Will long distance last?

Will long distance last?
Will long distance last?

Maybe. There are certainly couples that do make it work. But it takes work and commitment from both sides. I recommend setting up regular video chat dates so that you can see each other. Seeing a loved one’s facial expressions or the way the laugh is a lot more powerful than just hearing them talk. And have these dates regularly. So regularly that they get boring because you have nothing to talk about. That’s what an in-person relationship is like at times. It’s not always an exciting day.

What is being done negotiating the hookup culture on campus?

What is being done negotiating the hookup culture on campus?
What is being done negotiating the hookup culture on campus?

It’s not an easy problem to solve, but there are ongoong efforts here. Faculty both teach classes relevant to changing hookup culture (e.g. Kerry Cronin’s class Dating Project), and conduct research on the subject. The BC Women’s Center holds a “ResTalk” program called “Undressing the Hookup Culture” (see bit.ly/HookupResTalk).

 

Why do men cheat? :(

Why do men cheat? :( </3
Why do men cheat? 🙁 </3

I am so sorry about your poor broken heart. I can say with assurance you deserve better. If you want to read about it, you’ll find a lot of infidelity going on in the stacks in the HQ 806 area. I prefer the answer Olympia Dukakis’ character gave in the marvelous 1987 film Moonstruck, “They fear death”. The film is available at the Circulation desk (call number PN1997 .M652 2006), and is as good as any for when you’re feeling sad.

Dear Wall, I’m the girl who’s discussed by my gf as being like a 3 yr old kid. ->quick response. I think this is just a form of atta-chment behaviour. no need for her to act like my mom. Thx for your response though.

Dear Wall, I'm the girl who's discussed by my gf as being like a yr old kid. ->quick response. I think this is just a form of atta-chment behaviour. no need for her to act like my mom. Thx for your response though.
Dear Wall, I’m the girl who’s discussed by my gf as being like a 3 yr old kid. ->quick response. I think this is just a form of atta-chment behaviour. no need for her to act like my mom. Thx for your response though.

If you know you are the GF in the earlier question, then you and your partner must be discussing the behavior mentioned. I am very relieved to know that you and your GF are being thoughtful and open about how your relationship is going. As long as that is the case, you will need very little advice from me or others.

Perche’ il mio amico Matteo non si fa i cazzi suoi? [Why doesn’t my friend Matteo mind his own business?]

Perche' il mio amico Matteo non si fa i cazzi suoi? [Why doesn’t my friend Matteo mind his own business?]
Perche’ il mio amico Matteo non si fa i cazzi suoi? [Why doesn’t my friend Matteo mind his own business?]

I don’t think I’ve ever met Matteo, so it’s hard to say why he won’t mind his own business. Maybe he’s just more interested in your business than his own? And wouldn’t that be kind of flattering? To a point? It sounds like he crosses a line, though. If he’s interested in everybody’s business (an incurable gossip), I recommend discretion and careful listening. (And *never* reveal his sources, or else the well will dry up.) This eagle understands you, though.

"Bald eagle wondering what this camera is doing up in his business."
“Bald eagle wondering what this camera is doing up in his business.” (from https://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2t3obx/psbattle_bald_eagle_wondering_what_this_camera_is/)

My friend/roomate will never go out w/me and spends all his time in the room. What do I do?

My friend/roomate will never go out w/me and spends all his time in the room. What do I do?
My friend/roomate will never go out w/me and spends all his time in the room. What do I do?

Ask him how he’s doing. If he says he’s fine and he’d really rather just be in the room, that’s up to him. If you want to do something with him, consider doing something together without going out – multiplayer video, board games, cards, stream a film through movies.bc.edu or check out a dvd from the library. If you’re concerned about his well-being, check in with counseling to hear what they recommend: bit.ly/BC-counseling.

Why is my girlfriend acting like a 3 year old sometimes. I am a girl, btw.

Why is my girlfriend acting like a 3 year old sometimes. I am a girl, btw.
Why is my girlfriend acting like a 3 year old sometimes. I am a girl, btw.

Nothing like a tantrum to tell the world how you feel. My mother once made me stand in the corner (no small feat for a wall). Perhaps your GF has had success with childlike behavior and so continues to act that way to get what she wants. Rather than giving in, you might act like a parent and tell her that she won’t get what she wants until she behaves appropriately.

How can I help a close friend if I suspect she has an eating disorder and conversations haven’t gotten through in the past?

How can I help a close friend if I suspect she has an eating disorder and conversations haven't gotten through in the past?
How can I help a close friend if I suspect she has an eating disorder and conversations haven’t gotten through in the past?

So good that she has a friend who cares enough to help with this. I would approach The Office of Health Promotion (bit.ly/BC-health-promo) or possibly Counseling Services (http://bit.ly/BC-counseling) and ask them the best way to talk to your friend about the issue – they have a lot of experience with this.

Long-distance relationship or not?

Long-distance relationship or not?
Long-distance relationship or not?

There’s no right or wrong answer here. If you decide to go ahead with it, there will be lonely times, for sure, but if you feel strongly about the person, it may be worthwhile. Some questions to ask yourself: How much do I want to be in a relationship with this person? Could we find a way to end up living in the same geographic area, and if so, how soon? How willing are we both to give it a try, and end the relationship if long-distance doesn’t work? Best to you, whatever you decide.

What is the real political impact of the stormy “60 min” interview on The presidency of the US? Now what?

What is the real political impact of the stormy "60 minutes" interview on The presidency of the US? Now what?
What is the real political impact of the stormy “60 min” interview on The presidency of the US? Now what?

The Wall has seen lots of Presidents, but can’t think of one with a scandal quite like this…which is not to say presidential sex scandals are new: here’s a history of them from 1789 to 1900. bit.ly/bc-affairs. It’s hard to say how the politics will play out, but the Wall will be watching the defamation lawsuit Daniels has brought very closely.

Will (redcated) and I still be friends 10 years from now? I want her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding

Will (redcated) and I still be friends 10 years from now? I want her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding
Will (redcated) and I still be friends 10 years from now? I want her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding

It does seem likely, if you are that close now. One study (bit.ly/BFFSHow) suggests that apart from inherent personality similarities (which you can’t change much), investing time into the friendship is the most important factor in maintaining it. So, be there for her through the years, and she’s more likely to be there for you, when you say your vows…

How would you define lifelong friends?

How would you define lifelong friends?
How would you define lifelong friends?

Someone that you connect with, who you think you will be friends with forever. Not necessarily someone you see or talk to every day; often someone you may not see all the time, but you just pick up where you left off. Someone who knows you and whom you know and you just accept each other for who you are and make time for each other when you need to. You may have lots of good friends throughout your life but will probably have very few lifelong friends. They are a true gift!

How does love look like?

How does love look like?
How does love look like?

Love is more a feeling than a look. I would say that love differs from attraction because it creates a deep concern for the other person’s happiness over any concern for your own happiness. Attraction can be sudden, but love usually takes time to grow. As to what love looks like, it could be sad when the other is hurting, pride when the other succeeds, and joy when the other cares the same way about you.

Why is my friend [redacted] asking for money in venmo?

Why is my friend [redacted] asking for money in venmo?

Why is my friend [redacted] asking for money in venmo?

That’s a pretty uncomfortable situation! Financial services like Venmo which have a social media aspect, and promote payments between friends, can be such a useful thing when sharing bills, or selling items. But when a friend is asking for money on them, it’s hard to know how to respond. How would you respond if your friend was asking for money in person?

What should I do, my friend is about to start dating a guy we both know is toxic. How much can I do?

What should I do, my friend is about to start dating a guy we both know is toxic. How much can I do?
What should I do, my friend is about to start dating a guy we both know is toxic. How much can I do?

Unfortunately, it is all too common to see a loved one make a romantic choice that you may not agree with. There isn’t a lot you can do in this situation, but my advise is that you continue to be there for your friend. This does not mean you have to lie about how you feel about the guy your friend is dating or spend time with him, but just be there for your friend. Talk about other things and try to spend time together away from the guy they are dating. And, if you think that the guy is toxic in a dangerous way, know that there are support structures available for you on campus, including Counseling Services (bit.ly/BC-counseling).