For those of a certain age it was 90 Bedford St, New York, NY 10014 in the West Village. For those even more of a certain age it was Z, double O, M, Box 3-5-O, Boston, Mass. 0-2-1-3-4. But maybe that’s not the kind of thing you’re talking about? Facebook claims to provide “friends,” but I’m dubious. Some humans I know speak wistfully about a place called MySpace. I’ve seen many people greet each other with friendly waves in my home, the O’Neill Library lobby at Boston College. I think the address is wherever you are.
We grow, we change. It’s ok to move on and make new friends. I would give it some time, though, to make sure that you’re just not in a mood where everything is annoying you. And not burn bridges or ghost people. Old friends turn up later on, and that can be a beautful thing.
Call, text, skype, write letters. Keep up with each other on social media. Stay busy. Make new friends. And be sad, sometimes, because it’s hard missing your friend. But not all the time.
Because they are great friends and just too much fun! Three possible solutions: find some study buddies who aren’t your regular friends, but are very serious students; make a pact with your friends to study for x amount of time and reward yourselves with a specific fun activity; or make studying a solitary habit, and meet up with your friends later.
Mine do too; ridiculously stupid happy. Revel in it!
It sounds like you know what the cause of this intense stress is. Try to reduce the amount of contact you have with people who stress you out. If you need space for yourself, try to find a place that is comfortable and peaceful; a space were you can relax, reflect, rest, or study for as long as you want or need to. The libraries have plenty of spaces that are conducive to relaxation, study or reflexion. My favorite is the area located at the 4th floor’s north end, where the soft chairs are. You ought to try it!
Groups of friends can be volatile sometimes. If you all have a commitment to sticking together, those can be times of growth. Sadly, they can also be times of rupture. You could let your friends know you want to help people build bridges, but you need a break of, say, a day or a week to regain equilibrium & perspective, then you’ll be ready to come back and help.
If your friends can’t respect that, there’s a big problem with them. Peer pressure to use drugs is ugly enough to begin with, without adding the risk of allergic reactions to the mix. It’s just a few days away, but I hope you can be firm about your intentions and get some agreement from them before heading there. And have a fantastic trip!
It is sad when the people you count on for support leave you to go it alone. But I don’t think skipping your finals would be a good idea at all. Maybe let her know you miss her and make plans to travel with her on in the future? If you could use some unconditional love, our therapy dogs are coming in through Finals – see the schedule: bit.ly/PuppersBC
You’re not alone, it’s a Res Life frequently asked question. They say: “If you would like to find roommates with whom you can enter the room selection process, contact your Resident Director. Another option is to enter into Final Selection, which is the last event for room selection. On the designated days for final selection, students may register themselves into this process via the housing application on “My ResLife” in the Agora Portal. Over the summer, we will place the students from Final Selection into housing assignments, doing our best to work with any preferences indicated within a student’s housing application.” (bit.ly/ResLifeFAQ)
Sometimes autism makes it hard to understand what others are thinking, including whether or not they want to be your friend. I suggest you start off being around people with similar interests (clubs, classes, hobbies, etc.). If someone in that group seems like friend-material, spend more time with them. Let the friendship grow slowly. Understand that some people have many friends and others have only a few. Those with many friends may not always have time to spend with you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t like you. As you get comfortable with a friend, let them know about your autism and how it affects your interactions with others. Being up front about that will help them know how to be a better friend. There are many websites with advice for people with autism. Just like with my advice, you should try what feels comfortable and don’t do something just because it was suggested.
Thank you original poster for spreading awareness … and thanks to subsequent posters for your replies. The Wall feels blessed to be part of a community where people care for each other. <3 <3 <3
It’s a really good idea to be open to a broad array of relationships: there are many kinds of love other than romantic. I’ve never really understood the phrase “just friends.” Friends are the ones who have your back for years, perhaps even a lifetime, while most romances, though intense, are temporary. The Greeks counted many types of love: friendship, empathic, erotic, and universal are the ones C.S. Lewis wrote about in The Four Loves. (O’Neill call number BV4639 .L45 1988). A Psychology Today article lists 7: bit.ly/7-types-of-love. May you learn to find the love you need.