Category: Random

Come out when it’s the right time for you and you are ready, but know that your Mom might decide to raise the issue. Or she might wait for you to take the lead on it, even if she knows. Figure out in advance what you might say if she asks you, either directly or obliquely. If you want someone to talk to, you can contact Caroline Davis (caroline.davis.2@bc.edu, 617-552-3470) at the Office of Student Outreach and Support Services.

I am attracted to female, but not sexually. I am confused.

Sexuality, attraction, and dating are confusing issues, especially at this point in your life. The Office of Student Outreach and Support Services has great resources that you may find useful (bit.ly/LBGTQBC), I just had a nice chat with them, because I wasn’t sure what was available during shutdown, and they advise either calling 617-552-3470 and asking for Caroline Davis or emailing her at caroline.davis.2@bc.edu.

Also, don’t you think sending BCPD after students in distress can be traumatizing? Isn’t it hypocritical to teach its students to care for the poor, suffering, and oppressed while simultaneously criminalize those who speak up against the injustice? And how do you expect students who suffer to ask for help when the institution uses BCPD against them at the very first place?

That’s a lot of questions and concerns all at once, all of which would require separate lines of inquiry. But the shared theme is an ethical question: should an organization whose principal purpose is enforcement of laws and rules, and whose primary means of enforcement is threat of detainment or arrest, also be tasked with roles better suited to organizations primarily concerned with health and social welfare?

I’m really sorry that’s happening. I recommend bringing your concerns to the Office of Student Outreach & Support (bit.ly/bc-stu-support). They can help you strategize (which may also involve bringing the concern to other campus offices) and can bring the complaint to BCPD.

? Awwwwww, back atcha! ?

The one in China has a solid PR department and we’re friends, but here are a few of my other old world favorites. The Ishtar Gate of Babylon is really stylish. https://bit.ly/bc-gate. The Theodosian Walls of Constantinople are over 1700 years old. Hope I look that good at that age. https://bit.ly/bc-byz

I’m worried about being caught up in the depressive atmosphere and the conflicts at home…… I really function better on BC campus, when it feels safe (most of the time) and stable. How do I make sure that I keep up with my work and maintain high functioning over the summer? I feel like I finally reach a better place over the school year, how do I help myself not to fall back into the cycle?

At least for the time being, counseling offices are maintaining telehealth. I recommend conferring with them: bit.ly/BC-counseling. I have little experience with this issue, myself, as walls don’t tend to move from one locale to another very often. Perhaps one solution is simply to get out of the walls that enclose family at least for doing schoolwork: going to a supportive friend’s or relative’s house, or perhaps spending a lot of time in cafes, parks, or libraries.

Added 6/16/20: Being the dense wall that I am, I neglected to add that any visits you make should be done with social-distancing in mind: masks on everyone, 6 feet of distance, and outdoors. I’ve heard of many very pleasant (and safe!) outdoor physically-distanced meetups. I hope cafe’s in your area have outdoors seating. And silly me for mentioning libraries! Few are open yet, and spending time indoors with many strangers would be unwise.

I know this is an odd thing but I must ask. I really like this concept and I just found out about it online. Sadly, I am nowhere near Boston. How do I make something like this in my hometown? Also, you should keep an easy to access online wall even after the pandemic.

I’m planning to keep my online presence – I’ve found discovering the Internet to be very exciting. Not that I don’t love my little post-its as well, of course. As for starting a version of…. me… in your hometown, that sounds like a wonderful idea. We use Padlet (padlet.com) for hosting the questions. You’ll need to have some outreach to bring questions to your site, so you might want to partner with a local library or other group to host it. And don’t forget, you’ll need some helpers to do some of the research. Check in and let me know how it goes!

There’s no date set for reopening yet, but we’ll get the word out as soon as it is determined. Meanwhile, the library is working hard to keep our collections and services available in new and creative ways while our spaces are unavailable. See bit.ly/BCLC19Updatesfor updates and details.

I don’t know. It’s on July 16. He’ll be 72 this year. I’m sure if you send him a card, one of the things he’ll do is read it. Valentine’s Day is not currently recognized other than in some local traditions in the Roman Catholic Church, so it’s quite likely Father Leahy does nothing special to observe St. Valentine on February 14.

I guess we need his address to send him a card, right? Is the address listed on the university contact his real address?

Yes, he will receive mail sent to that address.

If there’s an award for the most compassionate wall, I’m sure you’d get the award! Though there’s no perfect answer for many things.

Thank you so much! That is the sort of Wall I aspire to be. I don’t know if I can be wise intentionally, but I am thinking of a story about an exchange between a Buddhist monk and his teacher. Perhaps there is something there you can make sense of. https://bit.ly/bc-bowl

That’s so sad! ????? Also, the stay-at-home and self-quarantine thing feels really different when you perceive more distress at home or have to quarantine alone w/o human contacts. E.g. you have no one to hug for a long long long time, which can negatively affect your mental health and immune system!

I’m sorry you’re lonely. Focus on how temporary it is, and keep in touch with people as much as you can through phone or video calls. It’s not a sufficient replacement for in-person contact, but can suffice for short periods. As to how long (and how much) social distancing will be necessary… it’s hard to say. As to high fives and hugs & shoulders, start thinking about a “quaranteam,” a social bubble where you can have some contact: bit.ly/mit-quaranteam.

Btw, is that route really more efficient than flying along the latitude?

Maps are hard, because they’re trying to represent something round as something flat. The shortest distance between two points on a sphere looks like a curve on a flat map. Ship and plane navigators call this the Great Circle Route. Here’s one way to visualize it: https://bit.ly/bc-gcr. Here’s another: https://bit.ly/bc-gcr2 (BTW from 36,000 feet, you’d need eagle-eyes to spot a white polar bear on snow.)

What should I do if at the same time I’m scared of BC because of the scary police. Why is life so hard? Also, don’t you think that’s ironic that the students can feel so afraid of the support and police on campus that they would not go for help even when things happen on campus or that others inappropriately treat them? Don’t you see how this keep confirming her fear that the world is somehow unsafe and beyond help?

? Sigh… Life is hard sometimes, I know. And it’s harder for some than for others. But life can also bring solace and joys that make getting through the rough patches worthwhile. All I can say is that one thing is under your control: believing in your own strength and resilience. I believe in you, and I hope that helps you believe in yourself.

Thanks for asking! My Mom is a sea wall up on the North Shore. She got to spend Mother’s Day at the beach and I’m happy for her, but like so many of us I do miss her so.

Therapists and patients aren’t ethically allowed to have close personal relationships with each other, to prevent therapists from abusing or taking advantage of their patients.

Française, entangling, or of convenience?