Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
Here are details, assuming you mean Columbia in NY (bit.ly/ColumbiaTransfer). If you mean Columbia in Chicago, then bit.ly/ColumbiaChicagoTransfer. Info for Columbia College in Missouri: bit.ly/ColumbiaMoTransfer There are others – let me know if you need more info. I would also check in with your Academic Advisor.
Everyone’s most effective approach is a little different, so there’s a lot of advice available. The Wall suggests running a few simple experiments. 1) Some people need absolute quiet to focus, others like some background hum. Try doing the opposite of what you usually do for a bit and see if it’s better. 2) Some people cram immediately before exams, others space it out in smaller chunks thorugh the semester. Most people have done the first; try the second if you haven’t. 3) Take care of your body and mind. It’s really hard to focus if you’re hungry, or falling asleep, or stressed out. You can also talk to my friends at the Connors Family Learning Center down one floor–they can get you set up with an academic coach to give you more detailed advice. http://bit.ly/BC-connors
😥Yes, so true. It takes so much effort and time to recover from childhood abuse, especially if the victim is surrounded by people who either don’t validate the reality or worse, actively deny it. Finding compassionate people who do believe the victim’s recollections can help them regain confidence in their own perceptions. Therapy can help a person nurture an adult perspective in which the harmed child is recalled with love and respect as a hero who created coping methods that helped them survive. The adult can then set those childhood coping methods aside, because the threat is in the past. Individual experience with the effort involved with healing varies a lot, but it’s always worth it. I believe you can do it.
It sounds from other responses as if the Dean’s office would be interested in hearing what you have to say about less traumatizing options. Please reach out to them. This wall (and librarians who help answer it) are not equipped to give medical or medical policy advice. However, library staff *are* equipped to evaluate sources. If you click through to the sources for those figures, you’ll find that the lower % was established by a non-random internet survey, and asked about lifetime harm; it is both a low standard for evidence, and not necessarily about behavior during college years. The higher % was a very small sample (159) of a wide range of ages in UG classes at U. Mass Boston, and was intended as an instrument validation study for the Deliberate Self Harm Inventory (DSHI). Researchers caution that the results should not be used to estimate population prevalence for self-harm behaviors. If you are interested in further uses of the DSHI, I recommend searching for it in the PsycInfo database and selecting “test and measure” in the search drop-down menu.
I’m down for you always.
The reality is that many if not most people will change careers, sometimes multiple times. It’s not a final decision. I’d check in with the Career Center (bit.ly/BC-career) for some validation of your career choice. There will always be “what ifs”. Even I wonder once in a while if I should have studied to be a memorial wall, like my amazing cousin, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall, but I know that I have a valuable role to play here at BC doing my answering.
Yes, this is all anonymous. I will never punish anyone for asking questions here. The only questions that are out of bounds are ones that betray the anonymity of non-public figures or use language that could harm someone, and my response to those questions is to redact the problem material, not to punish.
I’m so sorry to hear that Lean on Me did not respond by the time you wrote this – I hope that they eventually did. If not, I think it’s important that you provide that feedback to them at team@lean0n.me (with a zero for an O). Please continue looking for resources out there when you need someone to talk to, like Crisis Text Line. And remember that you don’t need to be suicidal to utilize a crisis line. As they say “if it’s a crisis to you, it’s a crisis to us.” crisistextline.org/texting-in
The current resident is a replica made in the 90s. The original was made in Japan and lived in Brookline for many years before coming to BC in the 50s. The original has been restored and is on display at BC’s McMullen Museum of Art, over on the Brighton campus. bit.ly/bc-eaglemania
Empathy. It can be extremely frustrating to care for someone deeply (as with a best friend) and disagree with the way they view the world. Just remember that they are humans too and have experiences that have guided them to their current viewpoints. I recommend engaging them on their experiences and asking what led them to see the world as they see it today. Also remember that you should be just as open about changing your views if they’re able to present a compelling argument. Mutual respect for each others’ opinions and open dialogue are how friendships blossom – the “education” part will come naturally if you focus on the dialogue.
I want you to live, too! I even want you to thrive. But I don’t really have the capacity to help those things happen other than to say that I care about you. The offices & phone numbers you list are exactly what I would tell you to try; that’s all I know to do, because I’m not a medical professional. If you’re concerned that those routes wouldn’t help, all I can say is you’re worth the effort of trying. If you’re concerned that they might hurt (by, say, triggering a mandatory leave), please read the responses from the Dean of Students office; I think their answers may allay your fears.
It seems likely that you have have a much broader experience with the world than he does, and I suspect that plays a large role in the disconnect between you two on this one facet of your relationship. I don’t know how serious you are, or your life situation, but it might do you both some good to explore your native culture together. That could be as simple as scheduling video chats with your friends and family back home for the two of you, or as extravagant as having him come visit you in your home country. Seeing the human side of the “other” is a powerful way to break down privileged views of your own culture. It’s doubtful that he or his family mean any ill will when they take you in as a guest. It’s worth noting that simply by the fact that this is their home country, they will have more institutionalized power and comfort than you. I don’t think that’s right, but the opposite would be true if he were an international student in your country. No matter what, I think it’s important that you’re honest with him about your feelings. If the relationship is important, he will take them to heart. If not, then perhaps you’ve done yourself a favor long term.
As with any impressive physical feat, Super Saiyan and Ultra Instinct require a lot of training and dedication. Goku didn’t go SS overnight – he trained for his entire life up to that point (and after it’s worth noting). It helps to have a strong motivator to keep up the training (like the rivalry with Vegeta or an existential threat in Frieza). Just like Goku, I recommend starting small with some easy diet changes and incorporating exercise into your routine. Exercise classes can be useful because they will give you a social network to keep you coming back and teach you good technique.
![What are your thoughts on the recent flier vandalism on campus? [Response: Indeed, I witnessed it happening.]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/aw031819-3.jpg)
If you or anyone you know has witnessed vandalism, I recommend reporting it. I’m not always the first to know about things like this. My librarian assistants are often more attuned to the latest developments in libraries, and not as connected to campus news. I do hope it’s not more racist graffiti. Those incidents always make me sad.
I have heard that the BC Heights covered this yesterday. Whenever controversial comments are made on either side of an argument, passions flair and in this case led to students ripping down the fliers advertising the Lies Feminists Tell event. I can never condone vandalism of any kind and would instead encourage engaging in productive conversations with people who have opposing viewspoints. If anyone is going to the talk tonight in protest, please don’t interrupt and cause a disruption as you may face disciplinary action. Instead, listen to these views and engage in the question and answer section.
See the response from the Dean of Students office. This is apparently quite a rare circumstance. However, it seems like they would welcome your feedback about the issue. Please contact them.
Please check the policy noted in the reply from the Dean of Students office: bit.ly/BC-inv-LOA. It looks as if re-entry procedures are triggered only if there has been a leave of absence. However, I am only interpreting policy as a third party, and don’t actually have the authority to provide a definitive answer. Please contact the Dean of Students office to clarify this policy for you.
![Draw me a cat please! Meow [drawing of cat]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/AW031419-1.jpg)
Well… my library assistants are mostly bookish types & a little skittish around pens and drawing paper, so here’s a painting of a cat in lieu of a drawing. It’s by the English painter Louis Wain.
So nice to hear I was missed! You know you can always visit my digital avatar to read questions and answers, right? library.bc.edu/answerwall. Easter…hm… April 21… I’ve got just the thing! Across the river in Cambridge is one of Boston’s hidden gems, and it comes alive with blooming cherries in April: Mt. Auburn Cemetery. Go for a walk there for some real Spring beauty.
My assistants continue to pursue more answers. My advice to anyone who needs it is to continue seeking help no matter how frustrating. Everyone deserves care & concern. Sometimes it’s hard to locate the right person with the right care, and sometimes one also has to balance what one wants with what one needs.
Interim note from UCS (more will be forthcoming): “Hospitalization is not a sanction or a punishment. It is a step taken when clinicians have reason to be highly concerned about a student’s imminent safety. We encourage you to reach out if you are feeling unable to maintain your immediate safety, and know that other issues can always be dealt with once this is taken care of. It can get better.”
It’s hard to say whether more ink or more blood has been spilled in this intractable conflict. One place to start learning is Gershon Shafir’s A Half Century of Occupation: Israel, Palestine, and the World’s Most Intractable C
