Category: Relationships

Some women don’t, some men do. Always ask for consent.

Isn’t it wonderful when you have someone like that in your life? Make sure you let her know how much you value her!

Be interested in someone’s story. Ask questions. Be a good listener. Reveal yourself. Suggest an outing. And sometimes go with the flow and let your friend direct the plan. But first check your pulse: are you depleted or overwhelmed? You may not be in a place to be that friend.

Communicate, but don’t suffocate. Give him enough breathing room to miss you, and most importantly enjoy your own semester even though you’ll miss him!

Of course! It’s Fall. But sometimes it’s hard to let go of the fear of failure and rejection, as in the classic Chris Isaak song “Wicked Game”: “No I don’t want to fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart).” Confide in some good friends, and then take the plunge. May you succeed & feel that rush! If your love isn’t requited, well, that’s why you confided in your friends. They’ll be ready with whatever can console you.

It’s as simple as offering it yourself. Or it’s as complicated as all these poems about unrequited love make it: bit.ly/poems-unrequited. May you find the love you need.

Yes. Also, your s/o does not get to tell you how to feel about it, in case that’s relevant.

Probably not, unfortunately. As you may have noticed if you have been around for a while, the Wall has a privacy policy when it comes to identifying anyone who would not be considered a celebrity or public person. That means we would have to cross out/redact any identifying names and pictures. And that would put a definite crimp in a library crush board!

If you are asking about your ability to have sex in the library, I suppose you can (assuming you and your partner are healthy and willing). If you are asking for permission, the answer is no.

In some ways, being with people you care about is harder because you have an expectation that you will agree on most things. When agreement doesn’t happen the conflict is more distressing than when you disagree with someone you don’t care so much about. When you are having a conflict with a friend, remember that it is just a disagreement about one thing. Don’t let the disagreement overshadow the friendship.

If there’s an Answer Wall theme for this month – especially today – it seems to be everyone trying to find their peeps. BC’s a big place, and nothing makes you feel at home like making friends, and, in many cases, connecting with people who share your culture. Maybe check in with L@BC (bit.ly/LatBC)? Say yeah, yeah yeah….

When two people have different experiences, assumptions, and family life, they likely have to work harder to understand each other. Since you asked about studies, here’s a literature review of 50 years of research on interracial marriages: bit.ly/50-years-loving (BC access only). For a more narrative perspective, try the recent film Loving (Law Library feature film collection), about the couple in the landmark Supreme Court case. The advantage of ethnic and SES differences is that you can’t help but recognize & address them; many couples have differences they never acknowledge until it’s too late. In that sense, differences are universal, and you just need to focus on honesty, trust, and compassion.