Category: Relationships

Unrequited love is hard. It’s the topic of so many artworks that it must also be quite common. IOW, you’re not alone in loving someone who doesn’t love you. Seek out poems, stories, and songs about unrequited love, wallow in your pain for a while, and then… gather your strength and move on. (Here are some poems to get you started: bit.ly/poems-unrequited). You’ll find someone you love who loves you back, I’m certain of it.

Potential husbands are all over the place. I recommend getting involved in activities or clubs where potential husbands congregate. Take up rock climbing at a climbing wall, say, or sign up for a writing workshop series at Grub Street, get involved in a politically active group… it all depends on your interests. Churches come to mind, too, as do charities. In short, do what interests you, in groups, and you will meet people with shared interests who might become friends and might even become romantic prospects.

It depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s hard because we’re having so much fun but we need to address other responsibilities (“I’m having so much fun at this party but I need to leave because I’m working in the morning.”) Sometimes it signals a huge change in our lives, e.g., when you graduate and move on to a whole new world. It’s scary to leave behind the safety and security of what you know and enter the unknown. And it’s sad because you’ll be leaving behind some people too. Change can be difficult, but change can also lead to new adventures and opportunities and growth. I’ll end with some wise words from A.A. Milne and Walt Disney that may help to provide some perspective. “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” “Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.”

Honestly, directly, and as close to when the topic comes up as possible. It won’t get any better if you don’t address it. Also, the longer you sit on whatever it is the more important it becomes to you and the more unfair it will feel to your SO when you do finally bring it up. Here’s a little suggested reading: bit.ly/bc-conflict. Good luck!

It’s possible to be in love with any number of people; the hard part is sustaining plural romantic relationships that are honest and loving. Polyamory isn’t for everyone: the demands on honesty and trust are quite high for all parties. How do you know which is right? A wise woman once said to me: you know it’s the right person when you can’t live without their virtues and can live with their faults.

You really wanna know? Do I have the library database for you! bit.ly/StatistaSex for all the deets… Also see this 2017 article on Sexual diversity in the United States: bit.ly/PLoSSexualDiversity.

Relationships can be confusing and difficult at any age. My advice is not to force one to happen. Good relationships grow over time. You will likely know you are ready when you wake up one day and realize that you are already in a relationship.

First, find a friend. Second, see if the friendship develops into something more. Finding a boyfriend or girlfriend is basically the same process. If you are unsure where to find other gay/bi guys, you could start with BC resources: bit.ly/BCLGBTQ.  Even the Commonwealth has a website for LGBTQ youth: bit.ly/ma-lgbtq.

Presumably, she thinks you look good in it, so that’s something to keep in mind. But the whole “make” thing seems off. If you really don’t like it you should feel comfortable saying so. Cheerful and direct is the best way. It won’t be as bad as you think, and if it is there’s something else going on.

I’m sorry you’re feeling neglected on snapchat. Maybe others are wondering the same thing and what you need to do is respond to them? Or maybe if snapchat isn’t working for making connections with people, you can try a different channel. I see people staring at their phones as they walk by me all day and night, and I wonder whether they’re connecting sufficiently. Don’t forget the talking-to-people channel.

Nothing? Priests take vows for a reason, and it would be ethical to respect those vows. You might want to ask yourself why you’re attracted to someone who is prevented from reciprocating your affection. I kind of understand it, though: priests are often intelligent, caring, and interesting… features we’d all want in a partner. Think about the features you find attractive, and look for them among people who haven’t taken vows.

I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely in the love department. Encourage yourself to go to social events & meet people, get involved in conversations, listen, do things you enjoy, offer to share activities you enjoy with other people, and above all, have faith that getting to know people, which is an end in itself & a joy, can also eventually lead to romance.