Am I a bad person if I take the elevator up 1 floor? what is the minimum requirement to be able to take the elevator?

Am I a bad person if I take the elevator up 1 floor? what is the minimum requirement to be able to take the elevator?
Am I a bad person if I take the elevator up 1 floor? what is the minimum requirement to be able to take the elevator?

No, you’re not a bad person, and there’s no rule saying you can’t take the elevator, but my third cousin, the staircase, tells me he misses you. Taking the stairs is (generally) better for your health and the environment. If it’s really hard to physically go up one flight of stairs, you might want to mention that to your doctor. But who am I to talk – I just stay right here.

What is the strangest compliment you can pay someone?

What is the strangest compliment you can pay someone?
What is the strangest compliment you can pay someone?

Backhanded compliments leave people wondering if they heard a compliment or an insult. Statements like “you’re smarter than you look” or “you’re not so bad once people get to know you” are certainly confusing and strange compliments.

I didn’t get a cookie :(

I didn't get a cookie :(
I didn’t get a cookie 🙁

I’m sorry the cookies went so fast. One of the great things about being an adult (… and not being a wall) is you can generally get yourself a cookie if you really want one, so if you’re feeling cookie-deprivation, why not go visit my friend the vending machine on Level One and treat yourself?

Do twins have telepathy?

Do twins have telepathy? Yes!
Do twins have telepathy? Yes!

Identical twins often seem to know what the other is thinking, but this is more likely due to a deep, shared history with the other. You could try testing for telepathy by asking one twin a question then seeing if the other twin answers correctly. A correct answer might not prove the existence of telepathy, but it would definitely be a cool trick.

What is the record for deepest hole ever dug? Because I think my friend is trying to break it right now.

What is the record for deepest hole ever dug? Because I think my friend is trying to break it right now.
What is the record for deepest hole ever dug? Because I think my friend is trying to break it right now.

The Kola Superdeep Borehole, at 7 1/ miles (!!!) still has the record, as far as I know – see this article on the history of very deep holes: bit.ly/VeryDeepHoles. That’s going to be a challenge for your friend to exceed. If you are not speaking of literal holes, though, perhaps suggest he talk to his advisor or Counseling Services, as appropriate?

Aero-What?

Aero-What?
Aero-What?

Well, there’s the slightly bizarre bubbly chocolate; a much un-beloved former Microsoft design language, and then there’s Aerosmith, which would be my choice, because I don’t want to miss a thing….