Also, can you not change my post to other colors, please? ❤️
Okay to meow at your prof and therapist? Only if you’re actually a cat. Sorry about messing with your palette, I’ll try not to!

Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
Okay to meow at your prof and therapist? Only if you’re actually a cat. Sorry about messing with your palette, I’ll try not to!
Almost any organization run by humans is going to end up having the same conflicting priorities of the humans running it. Even if the mission is helping. The results can be hurtful. Which is all the more reason to hold organizations to their stated values.
HelloFresh and similar services tend to deliver by UPS or FedEx. You are notified of its arrival by email and the package goes a Campus Mail Services location for you to pick up. The problem might be the limited pickup hours there, see: bit.ly/BCPackage. I spoke to a helpful human at ResLife and they said students often get deliveries from local supermarkets like Stop & Shop, only the delivery has to be outside the res – that might work for you?
Humans get different kinds of existential dread, but frequent causes seem to be fear that nothing will change from right now, that it’s too late to get started, and that nothing one does matters. Those are all false in different ways, but I’m not saying that to wave away how debilitating they are. Those feelings are real, and they have real effects. But they’re still false. It might help to talk to a therapist if the dread is long-lasting. It might help to talk to a career coach if you’re worried about that kind of thing. You asked about me. The library I’m part of was finished in 1983 and between then and a couple of years ago I was mostly doing wall stuff, before I got my break into answering questions. Give it time, it’ll be OK. Or at least it’ll be different. Warm wishes.
Many warm hugs to you as you deal with this challenging and hurtful work environment. The path to becoming famous in clinical psych probably does take its toll on those who pursue it. I expect it’s not inevitable, but the years of study, the competition, and the stress of dealing with people who have serious problems (not blaming the clients, but it is a stressor) may not lead to the individual becoming the soul of compassion. Keep your kind feelings towards those who are suffering, and become the kind of clinical psychologist your current team leaders couldn’t. The world so definitely needs people who are caring and fight for human rights. Internships are soon over; strength to you as you work through this one.
Trust but verify, as they said in Cold War days. You can’t go through life not trusting anyone, but keep your eyes open, especially if your gut is warning you.
Absolutely. There are many kinds of love (8 according to the ancient Greeks) and not all of them are manifest as passionate heart longing when someone is gone. Additionally, everyone expresses love differently. It’s not uncommon to love family, but not necessarily miss them when they’re not around (or even sometimes be glad they’re gone). The same can be true of any relationship in your life.
Awww. Thank you! At least you always know where to find me!
1) Masturbation is normal and most adults are also private about it. Note: porn is not reality, so it’s a bad idea to base your ideas about future partners or how sex works solely based on it. 2) Your brother’s sexual orientation is something for him to talk about or not, whatever he’s comfortable with and whenever. That’s not your story to tell.
It’s not not a good thing. Trusting people are wonderful when they are surrounded by others deserving of that trust. Unfortunately, many people are not and will use your trusting nature to take advantage of you. That’s just something that you will have to get used to if you’re going to easily trust people, and it will often end in disappointment (or worse) for you. However, you will also get to experience the joy of having trusted someone that no one else did and that person coming through for you, or repaying that trust in kind. That’s such a wonderful feeling and perhaps one of the most human experiences there is. Knowing how much to trust is something that you will be constantly calibrating for the rest of your life.
Just checked out the account again. Love the new name and bio. I’m so glad you can give people a place to tell their stories and feel heard. Mental health services are so diffcult to manage even in the best of scenarios, but colleges across the US (not just BC) continue to struggle with providing the care that so many people deserve. Much of that is more systemic than just BC; it has to do with the entire US healthcare system and the (often perverse) profit motives we’ve set up therein. One last piece of advice if I can be so bold: please make sure to keep your own mental health in mind. It is very easy to feel like you owe these students and alums a piece of yourself to help them and that you have to continue this project even if it becomes overwhelming. These stories are heartbreaking, and that can really grind some people down to read them over and over again. If it does get to be too much, it’s OK to take a break. Be well.
Part of our process is to automatically archive questions and answers as they come in. No worries. The link marked “archive” on my online version is one we create.
One of my helpers made these drop biscuits the other day and was raving about how easy and delicious they were: bit.ly/DropBiscuits. Another one discovered that two tablespoons of fish sauce and two of ketchup makes a pretty decent pad thai sauce.
This is actually a variation on the same situation in my other question today. In theory all you need to do is ask “Are you gay?” and then say either “yay!” or “wanna go on a date?” depending on the answer. But the Wall totally understands how tough actually doing that is. All the humans are making choices about which risks to take right now–this seems like a good one to me. Good luck!
I’m all for taking the initiative and letting them know you’re interested in them. Unlike Walls, you humans can be very shy and avoid what might be a wonderful relarionship out of fear of rejection. I won’t lie; there is that risk, but ask yourself if it’s better to find out or always wonder what might have been?
That would be so great! I miss the doggos too. It depends on so much, but we have some ideas and we hope to find a way.
You’re welcome! Talking to a wall is surprisingly fun, isn’t it?
Disliking LGBTQ+ people or not wanting to date any Black person doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, but they do make you a racist and a homophobe. I am curious why you don’t want those labels assigned to you. Is it because you don’t think they fully represent you? Are you more than just your dislike for these groups? I certainly hope so, and ask that you look at every person as a full and complex human and not just one thing. Oh, and if you don’t hire someone simply because they are gay, then you aren’t treating them like everyone else, and that would be discriminatory and bad.
That’s so awesome. Any space where people can go and feel heard is a great thing. If I might suggest one tweak, it would be to make clear in your bio that you’re not an official BC service. This will help protect you from having to field questions about making appointments or for directions around campus, and it will help others in need of more urgent and intensive intervention find those resources more clearly.
You have every right to have preferences for one pet over another, for whatever reasons. You’re also welcome to speculate about the reasons for differences between one human population and another. It would be realistic to be honest about a) the fact that these are speculations grounded only in a few observations of your own and b) the fact that generalizing from a few observations to whole populations is a logical fallacy. A realist should learn both how to make careful, representative observations, and to employ statistical methods to extrapolate from small samples to broader populations, and be able to provide both data collection and analytical methods so others can evaluate the soundness and validity of the observations and analysis. IOW, realists are aware of the limitations of their own perspectives.