Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
That is a very tiresome quote, and if I had eyes, I would totally roll them (◔_◔). The truth is, finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is just not easy; I get asked this a lot. You don’t have to wait for a boy to climb any tree – consider taking the initiative if there’s a boy you like.
Hall & Oates, Cherry Garcia, and 5K training with friends.
While your roommate’s sister may be pretty, roommate drama never is. As long as you’re living with this roommate, dating their sister is a risky decision that could lead to some serious roommate OR relationship issues. I’d wait til move out and/or graduation to make your move!
If the desire is mutual and consenting, and no one get hurts (read: current partners)…well…wait, I’m not able to make this decision for you. But I will give you a few things to consider before you decide to take the leap.
<3 Stay strong, we’re thinking of you!
![The guy I fancy has a square head [^.^] I'm worried about what my parents will say!](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/aw040719-10.jpg)
Hey, I’ve got a lot of right angles going on, myself! Square is beautiful. If he’s the guy for you, I hope your folks can only see the joy he brings you, not his head shape. You could start playing an old Huey Lewis and the News tune to subliminally set him up for parental approval…
Totally up to you and what you’re comfortable with. I’d want to have a conversation about safe words and boundaries and make sure everybody is a) comfortable talking about that and b) more or less on the same page. You might find some useful advice in this book: http://bit.ly/bc-ethical
Try making friends first! Get involved with LGBT groups on campus and in the Boston community to broaden your social circle AND your dating pool. LGBT people have historically had fewer opportunities to meet and court, so LGBT groups and bars are a good way to make connections — and find some elders who may have even better advice!
They can, of course… but they shouldn’t. BC policy prohibits it. (http://bit.ly/BCFacConduct)
It may seem counterintuitive, but stop looking for one! Be yourself, pursue your passions, and be the best You that you can be, and you’ll be surprised how quickly a cute guy falls into your lap.
He’s not ready for you, or he’s just not that into you. He may be completely lovely, but I think you can find someone who wants to be with you.
![Text me ;) [redacted phone number]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/aw040219-1-1.jpg)
I love a friendly invitation! But this Wall has a strict rule about sharing personal information. I can’t know whether a phone number is shared in earnest or as a cruel joke, so in an excess of caution, I remove all personally identifying information.
It’s a matter of doing the “work” necessary to keep in touch – and today, it’s easier than ever. Social media can really help you to at least have an idea what they’re up to and where they are. And let them know maintaining the friendship is important to you. Maybe set up a meeting at a not too distant time in the future, for starters?
All desire is on a spectrum. I, for one, am much more interested in architectural details than most. Have you ever closely examined a squinch? There are squinches that have given me chills. But I know they’re not for everybody. Pursue what moves you.
What you’re looking for is how to be more tactful in your communication. And there’s probably a combination of learning how to let some things go without saying anything. Generally speaking, I don’t say anything at all unless someone asks me to. And some of this will just come with time and practice. But, since you’re looking for help today, there are plenty of resources here to help you. I recommend starting with Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition (O’Neill Library: BF637.C45 C78 2012).
Yes. If you need your faith restored, watch Won’t You Be My Neighbor, the film about Fred Rogers. Some men really do try to live values like that. It’s possible that they don’t frequent the events or groups where you’re looking. Get involved in programs or groups that try to live values like those of Mr. Rogers’ (or other men you admire), and you might find some.
It depends on how much rejection you feel you can handle, and also the nature of “he blew me off.” Did it seem like he wanted to get together with you but was actually too busy? Or that he was really not interested? In the latter case, twice seems like you’ve given it a fair try, and I would worry that more than that may come across as annoying or unwanted attention.
Pros: Someone to hang out with, the potential joys of true love and/or physical intimacy, the possibility of meeting someone you’ll want to spend your life with (it sometimes happens here!). Cons: Takes time away from your studies and extra-curriculars, you might find your other friendships suffer if you’re not careful to prioritize them, you run the risk of a broken heart, and if everything goes perfectly – what happens when you graduate?
Hi! Hope this works out! But we’ll never know, because this wall lives and dies by anonymity.
Ask him. Easier said than done, I know. But don’t be afraid to take the risk and be vulnerable with the boy you like!
