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I’m having a really hard time adjusting. I’ve been crying every night since I got here. I feel emotionally unwell and stressed. What resources can help? Does it REALLY get better?

I'm having a really hard time adjusting. I've been crying every night since I got here. I feel emotionally unwell and stressed. What resources can help? Does it REALLY get better?
I’m having a really hard time adjusting. I’ve been crying every night since I got here. I feel emotionally unwell and stressed. What resources can help? Does it REALLY get better?

Please don’t suffer alone. Counseling Services (http://bit.ly/BC-counseling) is a good place to start. Lots of warm Wall hugs to you, and yes, it does get better.

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Will I get a 528 on the MCAT? [crying face drawing] (What should I do if I get a 487?)

Will I get a 528 on the MCAT? [crying face drawing] (What should I do if I get a 487?)
Will I get a 528 on the MCAT? [crying face drawing] (What should I do if I get a 487?)

A perfect MCAT score s pretty rare and y don’t need a 528 to become a doctor. I advise you to do your best and then work with the results – and consult with the BC pre-med advisors (bit.ly/PreMedBC) throughout the process. You can re-take the exam and take other steps to become a more competitive candidate if you get a low score. Best of luck!

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Sad movie recs? I like to watch sad movies, but I also don’t like being sad.

Sad movie recs? I like to watch sad movies, but I also don't like being sad.
Sad movie recs? I like to watch sad movies, but I also don’t like being sad.

My Library helpers and their colleagues have some sad movie recommendations. 

  1. Grave of the Fireflies
  2. Ghost World
  3. The Way We Were
  4. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy: The Return of the King
  5. Whisper of the Heart
  6. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
  7. Scent of a Woman
  8. The Thin Red Line
  9. The NeverEnding Story
  10.  Harold and Maude
  11.  Fiddler on the Roof
  12.  Steel Magnolias
  13.  Bambi
  14.  Love, Actually is both my favorite Christmas and sad movie. I’ve watched it about 20 times and it still makes me cry, but it’s a sentimental (almost happy) cry, not the kind of thing that will make you want to go to bed and pull the covers over your head.
  15. Old Joy
  16. Scenes from a Marriage
  17. La Strada
  18. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
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Must do things before graduation? -where should we go? – what should we eat? [crossed off partial questions and a drawing of a face sticking out its tongue]

Must do things before graduation? -where should we go? - what should we eat? [crossed off partial questions and a drawing of a face sticking out its tongue]
Must do things before graduation? -where should we go? – what should we eat? [crossed off partial questions and a drawing of a face sticking out its tongue]

My Library helpers and their colleagues have a few ideas on what to make sure you do before graduation.

Places to visit:

  1. Crane Beach
  2. Go on a Whale watch cruise
  3. Boston nautical landmarks you never saw while at BC. USS Constitution tour, Rowe’s Wharf for lunch, ferry to Harbor Islands for afternoon, dinner at The Tall Ship in East Boston, overnight stay at Custom House Tower. Peace Out!
  4. Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum
  5. Boston Harbor Islands
  6. See a play at the Robsham!

Places and things to eat:

  1. Modern Pastry
  2. Clam Box of Ipswich
  3. Eat at a spendy Italian restaurant in the North End, preferably at night
  4. Blue Ribbon BBQ
  5. Cream of Wheat at Neighborhood in Somerville. Trust me.
  6. Flatbreads
  7. Ramen down in Coolidge Corner
  8. Cannoli
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Which school is better for pursuing social work as a grad student? BC or BU?

Which school is better for pursuing social work as a grad student? BC or BU?
Which school is better for pursuing social work as a grad student? BC or BU?

For what they’re worth (not much), the US News rankings have BC and BU tied for #11 with several other schools. The real way to pick a grad school is to pick the one that has faculty and/or programs working on the things you want to work on. Talk to other grad students there about who makes a good advisor.

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How can we get folks at BC to use they/them pronouns more respectfully?

How can we get folks at BC to use they/them pronouns more respectfully?
How can we get folks at BC to use they/them pronouns more respectfully?

We can all (LGBTQ & allies) encourage & promote the use of pronouns by doing things like posting a question like yours in a public space, for example. Community efforts are often stronger. If you’re a student, you might find it helpful to connect with the LGBTQ community thorugh the office of student outreach & support (bit.ly/bc-stu-support). Staff can connect via LGBT@BC: bit.ly/lgbt-at-bc.

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I feel so guilty

I feel so guilty for being a homosexual. Will this feeling ever go away or will i just live the rest of my life hating myself? I dont know what to do with my life or how to tell the people i truly love the most. Sometimes, as bad as this may sound, i do hope it is a phase, but in my mind i know its not and sometimes that makes me upset. The fact that i will never be normal worries me every day.

I have some good news—it does not have to feel like this forever. Feelings of guilt and self-hatred are terribly difficult, but since they are learned, they can also be unlearned over time. I firmly believe that finding community and actively seeking out representation is the path towards learning to love yourself exactly as you are. When we find community that accepts us—and when we see people like us finding joy, whether it be in real life, TV, movies, or books—we begin to learn that there is so much good to be found in embracing who we know ourselves to be, regardless of what others consider “normal.” We have to remember that if we try to live inauthentically to please someone else, everyone loses.

Telling the people we love the most can be very hard and scary. There are many groups at Boston College full of people who have gone through similar experiences, and I suggest you reach out to find community and support. Check it out! https://www.bc.edu/content/bc-web/offices/student-affairs/sites/student-outreach-and-support-services/lgbtq-support.html#tab-discussion_groups

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I recently discovered that I almost certainly have OCD…

(mainly, POCD). I’m not sure to whom I can talk about it since, you know, it’s a rather obscene thing. I’d also love to learn about OCD in general before talking to someone, but seems like I can’t find anything helpful regarding POCD. Is it a specific form of OCD or is it it’s own thing? Some say genetics are at play in OCD, is that true? How to get rid of it? Can I get rid of it on my own (since I’d feel extremely uncomfortable talking about it with…anyone, to be honest)

POCD must be burdensome. I hope you can find help. I found a site that looks like a good starting point: https://www.manhattancbt.com/pocd/. It has both good information about POCD and a service that can answer questions and provide recommendations for therapy in your area. I wish you the best.

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Is NYU better than BC?

Is NYU better than BC?
Is NYU better than BC?

They are both exceptional universities! I am partial to BC, of course, but have you seen my cousin, The Living Wall (bit.ly/NYULivingWall), at NYU? They don’t answer questions, but they are glorious!