Funny you should ask. I just met this dazzling wall, bit.ly/BCMargotsWall, brand new to BC, and thought if I wasn’t careful I could fall really hard for that one!
You got any cute walls in your life?
Where is the line of doing to much or to little for your kids?
It’s a tough call. Knowing what is developmentally appropriate at a given age, and taking into account what you know about your child, you can give them the expectation that they will do the things that they can, and you will help and teach them to do the things that they can’t (yet), and you are there for them to cover the things that are beyond their abilities…. until they’re not. The goal, in my opinion, is to raise functional adults, while not crushing the child. We have many books on parenting in the HQ 755-792 range (O’Neill floor 4, shelf 121), but don’t expect the experts to agree!
Why is everyone worth being with already in a relationship?
It can look that way sometimes, but it’s never true. Maybe try meeting some people outside your usual circles. And while you’re doing that the situation with the folks you already know may change.
Any tips for coming out to my parents?
That can be really tough. This guide from the Human Right’s Council may help you: bit.ly/OutHRCGuide. BC also has some resources for you: bit.ly/LBGTQBC. I sincerely hope your declaration is met with acceptance and love.
How do I stop suppressing my feelings/emotional needs in a romantic relationship? :(
Ask yourself the question, “What conditions would need to be met for me to be open about my feelings & needs?” If you don’t think those conditions can be met, then either a) you need to work on trust and courage or b) your partner is creating conditions hostile to trust. Or both. Brene Brown has some really great wisdom on courage & vulnerability: bit.ly/BC-brene-brown. Unfortunately, she’s so popular that all the books at BC Libraries are currently checked out. She’s also got some TedTalks and a recent Netflix special worth watching.
How do I stop observing/hanging around (not stalking… I’d say) someone?
Determination of stalking is not for the beholder but for the beheld. However, regardless of whether you or the other would consider your behavior “stalking”, you expressed that you want to stop. If you are having trouble doing that, talking to a therapist is the best option. And don’t worry if the stalkee is a therapist; those people should have procedures to handle stalkers and can refer you to another therapist if necessary.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months but he’s all the way in California! Any advice for long distance relationships? ?
If it’s worth it to both of you, you can make it work. It’s not easy, but communicate as much as possible (chat, phone, skype, write sweet long love letters in longhand) and save up for visits as often as possible. It helps to know if there’s an end to the separation in sight.
Pick one (for me)! 1.) Kevin 2.) Davis 3.) Grady 4.) Scott 5) Ian
They are all great names, so I can’t recommend one over the others. If you are asking about specific people with these names, you’ll need create your own version of The Bachelorette and pick one yourself. Just make sure the guys are willing participants first.
How do I deal with people who drain my energy?
Minimally. Making boundaries can feel risky, but it’s fine (and in fact good) to make them. And you want to make sure you don’t fall into the clutches of an energy vampire: bit.ly/colin-energy-vampire
Will I love again?
I wholeheartedly believe you will love again. But if you need convincing, just blast Lara Fabian’s I Will Love Again until you believe it too. bit.ly/iwillloveagainhttp://bit.ly/iwillloveagain
Kevin Martinez or Kevin Martinez?
IDK, but think about involving one or the other (or both) in your decision.
Why does my boyfriend ignore me during DND
It’s a thing. It’s a wonderful, compelling thing. And a great excuse to share my favorite video on the whole Internet: bit.ly/D6Vid
How to make a friend w/benefits your significant Other? [Response: ASK]
![How to make a friend w/benefits your significant Other? [Response: ASK]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/aw051319-19.jpg)
I agree with the response. I don’t think anyone wouldn’t be at least flattered to know you’d developed true feelings for them over the course of an otherwise rather transactional affair. You would be opening yourself up to rejection, of course, but that’s always the risk when telling someone you want a relationship. Worth it, in my opinion. Best of luck!
I HAVE A FRIEND THAT EVERYONE LOVES AND IS VERY NICE, BUT I CAN’T STAND HER. AM I A BAD PERSON/IS IT OKAY TO NOT BE FRIENDS WITH HER?
I think it’s okay. But how about looking at it through a different prism: be respectful to her, but know that she’s just not your people.
I fell for a bearded footballer but now he’s shaved we’ve lost the spark! + now I’m scared I’ll never see him again
If you’re scared you’ll never see him again, it sounds like you haven’t lost the spark. He’s the same person, facial hair or no. If you made the mistake of rejecting him for beardlessness & now regret it, ask for forgiveness. If no regrets, move on.
I have feelings for someone who wants to join the priesthood…
Love him in whatever way he wants to be loved. That’s true for anyone–you can’t force someone to love you if they want something or someone else more.
What would you do if we kissed in Plato’s Allegory of the Cave? ?
As a Wall I’m pretty comfortable with people reflecting things on me, it goes with the territory.
How do you tell ur roomate he has sleep apnea?
I would go the “I am not a doctor” (IANAD) route and not diagnose him, but gently bring up the symptoms that you’ve noticed, tell him they alarm you, and suggest he might want to ask his doctor (or see University Health Services (bit.ly/BostonCollegeHealth) about it. It’s good that you’re making the effort to do this; sleep apnea is no joking matter!
How do I get my girlfriend pregnant even though “she’s against it?”
Don’t.
Maybe the OP qualifies as that strange online activity I’ve heard about called “trolling”: IOW, provocation for fun.
My roommate keeps “sexiling” me. I have the feeling in my bed…what do I do?
You live there too, so make arrangements that accommodate everyone’s needs. As for them using your bed- gross! I wonder if you meticulously make up your bed (e.g. military-style), they might find it too hard to hide the evidence and just move to another location.