O’Neill Library

Hi, I’m the Answer Wall! I’ve been perched in the O’Neill Library lobby at Boston College since February 2017, except for a year in 2020 when I went fully online. Ask me a question by posting a post-it on me in O’Neill Library. I’ll answer within a day on weekdays. I snooze on the weekends, because answering questions is hard work!

How to make long distance hurt less

How to make long distance hurt less
How to make long distance hurt less

I don’t think there’s an easy fix to make missing someone less painful. Trying to video call regularly, finding ways to do things together virtually over distance, are two ways that can help mitigate some of the ache. But a lot of it is just missing someone for a lot of the time.

Is there a support group for students who lose a parent?

My Mom died + I feel like I don't have anyone that really gets it. It's been a few months and I'm not over it still. Is there a support group for students who lose a parent? I need more support right now.
My Mom died + I feel like I don’t have anyone that really gets it. It’s been a few months and I’m not over it still. Is there a support group for students who lose a parent? I need more support right now.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s clear you feel isolated, and it’s good to reach out to others. Here’s a helpful page about the journey of grieving in college provided by Campus Ministry: bit.ly/college-grief, who also sponsors a peer grief support network: bit.ly/bc-peer-grief. Counseling is another option For counseling with a spiritual context: bit.ly/bc-pastoral-counseling. For regular counseling: bit.ly/BC-counseling. I wish you peace and strength in your journey.

Feeling lonely. How can I fix this?

Feeling lonely. How can I fix this?
Feeling lonely. How can I fix this?

It’s important to remember that loneliness is a feeling, and feelings come and go. If you’d like to be with other people: call family, call old friends, call new friends, do things with new friends. Make friends by chatting with people who live near you, or are behind you in line at the Chocolate Bar, or if you’re a BC student, by joining BC clubs that interest you. I hope one of these helps alleviate those feelings!

What’s the best food here? I’m hungry

What's the best food here? I'm hungry [heart]
What’s the best food here? I’m hungry [heart]

If you’re hungry, isn’t anything good? No, but seriously, I’ve heard the soups are all excellent, and you kind of can’t beat the salad bar at Lower (remember it’s by bowl size, not weight, so go for the heavy stuff, like fresh mozzarella or artichoke hearts!).

Realest movie ever and why?

Realest movie ever and why?
Realest movie ever and why?

I can’t quite be sure what you mean, but I’ll take the opportunity to talk about a movie I liked. The library had a screening of The Farewell, directed by Lulu Wan. I haven’t stopped thinking about this heartfelt comedic drama. It is based on a true story, which made it feel very real to me.

What is the most important thing in life?

What is the most important thing in life?
What is the most important thing in life?

The answer to that will vary depending on who you talk to and what they value most. Overall, from my experience listening to you all and watching life in O’Neill lobby, I have seen that human connection, taking time for each other, listening, loving one another. and living with purpose seem to rank pretty high on the important scale.

Ik I shouldn’t think like this… but I really like giving compliments to my friends and rarely get any in return.

Ik I shouldn't think like this... but I really like giving compliments to my friends and rarely get any in return. Kinda makes me sad cos like... Do I really look/dress/do that bad?? This is such a small thing idk why it affects me so much
Ik I shouldn’t think like this… but I really like giving compliments to my friends and rarely get any in return. Kinda makes me sad cos like… Do I really look/dress/do that bad?? This is such a small thing idk why it affects me so much

What others have said is true: not everyone expresses love the same way and not everyone easily compliments. Even if you don’t feel any reciprocation, likely your words mean a great deal to those you compliment.

Not everyones love language is the same - they still care about you [heart]
Not everyones love language is the same – they still care about you ❤️

Agreed!

Know you're loved and I think you're cool!
Know you’re loved and I think you’re cool!

You made my day, thank you!

Eh tu? Brutus?

Eh tu? Brutus? Why did he betray Caesar?
Eh tu? Brutus? Why did he betray Caesar?

Caesar’s murder happened in the immediate aftermath of a civil war and sparked another generation of civil wars, so the actual whys are debated. But in general Romans hated tyrants, and one of Brutus’s ancestors had murdered the last of the Roman kings. If you want to get into the details I recommend this chapter in the Blackwell Companion to Juluis Caesar (bit.ly/bcl-caesar-assassination), which will point you to various interpretations and the ancient source material. (p.s. The line from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?” (“even you, Brutus?”). Plutarch has him say “kai su, o techne?” (“even you, my son?”)

How to cope with being absolutely terrible at a subject

How to cope with being absolutely terrible at a subject 🐱
How to cope with being absolutely terrible at a subject 🐱

Sigh… I’ve long been bedeviled by being in absolute last place in the Boston Marathon (I entered in 1985 and still haven’t even started!) so I get it. A wall will never break speed records. If it’s something you love, do it anyway, but don’t stake an income (or perhaps grades) on it. If you don’t love it, let it go and admire those who are good at it.