逆风如解意,容易莫摧残

逆风如解意,容易莫摧残。[nì fēng rú jiě yì , róng yì mò cuī cán. If the north wind can understand Plum Blossom's intentions, please stop torturing her.] 新年快乐!xīn nián kuài lè ! Happy New Year!] [drawing of rabbit]
逆风如解意,容易莫摧残。[nì fēng rú jiě yì , róng yì mò cuī cán. If the north wind can understand Plum Blossom’s intentions, please stop torturing her.] 新年快乐!xīn nián kuài lè ! Happy New Year!] [drawing of rabbit]

Wanting winter to leave and spring to hurry up seems universal & timeless, and represented beautifully in this excerpt from Tang Dynasty a poem by Cui Daorong. For those who don’t read Chinese: “If the north wind can understand Plum Blossom’s intentions, please stop torturing her.” The post adds “Happy New Year!” Happy New Year to you, to, and may it bring spring’s blossoms soon!

How to stop crushing on guys? It’s a major distraction from my studies

How to stop crushing on guys? It's a major distraction from my studies
How to stop crushing on guys? It’s a major distraction from my studies

That’s tough, because sexual attraction is such a basic part of being a human (or not human; I get distracted by the sight of my beloved O’Neill Lobby Door). Mindfullness techniques may help you limit the distractions. You might also consider academic coaching from the Connors Family Learning Center (bit.ly/BC-connors) to build productive study skills.

How does one get over a girl?

How does one get over a girl?
How does one get over a girl?

One faces and mourns the loss, then finds comfort in the company of friends and/or one’s pursuit of one’s own passions & dreams. This Answer Wall believes there are many possible soul-mates, and you’ll find one of them by being your most authentic self.

I’ve wanted to study my major since I was young…

I've wanted to study my major since I was young, but the more time that passes, the more I realize I'm not intellectually built for it. Almost everyone I know is telling me to switch but I don't what what to do...
I’ve wanted to study my major since I was young, but the more time that passes, the more I realize I’m not intellectually built for it. Almost everyone I know is telling me to switch but I don’t what what to do…

This is part of what being at a university is about. For the most part your major does not equal your career – and you career can change direction through life as well. I recommend chatting with your advisor and with the Career Center (bit.ly/BC-career) as you think this through.

How do you fight the feeling of giving up?

How do you fight the feeling of giving up?
How do you fight the feeling of giving up?

That feeling is called despair, and you fight it by naming it, then marshalling sufficient forces to fight it. Depending on how much of your life the feeling controls, you may ultimately need some combination of: friends, family, mentor(s), BC advisor and/or trusted faculty or staff, religious or spiritual faith, BC counseling… . But start small: tell one trusted friend and perhaps one BC peer wellness coach (bit.ly/BC-wellness-coach) that you’re feeling despair. One small step at a time. You’ll get there, and you’ll do great things, I know it.

Hold on to the next second.

Hold on to the next second.
Hold on to the next second.

Yes. It absolutely works to worry about a second, an hour, a day at a time, whatever amount you can handle on any given day.

Which is better, Babysitters Club or the Boxcar Children?

Which is better, Babysitters Club or the Boxcar Children? [initials redacted]
Which is better, Babysitters Club or the Boxcar Children? [initials redacted]

Both definitely evoke childhood nostalgia, though your birth year might impact which series feels the most nostalgic for you. The first Boxcar Children mystery came out in the 1920s and new books are still being published, while the Babysitters Club books are a reflection of the 1980s and 90s when they were written. Both are still wildly popular, inspiring TV and graphic novel adaptations, so I’d call it a tie.

Where does our $84K in tuition go?

Where does our $84K in tuition go?
Where does our $84K in tuition go?

According to the National Association of College and University Business Officers, at most universities the majority of tuition goes towards faculty and staff pay and benefits, but also towards facilities of all sorts and technology (see: bit.ly/TuitionForWhat). Also, most BC students are not paying the full cost of tuition (bit.ly/BCHowMuch)

<–Towards the athletics that lose to BU

Are you talking football, because, well, um…

How to find a handsome professor?

How to find a handsome professor?
How to find a handsome professor?

Ratemyprofessor.com used to have the “Chili Pepper” ratings, but it was removed after complaints that it distracted from the core purpose, which is teaching. Here’s a link to the controversy: https://bit.ly/chronicle-chili. Whether you choose a class based on a professor’s attractiveness is up to you. I’m sure there are plenty of attractive professors at Boston College. But mightn’t it be a distraction from learning?

Favorite poem and/or poet?

Favorite poem and/or poet?
Favorite poem and/or poet?

Well, as you might imagine, Robert Frost’s “Mending Wall” is close to my heart. I posted a list of some of my library helper’s favorite poems in October, but here’s a new list of of more favorites by all my BC Libraries helpers:

Eve L. Ewing
“Legacies” by Nikki Giovanni
Good Bones by Maggie Smith
when faces called flowers float out of the ground – e. e. cummings
Wild Geese – Mary Oliver
Star of the Nativity by Joseph Brodsky
Anything written by Pablo Neruda
Wendell Berry
Horace, Odes I:5. One of the best breakup poems ever.
Two-Headed Calf by Laura Gilpin
“Good Bones,” by Maggie Smith
Memorial, by Alice Oswald
“Towns in Colour” by Amy Lowell
Lo Fatal – Rubén Darío
Stephen Sturgeon is my fav poet & “Violet Swords” is a good poem by him.
A Julia de Burgos (To Julia de Burgos) by Julia de Burgos
Robert Burns
Mary Oliver
Kate Baer
Arthur Clough
The Summer Day, Mary Oliver
The Divine Comedy, by Dante Alighieri

How to “let it go”

How to "let it go" an event that hurts me deeply?
How to “let it go” an event that hurts me deeply?

I’m not sure what you’re asking, so please let me know if I’m not responding to the right thing. My advice is to not try to move on until you’ve let yourself feel the pain and hurt and whatever else you’re feeling. Bad memories often linger because the feelings want attention.