How to deal with intense stress caused by ppl around you?
It sounds like you know what the cause of this intense stress is. Try to reduce the amount of contact you have with people who stress you out. If you need space for yourself, try to find a place that is comfortable and peaceful; a space were you can relax, reflect, rest, or study for as long as you want or need to. The libraries have plenty of spaces that are conducive to relaxation, study or reflexion. My favorite is the area located at the 4th floor’s north end, where the soft chairs are. You ought to try it!
What do you do when your friend group got too much DRAMA
Groups of friends can be volatile sometimes. If you all have a commitment to sticking together, those can be times of growth. Sadly, they can also be times of rupture. You could let your friends know you want to help people build bridges, but you need a break of, say, a day or a week to regain equilibrium & perspective, then you’ll be ready to come back and help.
Know of any sources/chats to get into contact with other BC students who are looking for off-campus housing? I have a group of 4 friends selected for next year but I am studying abroad my spring semester next year. I’m looking for someone to replace me, yet I don’t know where to look!
ResLife has a database for that! bit.ly/BCNeedRoomie and click on “search for roommates.”
It is human nature to fixate on negative feedback, but the Wall knows two things. 1) You’re great! 2) There are lots of possible someones for everyone. Keep seeking and you will find.
I’m so sad. My girlfriend have a girlfriend. That’s too bad.
? Mourn the loss of the relationship, and give yourself a little time before starting another. Meanwhile, I hope you’ve got some friends with whom you can talk about it.
It depends on why your girlfriend is unhappy. If you’re worried about her, you could try asking about it, and whether there’s anything you can do to help. But pay attention to the response you get, because your help might not be what’s needed. Also take a moment to think about your motivation: are you asking because your girlfriend being happier would make you more comfortable? If it’s actually about how you feel rather than how she feels, that’s a totally different conversation and you should have them separately.
Do you think that ethical, consensual, nonmonogamous sex could be considered a problem?
I think it would depend on who you asked. My helpers have a variety of opinions about that issue. Consensual and ethical are minimums, it’s the non-monogamy that gets complicated when you move from theory to relating to real human beings. (BTW, I answered this very question on 10/2 and 10/8. You can always visit my blog to see questions you might have missed in their physical manifestation right here: library.bc.edu/answerwall.)
My roommate is easy to be annoyed by very little things and she doesn’t care others. She has a ist of people to hate and recently I found I am on the list. I also found that she cheated me on purpose. I thought everyone is nice before I came to BC but it is not.
🙁 I’m really sorry to hear that. People can be very mean. If the situation is really as bad as it seems, I might recommend avoiding this person or looking into a room transfer. Perhaps reach out to your RA or Residential Life directly (bit.ly/res-life). Unfortunately, there are many not-nice people in the world.
Time will take care of the healing, but that doesn’t help you right now. In the immediate term, if you see your ex all over the place, perhaps try to vary your routes and normal hangouts to avoid them. Pick up new hobbies or clubs to keep your mind occupied. You’ll meet new people through these and find yourself thinking about your ex less and less. If they’re in your classes, all I can recommend is changing up your seat to sit far away from them. I believe in you!
怎 么 追 到 女 朋 友 zěn mo zhuī dào nǚ péng yǒu (How to get a girl to go out with me)
Wooing a woman is a lot like making a friend. Start small. Invite her to an event with a group. If that goes well, invite her to get coffee or ice cream with you. If that goes well, try a cultural event like a concert or film or lecture, which involves finding out about her interests. The BC events calendar can be useful: events.bc.edu. And so on… Sometimes it’s as simple as hanging out or going for a walk. Be honest & respectful, and have fun.
逻 辑 有 问 题！如 果已 经 是 你 有 女 朋 友 了, 就 不 需 要 追了！luó ji yǒu wèn tí ! rú guǒ yǐ jīng shì nǐ yǒu nǚ péng yǒu le, jiù bù xū yào zhuī le! (You made a logical mistake! If you already have a girlfriend, you don’t need to pursue/chase a girlfriend!) Logical paradox
Ah, good point. This writer should be asking how to woo a 女孩 (girl). If he’s looking for a 女朋友 (girlfriend), that could imply she’s already a girlfriend of someone else! (I supposed he meant he was looking for his future-girlfriend, but that might sound as if he’s going to undertake time-travel.)
Straightforwardly? “Hi, would you like to go to the club?” Have some dates and times in mind, so you’re ready to answer that question. And tell a friend what you’re planning, so you have someone you can tell about The Ask whether it’s a success or not.
My high school crush, whom I was too nervous to ask out, got touchy-feely with me at a recent party and seemed really into me, though she has had a boyfriend for the past 2 years. What should I do? I don’t want to invade on her relationship, but I still really like her.
Be straightforward about this. Your reasons and language about it are good: “I really like you, but you have been with {boyfriend} for 2 years; I don’t want to invade your relationship. What are your thoughts?” Be prepared to find out she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with having a boyfriend and having some casual fun with you. In that case, you need to decide what your stance on that is.
The rightness of Mr. Right (your compatibility) is far more important than his richness. (If you marry for money, you earn every cent, as they say.) Just be your honest self and keep making friends, and Mr. Right will turn up. I know folks who didn’t marry until their 30’s, and they’re some of the happiest folks I know.
How to walk out of a broken relationship? I just broke up with my boyfriend. ?
That can hurt a lot, even if you’re doing the breaking up. Everybody handles that differently, but general advice is to take extra good care of yourself for a while: good food, good sleep, whatever else makes you feel taken care of. Maybe resist the urge to do a rebound relationship for a bit, unless that’s what you need. Give yourself some time to be sad, or angry, or to feel any other way you do. No really wrong answers here, and none that don’t at least sorta suck. Be well, I’ll be here.
I’ve met my share of dumb boys, girls, walls, floors, ceilings… Sounds like you’ve had a frustrating experience with a male human, or perhaps several. It’s certainly true that research points to some men not being socialized to value emotional intelligence as highly as some women. Is that what you’re talking about? You might be interested in the book Why Smart People Can Be So Stupid, by Robert Sternberg (O’Neill Library BF431 .W535 2002).
No matter how much you still love her, I bet there are lots of reasons why you aren’t together any more. Don’t be afraid to feel your feelings, but gently remind yourself each time of all the other things that got in the way of your relationship. It will take time, but the love and the hurt will both dull and eventually go away.
Make a list of her likes and hobbies. Try to come up with a couple of items or experiences that line up with each of those, then narrow it down to one thing that fits your budget and the occasion. Don’t forget to wrap it and while a card isn’t completely necessary, I bet she’d like one. Keep adding to the list as stuff comes up throughout the year, so you’re prepared for the gift-giving holidays to come!
![爱你! ài nǐ! [Love you!]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/20191028_051024_2.jpg)
![我 也 爱你 wǒ yě ài nǐ ! [I love you too!]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/20191028_051032_2.jpg)
