ResLife has a database for that! bit.ly/BCNeedRoomie and click on “search for roommates.”
…other BC students who are looking for off-campus housing?…
爱你! ài nǐ! [Love you!]
![爱你! ài nǐ! [Love you!]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/20191028_051024_2.jpg)
![我 也 爱你 wǒ yě ài nǐ ! [I love you too!]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/20191028_051032_2.jpg)
It makes me feel all warm inside to be the bearer of these messages of love!
Why don’t boys like me? :(
It is human nature to fixate on negative feedback, but the Wall knows two things. 1) You’re great! 2) There are lots of possible someones for everyone. Keep seeking and you will find.
My best friend’s coming visit me from Williamsburg!! I’m so happy!!
Such good news! I hope you have a wonderful time together. Make sure you bring your bestie to visit me.
I’m so sad.
? Mourn the loss of the relationship, and give yourself a little time before starting another. Meanwhile, I hope you’ve got some friends with whom you can talk about it.
How to make my girlfriend happier
It depends on why your girlfriend is unhappy. If you’re worried about her, you could try asking about it, and whether there’s anything you can do to help. But pay attention to the response you get, because your help might not be what’s needed. Also take a moment to think about your motivation: are you asking because your girlfriend being happier would make you more comfortable? If it’s actually about how you feel rather than how she feels, that’s a totally different conversation and you should have them separately.
Do you think that ethical, consensual, nonmonogamous sex could be considered a problem?
I think it would depend on who you asked. My helpers have a variety of opinions about that issue. Consensual and ethical are minimums, it’s the non-monogamy that gets complicated when you move from theory to relating to real human beings. (BTW, I answered this very question on 10/2 and 10/8. You can always visit my blog to see questions you might have missed in their physical manifestation right here: library.bc.edu/answerwall.)
My roommate is easy to be annoyed…
🙁 I’m really sorry to hear that. People can be very mean. If the situation is really as bad as it seems, I might recommend avoiding this person or looking into a room transfer. Perhaps reach out to your RA or Residential Life directly (bit.ly/res-life). Unfortunately, there are many not-nice people in the world.
How 2 get over AN EX I see on campus everywhere.
Time will take care of the healing, but that doesn’t help you right now. In the immediate term, if you see your ex all over the place, perhaps try to vary your routes and normal hangouts to avoid them. Pick up new hobbies or clubs to keep your mind occupied. You’ll meet new people through these and find yourself thinking about your ex less and less. If they’re in your classes, all I can recommend is changing up your seat to sit far away from them. I believe in you!
Why does my bf think I sound like I’m from SoCal??
Hollywood’s influence on language is under-appreciated.
怎 么 追 到 女 朋 友?
Wooing a woman is a lot like making a friend. Start small. Invite her to an event with a group. If that goes well, invite her to get coffee or ice cream with you. If that goes well, try a cultural event like a concert or film or lecture, which involves finding out about her interests. The BC events calendar can be useful: events.bc.edu. And so on… Sometimes it’s as simple as hanging out or going for a walk. Be honest & respectful, and have fun.
Ah, good point. This writer should be asking how to woo a 女孩 (girl). If he’s looking for a 女朋友 (girlfriend), that could imply she’s already a girlfriend of someone else! (I supposed he meant he was looking for his future-girlfriend, but that might sound as if he’s going to undertake time-travel.)
How do I invite him to the club????
Straightforwardly? “Hi, would you like to go to the club?” Have some dates and times in mind, so you’re ready to answer that question. And tell a friend what you’re planning, so you have someone you can tell about The Ask whether it’s a success or not.
My high school crush, whom I was too nervous to ask out, got touchy-feely with me at a recent party and seemed really into me, though she has had a boyfriend for the past 2 years.
Be straightforward about this. Your reasons and language about it are good: “I really like you, but you have been with {boyfriend} for 2 years; I don’t want to invade your relationship. What are your thoughts?” Be prepared to find out she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with having a boyfriend and having some casual fun with you. In that case, you need to decide what your stance on that is.
Where is my Mr. Right?
The rightness of Mr. Right (your compatibility) is far more important than his richness. (If you marry for money, you earn every cent, as they say.) Just be your honest self and keep making friends, and Mr. Right will turn up. I know folks who didn’t marry until their 30’s, and they’re some of the happiest folks I know.
How to walk out of a broken relationship?
That can hurt a lot, even if you’re doing the breaking up. Everybody handles that differently, but general advice is to take extra good care of yourself for a while: good food, good sleep, whatever else makes you feel taken care of. Maybe resist the urge to do a rebound relationship for a bit, unless that’s what you need. Give yourself some time to be sad, or angry, or to feel any other way you do. No really wrong answers here, and none that don’t at least sorta suck. Be well, I’ll be here.
Why are boys so dumb?
I’ve met my share of dumb boys, girls, walls, floors, ceilings… Sounds like you’ve had a frustrating experience with a male human, or perhaps several. It’s certainly true that research points to some men not being socialized to value emotional intelligence as highly as some women. Is that what you’re talking about? You might be interested in the book Why Smart People Can Be So Stupid, by Robert Sternberg (O’Neill Library BF431 .W535 2002).
How do i get over my ex when I still love her?
No matter how much you still love her, I bet there are lots of reasons why you aren’t together any more. Don’t be afraid to feel your feelings, but gently remind yourself each time of all the other things that got in the way of your relationship. It will take time, but the love and the hurt will both dull and eventually go away.
What should I get my girl-friend for her B-day?
Make a list of her likes and hobbies. Try to come up with a couple of items or experiences that line up with each of those, then narrow it down to one thing that fits your budget and the occasion. Don’t forget to wrap it and while a card isn’t completely necessary, I bet she’d like one. Keep adding to the list as stuff comes up throughout the year, so you’re prepared for the gift-giving holidays to come!
Hey Wall, So my parents are getting a divorce.
You have an overwhelming number of important questions; you probably feel more than a little overwhelmed. I recommend talking many of these issues through with someone who can be both sympathetic and objective, and help you determine priorities for addressing and making sense of them. Counseling Services would be a good place to start: bit.ly/BC-counseling. For the dog poop I recommend any detergent plus oxy-clean or bleach, both available at any local grocery or drug store.
It can certainly be startling to see someone else’s internal monologue. Many of us are walking (or standing) around with such internal voices; it takes bravery to make it public, even anonymously, because you never know how people will respond. I was a little surprised myself, but it’s never a mistake to be compassionate.
I was in a toxic relationship that has ruin my life in high school?
I’m sorry someone you loved abused your trust. It can be hard to rebuild enough trust to connect with other people after an event like that. I recommend talking to someone at Counseling Services (bit.ly/BC-counseling) or Campus Ministry (bit.ly/bc-pastoral-counseling) to help you rebuild the capacity for trust and creating loving, nurturing, and mutually-beneficial relationships.