Category: Relationships

It seems sensible to wonder if that’s all he has in mind. You get to say what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not.

If he’s the love of your life, you stick with him, even at a distance. Relationships at a distance can be hard, because of what you’ll miss: touch. And you’ll have to work hard on communicating, but technology helps. Once upon a time, you’d have had to depend on letters. I recommend reading letters of famous couples, like John & Abigail Adams, or J.P. Sartre & Simone de Beauvoir. And then enjoy the luxury of Skype, Facetime, etc. Or did you mean you only just met him, and you’re not an item yet? In that case, throw all caution to the winds & tell him!

As you grow and mature as your own, independent person, you will begin to find that “home” feels less like home. Your home is here, or maybe somewhere else that you feel most comfortable. That doesn’t make you a bad person – it means that you’re gaining an independent sense of self and that’s a good thing. BUT, home is also where your family will be and that can be a double-sided coin: it’s common to love your family, but also get tired of them after a while (and not to look forward to being with them). We’re excited to have you back in January, fam!

If it felt awkward the last time you asked someone out it probably will the next time also. It’s at least a little awkward for most people, so don’t stress. Just ask.

Unrequited love is hard. It’s the topic of so many artworks that it must also be quite common. IOW, you’re not alone in loving someone who doesn’t love you. Seek out poems, stories, and songs about unrequited love, wallow in your pain for a while, and then… gather your strength and move on. (Here are some poems to get you started: bit.ly/poems-unrequited). You’ll find someone you love who loves you back, I’m certain of it.

Potential husbands are all over the place. I recommend getting involved in activities or clubs where potential husbands congregate. Take up rock climbing at a climbing wall, say, or sign up for a writing workshop series at Grub Street, get involved in a politically active group… it all depends on your interests. Churches come to mind, too, as do charities. In short, do what interests you, in groups, and you will meet people with shared interests who might become friends and might even become romantic prospects.

It depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s hard because we’re having so much fun but we need to address other responsibilities (“I’m having so much fun at this party but I need to leave because I’m working in the morning.”) Sometimes it signals a huge change in our lives, e.g., when you graduate and move on to a whole new world. It’s scary to leave behind the safety and security of what you know and enter the unknown. And it’s sad because you’ll be leaving behind some people too. Change can be difficult, but change can also lead to new adventures and opportunities and growth. I’ll end with some wise words from A.A. Milne and Walt Disney that may help to provide some perspective. “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” “Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.”

Honestly, directly, and as close to when the topic comes up as possible. It won’t get any better if you don’t address it. Also, the longer you sit on whatever it is the more important it becomes to you and the more unfair it will feel to your SO when you do finally bring it up. Here’s a little suggested reading: bit.ly/bc-conflict. Good luck!

It’s possible to be in love with any number of people; the hard part is sustaining plural romantic relationships that are honest and loving. Polyamory isn’t for everyone: the demands on honesty and trust are quite high for all parties. How do you know which is right? A wise woman once said to me: you know it’s the right person when you can’t live without their virtues and can live with their faults.

You really wanna know? Do I have the library database for you! bit.ly/StatistaSex for all the deets… Also see this 2017 article on Sexual diversity in the United States: bit.ly/PLoSSexualDiversity.

Relationships can be confusing and difficult at any age. My advice is not to force one to happen. Good relationships grow over time. You will likely know you are ready when you wake up one day and realize that you are already in a relationship.