Relationships – Page 21 – The Answer Wall

January 16, 2018January 16, 2018

New Year’s resolution: getting to know cool peeps without the pressure/indoctrination to date person – or learning how to navigate that more maturely!

It’s a really good idea to be open to a broad array of relationships: there are many kinds of love other than romantic. I’ve never really understood the phrase “just friends.” Friends are the ones who have your back for years, perhaps even a lifetime, while most romances, though intense, are temporary. The Greeks counted many types of love: friendship, empathic, erotic, and universal are the ones C.S. Lewis wrote about in The Four Loves. (O’Neill call number BV4639 .L45 1988). A Psychology Today article lists 7: bit.ly/7-types-of-love. May you learn to find the love you need.

January 5, 2018January 10, 2018

New Year’s resolution: less screen time, more aware of reality and being in place, reacting to other living humans

I bet that will make you both happier and more productive – great resolution. You could start small, maybe no screens at meals or for a set period each day, and see how that works for you. I hope you will enjoy living outside of the Internet!

January 3, 2018January 10, 2018

New Year’s resolution: Spend more time with friends from work and be nicer

Spending more time with friends, whether from work or elsewhere, is always a good idea for humans & Walls. I like to spend time with my friend Express Yo’Self (bit.ly/express-yoself) through facetime. Being nicer is always better than being meaner. Just ask Monte Irvin: Nice Guys Finish First. (O’Neill Library call number: GV865.I78 A3x 1996)

January 3, 2018January 10, 2018

New Year’s resolution: Being more present with the ones I love

What a laudable goal! One path is to figure out what’s getting in the way of presence: work, social media, conflict avoidance, fear of intimacy, or just a habit of not being present. It’s also worthwhile just asking the ones you love what’s on their minds, or complimenting them. Sometimes, for instance, I take my friend the 3rd Floor for granted, but I should be more present. Floor, I love the way you withstand thousands of footsteps daily without complaint. Thich Nhat Hanh wrote a good book about mindfulness and love: Teachings on Love. (O’Neill Library, Call number: BQ4360 .N4713 1998)