Category: Relationships

It’s a tough call. There’s nothing better than being in love with your best friend, but love doesn’t always work out. If that happens, you could be out of a best friend, which would be distressing. Are you willing to take the risk? Only you can decide that.

This is one way, for sure. You could also try locating a Post-It nearer the Tech Desk. There are probably non-Post-It options also.

My helpers tell me it’s good to be active and “out there” if you want meet people, romantic or otherwise. Would a campus snowshoeing trip be for you? Check out BC Rec – Outdoor Adventures – for group outings. How about in the spring joining in on some ultimate frisbee? Cultural/religious programs and events might do the trick. You can always go old school and tell your friends and neighbors you are looking for a match. You never know.

Gotta agree with Anonymous Responder here. The only way to get to know someone (and yourself) is to get to know them.

Although good peer pressure can keep you on track, bad peer pressure can derail you. I think you already know what you should be doing, so don’t look to your peers for pressure- that can come from within.

Everyone experiences love differently, and it tends to be a little different each time, so it’s hard to generalize. Do you want to be? Because even in a stereotypical romance, after the initial phase of blurry happiness, love is ultimately about choosing to be a particular way with a particular person.

There are a whole bunch of things that could make that a tricky situation. But consider: there are lots of reasons why a relationship might not work out, many of which you can’t find out about until you know someone better. If you have concerns, be open about them, but the Wall encourages you not to worry too much about things that might happen. If there is trouble later you can address it then.

The Wall can’t tell how to read the word suffer, so it has a couple of answers. TLDR: Dump them. If you mean “suffer” generally: Directly. Quickly. Trying to soften the blow or wait for a good time tends not to work out all that well. You’re under no obligation to stay somewhere that makes you unhappy. If “suffer” means you feel unwell the answer might be the same–but also consider reaching out to campus Counseling Services (bit.ly/BC-counseling) or Campus Ministry’s pastoral counseling (bit.ly/bc-campus-ministry), depending on what sort of advice you’d like. If you’re feeling unsafe, call BCPD

Maybe tell the boy about your roommate? No, but seriously. Directly, leaving no ambiguity, but kindly, such as: “I had a good time, but it just didn’t seem right for me. You’ll find the right person.” It will be awkward, and somewhat painful for the recipient, but the best course is honesty & clarity.

The timing on these things can be rough. Love often arrives when it’s inconvenient. Try making plans to do some stuff you’re really excited about, and then do them.

First, find a friend. Second, see if the friendship develops into something more. Finding a boyfriend or girlfriend is basically the same process. If you are unsure where to find other gay/bi guys, you could start with BC resources: bit.ly/BCLGBTQ and even the Commonwealth has a website for LGBTQ youth: bit.ly/ma-lgbtq .

IF the boys all know & are fine with it, and you evaluate the source of your guilt & decide it’s not an issue and that the consequences of your activity really have no foreseeable harms to yourself or others, then continue. That’s a lot of ifs, though. Proceed with caution when the potential benefit is short-term pleasure and potential costs are broken hearts, betrayals, or a failure to value yourself.

It might be time for a check-in on the relationship. Talk to him about it, but try to do it in terms of behavior. “When you do [thing] it makes me feel [feeling]” That gives a little more emotional space to have a conversation rather than a fight. But if you feel like your boyfriend isn’t interested in you, that is a conversation to have now.

It is sad when the people you count on for support leave you to go it alone. But I don’t think skipping your finals would be a good idea at all. Maybe let him know you miss him and make plans to travel with him in the future? If you could use some unconditional love, our therapy dogs are coming in through Finals & tonight’s the last night – see the schedule: bit.ly/PuppersBC

It seems sensible to wonder if that’s all he has in mind. You get to say what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not.