Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
First know: You are worthy of love, and you deserve love. That you feel that you have not been loved by your parents is heartbreaking. Children should not need to do anything to earn their parents’ love – that’s not how love works. Talking to University Counseling (bit.ly/BC-counseling) may help you find strategies to cope and to find peace.
I’m not really inclined to rank questions. I enjoy answering them all! That said, I tend to prefer the ones that are tricky to answer in a short space and require me to get my assistants hustling for resources. Or the ones that are heartfelt & honest. Or silly ones with references to pop culture & memes. Or philosophical or moral questions. Or ones about the library or the BC campus. Or your drawings, I always love your drawings… I like all of those the best.
Number 1 most frequent question on the Answer Wall! Hereās how: My assistants use this template: bit.ly/print-postit to create the ādocumentā and then send it to the printer as a manual feed. Then they put the actual template of sticky-notes into the printerās manual feed tray.
Susan B. Anthony is a champion of womenās rights, yes. But the feminist movement has struggled with inclusivity since its beginning. As your fellow respondent references, the āwomenā to whom these rights applied during the First Wave were considered to be straight, white, and mid-to-upper class. Although thereās been a lot of progress in this department, itās still up to us to make amends and move forward together as one beautiful diverse body! For a great book on the history of feminism, I recommend Estelle B. Freedmanās No Turning Back (O’Neill Library HQ1121 .F74 2002). It does need a little updating since a lot has happened in the past 15 years. Perhaps a great mind like yours is up to the task?
Because some of my very sweetest friends are the walls of gingerbread houses, if I could drink, I’d love to try the Gingerbread Latte. Have one for me?
If he’s the love of your life, you stick with him, even at a distance. Relationships at a distance can be hard, because of what you’ll miss: touch. And you’ll have to work hard on communicating, but technology helps. Once upon a time, you’d have had to depend on letters. I recommend reading letters of famous couples, like John & Abigail Adams, or J.P. Sartre & Simone de Beauvoir. And then enjoy the luxury of Skype, Facetime, etc. Or did you mean you only just met him, and you’re not an item yet? In that case, throw all caution to the winds & tell him!
Writer’s block is usually a result of your internal editor being adjusted louder than your internal creator. When your internal editor says “not good enough” too often or too loudly, preventing you from getting the words in your head onto the page, tell your internal editor, “It’s a good start. I can change it later if I need to.” Just keep repeating that until it’s louder and more persistent than your internal editor. I also recommend reading Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird (O’Neill Library PN147 .L315 1994).
Yes! Kind of. You can major in psychology or neuroscience (depending on your planned graduation year) and focus your studies on sleep science. Or you could major in nursing for a much more practical application of sleep.
![6 hrs to dd --- when you're tryna finish work as the deadline comes up [drawing of dotted line across neck of child]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/aw121418-5.jpg)
By the time you read my response, you’ll be done. I hope it feels really, really good! Celebrate being done – and maybe next semester level up on your time management skills with academic coaching at the CFLC (bit.ly/BC-connors)?
Most writers would agree at one time or another. If you take it seriously, writing is really, really hard. Most writers go through many revisions & get lots of input on their way to a finished piece. If you think about it, it’s a weird behavior: you put marks on a piece of paper that some other people will decode into words. You have to anticipate all manner of possible interpretations and misinterpretations & account for them ahead of time, not really knowing for sure what your words will mean to someone. That’s double-black-diamond communicating. To do it well takes a whole lot of practice. You have my complete sympathy! And I think you’ll master it.
![More therapy dogs? [response: I want cats!]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/aw121418-3.jpg)
They are still coming: Saturday, Campbell will be here from 2 pm to 6 pm. Charlie will be awaiting your visit on Monday between 5 pm and 7 pm. And Sailor will end this semester’s visitations on Tuesday with a visit from 7 pm to 9 pm. [As I mentioned yesterday, we would love to have cats and other animals, but the university prefers we stick to dogs. But here’s another picture–Scarlet and Henry!]
Lots of angles on this big one — here’s an interpretation from the Buddhist perspective: āLove creates a communion with life. Love expands us, connects us, sweetens us, ennobles us.” Jack Kornfield, The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace
Far from being proof of idiocy, your persistence in the face of adversity is admirable and scholarly. Perhaps you are taking chemistry for a major or pre-professional requirement. Maybe you’re just trying to prove something to yourself. In any case, I wish you the best with it. Do visit the CFLC (bit.ly/BC-connors) for peer tutoring whenever you need assistance.
Faculty are evaluated on research, teaching, and contributions to the university and the scholarly community. Student feedback and evaluations are part of that. bit.ly/bc-faculty-bylaws. Tenure was designed to protect faculty from being fired for not being popular with donors or governments, so whether students “like” a professor seems potentially like a similar issue. More info on tenure and why it’s useful: bit.ly/bc-tenure.
As you grow and mature as your own, independent person, you will begin to find that “home” feels less like home. Your home is here, or maybe somewhere else that you feel most comfortable. That doesn’t make you a bad person – it means that you’re gaining an independent sense of self and that’s a good thing. BUT, home is also where your family will be and that can be a double-sided coin: it’s common to love your family, but also get tired of them after a while (and not to look forward to being with them). We’re excited to have you back in January, fam!
!["You might call me a..." [series of three emoticons showing a face putting on a pair of sunglasses] "Know-it-wall"](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/know-it-wall.png)
Sometimes, as with President Bush recently, it’s a federal law. But each state and commonwealth makes its own decisions, and my helpers who have lived elsewhere say the flags are at half staff more often here. Right now it honors President Bush, and a Massachusetts firefighter, Christopher Roy, who died over the weekend. If you’re ever curious, the state has a web page which will tell you why: bit.ly/bc-flag
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back…. Chiliiii’s baby back RIBS!
The best plan is to not sit for too long at one time. Get up and stretch and walk around at least every hour. And make sure you strengthen and stretch the muscles that get out of balance from too much sitting. The trainers at the Plex can probably help set up a program. But enough preventive solutions; you need immediate solutions, right? Try one of these if youāve stiffened up. When you stand up, first do a few stretches–a quad stretch, a hip flexor stretch. Or try some bouncing and shaking: stand up (shoulder width stance), starting from the bottom of your feet, gently shake up and down for a minute or so, then make your motions smaller and smaller until you are still again. Good luck with finals!
Fr. Leahy usually asks other BC administrators speak on issues such as racism, and the BC administration has not been silent. After the most recent incident, the Provost, the VP for Student Affairs, and school Deans have all made public statements condemning racism and offering support to anyone affected by it.
