Given the quantity of songs, poems, paintings, sculptures, novels, films, and academic studies & books in a wide variety of fields, I think I’d have to say: both, and nobody knows quite where the balance lies. Some subject terms to try in a library search: interpersonal relations, attachment behavior, intimacy, love, desire… just imagine how many books representing how many perspectives there are!

The best thing you can do for an old friend is to take the first step to making the meeting possible. Perhaps on parting you felt what this poem by Du Fu, a Chinese poet, expresses:

A Toast for Men Yun-Ch’ing
BY DU FU
TRANSLATED BY FLORENCE AYSCOUGH
Illimitable happiness,
But grief for our white heads.
We love the long watches of the night, the red candle.
It would be difficult to have too much of meeting,
Let us not be in hurry to talk of separation.
But because the Heaven River will sink,
We had better empty the wine-cups.
To-morrow, at bright dawn, the world’s business will entangle us.
We brush away our tears,
We go—East and West.

YES! Lynch Alumni Rock!

¡ !

I believe in you!

I highly recommend bookmarking the BC Events Calendar, events.bc.edu, which is chock full of free events, such as lectures and readings in the Lowell Series. Also: club sports, clubs, and all the books & DVD’s at O’Neill Library. There are also a number of off campus things which are free for BC students, such as tickets to the Boston Museum of Fine Arts, the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the Harvard Museum of Natural History, and the Peabody Museum of Archaeology and Ethnology. More details: bit.ly/BC-mus-passes.

I expect it is due to 1) living in a home here in O’Neill that is full of books, and 2) daily listening to the vibrant intellectual conversations (in so many different languages!) as people pass through the lobby.

What springs to mind (because I’m kind of an old wall) is Gilligan & Ginger, but if you don’t like that, here are 30 more ideas: https://bit.ly/duo-red.

This is a great question – and it’s not easy! I suggest connecting with the Connors Family Learning Center (bit.ly/BC-connors). They may be able to help you strategize both generally and specifically for certain essay assignments. Good luck! You can do this!

Are we talking favorite letters? Joules or watts? Jang Ye-eun or Kang Yoon-sung? Context, please!

Very sympathetic on existential crises. You know that’s impossible, right? I’d hate for you to be down on yourself for not being able to do something no one can. Here’s a thought: make yourself a list of the things you want to know about the most, maybe a top 10. If you spend a couple of years on each you’ll know way more than most people.

Well, that’s awkward, but I’m sure it is true! She is an amazing sea wall on the north shore; strong and beautiful.

Focus on the act more than the self: are you doing something helpful or harmful? Do helpful acts & avoid harmful acts, keep reminding yourself of this, and the rest will follow.

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting more and more students from China over the years; I’ve also heard from many other students coming from other countries, and American students returning home from study abroad. All of this mixing brings new perspectives to home countries and extraordinary possibilities for change.

Although I wish it weren’t the case, racism does persist at Boston College. For an article detailing one Black alumni group’s reflections on race at Boston College, see “The Tenth” https://bit.ly/3ScJnPC. Like The Tenth, many student groups and staff members at Boston College continue to make strides in anti-racist activism today. The student group FACES is a student-run anti-racist organization, and their instagram is @faces.council. Remember that institutional support is available through the Office of Institutional Diversity (https://bit.ly/3TzU6EP). Everyone has a right to feel a sense of belonging here.

I agree with the commenter, that you should be cautious. With such a large age difference, you are subject to a lot of power dynamics that aren’t awesome and may not be as readily apparent to you as to him. Please tread carefully.

Patrick Henry’s principals and aspirations were noteworthy; I wish you good fortune and persistence. (Patrick Henry enslaved people throughout his life, so his commitment to liberty extended only so far. May your commitment to liberty be more capacious than his!)

Sometimes the judgement can feel overwhelming, but please know that there ARE plenty of people here–both queer and otherwise–who will embrace you with open hearts and arms. Building queer community despite hostility from others has always been central to queer resistance. I encourage you to look into the LGBTQ support services offered by Boston College, and consider joining a queer student group! Queer people have as much of a right to be here as anyone else. Keep on being unapologetically yourself–the world is better for it!
Much love,
The Wall (they/them/theirs)

The quirks harm no-one. You should examine behaviors that harm you or people around you.

There’s really no way for you to know what the perfect timing for someone else is. Don’t overthink it, just ask. And be gracious whatever the answer is.