Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
Honestly, directly, and as close to when the topic comes up as possible. It won’t get any better if you don’t address it. Also, the longer you sit on whatever it is the more important it becomes to you and the more unfair it will feel to your SO when you do finally bring it up. Here’s a little suggested reading: bit.ly/bc-conflict. Good luck!
It’s possible to be in love with any number of people; the hard part is sustaining plural romantic relationships that are honest and loving. Polyamory isn’t for everyone: the demands on honesty and trust are quite high for all parties. How do you know which is right? A wise woman once said to me: you know it’s the right person when you can’t live without their virtues and can live with their faults.
Yes. Nana would give you the same advice. Good luck!
As a Wall, I am fortunate that the only hookups I have are those for hanging pictures and such on me! More seriously, perhaps this is something that people (probably on most college campuses, not just BC) like to talk about (even if they don’t participate) and that makes it seem prevalent. Or maybe not. This is a difficult issue to address in such a small space. If you search the catalog for “hookup culture” you will find some books that explore the topic. Also check out this article for BC’s “Dating Professor” Kerry Cronin’s take: bit.ly/bc-hookup. The BC Women’s Center offers a “ResTalk” program called “Undressing the Hookup Culture” (see bit.ly/HookupResTalk) and may also have other resources.
You really wanna know? Do I have the library database for you! bit.ly/StatistaSex for all the deets… Also see this 2017 article on Sexual diversity in the United States: bit.ly/PLoSSexualDiversity.
Relationships can be confusing and difficult at any age. My advice is not to force one to happen. Good relationships grow over time. You will likely know you are ready when you wake up one day and realize that you are already in a relationship.
First, find a friend. Second, see if the friendship develops into something more. Finding a boyfriend or girlfriend is basically the same process. If you are unsure where to find other gay/bi guys, you could start with BC resources: bit.ly/BCLGBTQ. Even the Commonwealth has a website for LGBTQ youth: bit.ly/ma-lgbtq.
Presumably, she thinks you look good in it, so that’s something to keep in mind. But the whole “make” thing seems off. If you really don’t like it you should feel comfortable saying so. Cheerful and direct is the best way. It won’t be as bad as you think, and if it is there’s something else going on.
I’m sorry you’re feeling neglected on snapchat. Maybe others are wondering the same thing and what you need to do is respond to them? Or maybe if snapchat isn’t working for making connections with people, you can try a different channel. I see people staring at their phones as they walk by me all day and night, and I wonder whether they’re connecting sufficiently. Don’t forget the talking-to-people channel.
Your chances will improve greatly if she likes you back. However, you may want to temper your approach until you know how willing she is to help you.
Nothing? Priests take vows for a reason, and it would be ethical to respect those vows. You might want to ask yourself why you’re attracted to someone who is prevented from reciprocating your affection. I kind of understand it, though: priests are often intelligent, caring, and interesting… features we’d all want in a partner. Think about the features you find attractive, and look for them among people who haven’t taken vows.
It’s your call, but one thing that rarely works is changing people, so you’d probably have to decide to live with the cheating if you stick with him. Seeing you there posting this, I just felt so strongly you deserve to be treated better than this. Maybe you can just be friends?
I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely in the love department. Encourage yourself to go to social events & meet people, get involved in conversations, listen, do things you enjoy, offer to share activities you enjoy with other people, and above all, have faith that getting to know people, which is an end in itself & a joy, can also eventually lead to romance.
No, RAs are not permitted to have romantic relationships with the residents of their res, according to Jake Cusick, Housing Assignment Specialist at ResLife. So I guess you have to let this one pass. Crushes do fade in time.
Plato, that big name philosopher born 427-ish BCE? (bit.ly/SEP-plato) No. Some guy named Plato, maybe? Ask him if he’s interested. Fingers crossed.
I won’t say it’s not a difficult situation, but there is help and hope and a future. I’d contact BC’s LGBTQ student support: bit.ly/LBGTQBC. Also, there are many resources for partners available here: bit.ly/PartnerTrans. Wishing you both strength and happiness.
![Why do girls enjoy getting pet so much? [Response: Because we do]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/aw102518-3.jpg)
Isn’t it wonderful when you have someone like that in your life? Make sure you let her know how much you value her!
Be interested in someone’s story. Ask questions. Be a good listener. Reveal yourself. Suggest an outing. And sometimes go with the flow and let your friend direct the plan. But first check your pulse: are you depleted or overwhelmed? You may not be in a place to be that friend.
Communicate, but don’t suffocate. Give him enough breathing room to miss you, and most importantly enjoy your own semester even though you’ll miss him!
