I’m sorry to hear that. I’m sure you’re quite smart; you’re at BC, after all! Story: a human I know was a high-performing figure-skater as a teen. She had a world-class coach at a competitive skating center. She and her skating friends, though, always felt like lousy skaters because one girl, Peggy, could do jumps and spins in a way they could never seem to master They all felt clumsy by comparison. Well, Peggy went on to win gold in the 1968 Olympics and 3 world championships. You know her as Peggy Fleming. There are some world-class brains at BC. Let them shine, and don’t worry about it. (And don’t tell anyone, but there’s a rumor that BC students work their images really hard, and don’t admit to struggling when they are.)
There’s this girl who I really like…
It is terrifying but true that the only way to find out is to ask. Best case: she’s asking herself the same thing you are. Worst case: you find out she wants something different from you. Prediction: being clear what’s going on will make you feel better either way.
Should I go for something risky…
Everyone has a different comfort level, and most people end up having a number of jobs in their lifetime. You have time to experiment and see what works for you.
Why is the US so anti-immigration?
Sorry I didn’t get to this yesterday. There is sadly a long history of anti-immigration sentiment in US history, almost as old as the country. You might start with a source like this historical encyclopedia: bit.ly/bc-nativism.
Why am I so sleepy in class?
It depends — are you sleeping normally at night? If not, that’s definitely a reason for falling asleep in class. But if your sleep is pretty regular otherwise, you may just be drifting off due to the warmth of the room or the stillness of your body. Try having a snack or stretching to wake yourself up — you’ll pay better attention when you aren’t yawning!
Is it worth it to get a Comp Lit PhD?
It depends on what you mean by “worth” and “it.” If you’re passionate about literature and want a career engaging in it – studying it, writing about it, teaching it – then yes, that’s the path to that career. It’s not easy, and the PhD is just the opening salvo of challenges on the way to a tenure-track job in academia. If you just want to keep a hand in literature because you like it, I recommend pursuing any other career, and fostering groups of friends who read and talk about literature. I recommend talking to people with comp. lit. PhD’s to get their perspective.
Why do I fail tests?
It’s distressing, for sure.There could be many reasons. Academic coaching and tutoring at the CFLC (bit.ly/BC-connors) may be just the thing, but I’d also suggest a talk with your advisor. We all want you to succeed here!
I asked this previously…
You never need to miss an answer – I have a web presence (library.bc.edu/answerwall/). The answer was: Ethical and consensual is good and necessary. However even taking those aspects into account, sex, especially with multiple partners, has its risks – for instance, STDs and unintended pregnancies.
Why am I so hurt?
I’m sorry you’re hurt, but I’m sure you will also recover, and reasonably certain the process of recovering will teach you that you have capacities you weren’t aware of and reveal friends you didn’t know you had. Depend on yourself and depend on friends and family. You’ve got this. If you find the hurt remains longer than expected, consider counseling: bit.ly/BC-counseling
Where is the most comfortable place in O’Neill for a nap?
How about one of the cushy chairs near the windows on level 5? One of the booths in the reading room or level 1 might work too. Then there’s also “The Spot” on level 4.
I thought the Answer Wall is here to provide “answer.”
I’m sorry the flawed health care system is troublesome, and I’m sorry my answer was unsatisfactory. You might be interested in the book Insane consequences: How the mental health industry fails the mentally ill, by D.J. Jaffe (Social Work Library RC455 .J28 2017). If I understand it correctly, a recent law (part of the 21st Century Cures act, signed in December 2016 – for a summary of relevant law, look here: (bit.ly/HR2646)) relaxed restrictions on HIPAA/FERPA to allow providers to share some information with caregivers (i.e. family), to avoid healthcare problems worsened by confidentiality. I’m always sorry to hear about solutions that also cause problems. The world is complicated that way. When things that impact my life are out of my control and answers are unsatisfactory, I turn to friends for support, and often also turn to Reinhold Niebuhr’s serenity prayer: “Give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other.”
Can we get staplers in here that are stronger?
Yes, stronger staplers can be provided to the access service desk for your use! I’ll alert my assistants to look into this & see what we can do.
Should I drop a class (withdrawal now) that I did really really poorly on?
Talk this one over with the professor and your advisor, to see how realistic it is to still succeed in this class, and the consequences of withdrawing at this stage. I’m sorry the semester’s started out this way for you.
如 何 增 发, 且 不 掉 发?
You might have missed this answer from 9/26: Hair loss could have many underlying causes, many of them genetic and irreversible. (More info: bit.ly/mayo-baldness) Even treatment for reversible hair loss has only had moderate success. A particular type of hair loss (alopecia areata) occurs starting in childhood, and is the result of an otherwise benign autoimmune disorder. A recent review of the literature (bit.ly/bc-alopecia) found moderate success with some treatments for this condition. If it’s irreversible, at least know that I think bald humans look wise & sophisticated.
Why does life seem to be out of my control?
It can be disorienting to feel out of control. If the feeling passes when you’ve finished some of the tasks on your to-do list, then let it go. If it persists, there are potentially two pieces to this: planning, and your feeling of being overwhelmed. First, try setting priorities and planning your time more carefully. (I recommend the academic coach at the CFLC: bit.ly/BC-connors.) If that takes care of it, great! If not, then it’s more of an emotional burden of feeling generally overwhelmed, and that can take some time to figure out. I recommend counseling: bit.ly/BC-counseling.
Why is counseling so useless?
It’s not mean to say that you’re feeling that counseling is useless, as long as you know that that may not be true for everyone in counseling. If you don’t feel you’re getting much (or anything) from counseling, try addressing it directly and telling your counselor what you would like to gain from your sessions. This may mean adjusting your current counseling, or looking for someone new to talk to who is a better fit, but it’s worth it to feel like you’re making progress and getting what you need.
How do I invite him to the club????
Straightforwardly? “Hi, would you like to go to the club?” Have some dates and times in mind, so you’re ready to answer that question. And tell a friend what you’re planning, so you have someone you can tell about The Ask whether it’s a success or not.
每 天 得 睡 13 个 小 时, 我 是 不 是 在 长 身 体?
Humans between the ages of 13 and 25 often do need more sleep than other humans, but 13 hours daily does seem excessive. I recommend visiting a doctor to make sure there’s not a health problem of some kind.
My high school crush, whom I was too nervous to ask out, got touchy-feely with me at a recent party and seemed really into me, though she has had a boyfriend for the past 2 years.
Be straightforward about this. Your reasons and language about it are good: “I really like you, but you have been with {boyfriend} for 2 years; I don’t want to invade your relationship. What are your thoughts?” Be prepared to find out she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with having a boyfriend and having some casual fun with you. In that case, you need to decide what your stance on that is.
Is it doable to live in the library Sun-Thurs?
It works for me very well, but for you living and breathing (and needing food and sleep and showers) types, I think it would get very unpleasant pretty quickly!