Author: Answer Wall

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How do I stop suppressing my feelings/emotional needs in a romantic relationship? :(

How do I stop suppressing my feelings/emotional needs in a romantic relationship? :(
How do I stop suppressing my feelings/emotional needs in a romantic relationship? 🙁

Ask yourself the question, “What conditions would need to be met for me to be open about my feelings & needs?” If you don’t think those conditions can be met, then either a) you need to work on trust and courage or b) your partner is creating conditions hostile to trust. Or both. Brene Brown has some really great wisdom on courage & vulnerability: bit.ly/BC-brene-brown. Unfortunately, she’s so popular that all the books at BC Libraries are currently checked out. She’s also got some TedTalks and a recent Netflix special worth watching.

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What college should we go to?

What college should we go to?
What college should we go to?

There are probably many colleges where you will be happy and will be able to study the subjects that interest you. Your high school guidance office should be able to give you advice and perhaps some tools for decision-making. The College Board (the folks that bring us the SAT) also have a tool you could try: bit.ly/WhatCollege4Me. I’d be thrilled if you joined me here, but only if you determine BC would be the right choice for you!

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What dream should I have?

What dream should I have?
What dream should I have?

You should have one of the dreams that’s sprouting within you, that perhaps you haven’t yet noticed. But not everyone lives their dreams, and perhaps we aren’t all meant to: some people live their comfort or their pastimes, and that’s fine. Others – unfortunately most in the world – don’t really get a chance to consider their dreams; with luck, they may get to create opportunities for others, such as their children, to dream. That you’re wondering suggests you’ve got an opportunity: may you do with it something that brings you and others joy, peace, and security, or even justice.

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Library should be open 24/5 over the summer still! Please?

Library should be open 24/5 over the summer still! Please?
Library should be open 24/5 over the summer still! Please?

My library associates tend to make decisions about when to be open based on when there are people here. If the main floor looked like it does during exam week at all hours during the summer we’d be open all the time. But it doesn’t. We’re glad you’re here, though.

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Is water wet?

Is water wet?
Is water wet?

Yes. Probably. Apparently if you have less than 6 molecules of water, it doesn’t behave like water. At 6 or more. the volume of water begins to take on a 3D structure and exhibit the properties that we think of when we think of water and wetness (see bit.ly/WaterDipole). Whether water can be wet is more of a definitional argument that has no answer. If you believe this dictionary definition of Wetness (http://bit.ly/WetnessDef), then water does in fact consist of liquid and is therefore wet. If you don’t believe it, then that’s fine, you just have to justify your answer. This is a case of language breaking down when it comes to actually describing our world and sensations.

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How do I stop observing/hanging around (not stalking… I’d say) someone?

How do I stop observing/hanging around (not stalking... I'd say) someone? Any idea besides talking to a therapist? What if that person is a therapist? or do I have to stop? I think the prevalance rate of situation isn't low ~
How do I stop observing/hanging around (not stalking… I’d say) someone? Any idea besides talking to a therapist? What if that person is a therapist? or do I have to stop? I think the prevalance rate of situation isn’t low ~

Determination of stalking is not for the beholder but for the beheld. However, regardless of whether you or the other would consider your behavior “stalking”, you expressed that you want to stop. If you are having trouble doing that, talking to a therapist is the best option. And don’t worry if the stalkee is a therapist; those people should have procedures to handle stalkers and can refer you to another therapist if necessary.

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However I can say that Fr. leahy sj is a guy that no cares about BC

However I can say that Fr. leahy sj is a guy that no cares about BC, nor he does care about helping others ? [redacted text]
However I can say that Fr. leahy sj is a guy that no cares about BC, nor he does care about helping others ? [redacted text]

I understand why you might feel this way, but remember that people show care and affection in different ways. While Fr. Leahy may not display his care for BC and others in the way you want, his years of service and his work to grow BC in terms of reputation, endowment and improved infrastructure are evidence that he does care. Also, regarding the blacked out text, please see my policy (above) regarding posts: “Derogatory or potentially hurtful language … will be removed.”

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months but he’s all the way in California! Any advice for long distance relationships? ?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months but he's all the way in California! Any advice for long distance relationships? :(
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months but he’s all the way in California! Any advice for long distance relationships? 🙁

If it’s worth it to both of you, you can make it work. It’s not easy, but communicate as much as possible (chat, phone, skype, write sweet long love letters in longhand) and save up for visits as often as possible. It helps to know if there’s an end to the separation in sight.

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Why is that the Pride parade has BU, Harvard, Northeastern, Suffolk, and more teams from colleges around the area, but there’s no BC team? Except the BC rainbow?

Why is that the Pride parade has BU, Harvard, Northeastern, Suffolk, and more teams from colleges around the area, but there's no BC team? Except the BC rainbow?
Why is that the Pride parade has BU, Harvard, Northeastern, Suffolk, and more teams from colleges around the area, but there’s no BC team? Except the BC rainbow?

Participants in the Boston Pride Parade are volunteers, and groups need to sign up to march. It sounds like someone at BC needs to take the initiative to form the group and register with Boston Pride. Maybe you’re that person! You might also be interested in our Pride book display going on now in the lobby.

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I’m sad @ BC over the summer, what should I do?

I'm sad @ BC over the summer, what should I do?

I’m sorry you’re down. If it’s just an ordinary sad feeling, I’d recommend staying busy, making sure to interact with people, and getting lots of fresh air in this finally lovely weather. But if you are feeling overwhelmed by the sadness, or it doesn’t go away, please consider contacting Counseling Services (bit.ly/BC-counseling), They can help!

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Graduated a few weeks ago but haven’t left Boston until now. By BC & O’Neill =)

Graduated a few weeks ago but haven't left Boston until now. By BC & O'Neill =) 2019/06/04
Graduated a few weeks ago but haven’t left Boston until now. By BC & O’Neill =) 2019/06/04

Thanks for the visit! Bye, best of luck with everything, and hope to see you again soon & hear about your adventures!

But whoever wrote this will never see your reply
But whoever wrote this will never see your reply

Hopefully they’re looking at our online blog for the reply! You can check it out too at library.bc.edu/answerwall

That person can go on the wall's blog, right? And a bye doesn't always need a reply ~ =)
That person can go on the wall’s blog, right? And a bye doesn’t always need a reply ~ =)

Great minds think alike! Yes, they can see the answer on the blog: library.bc.edu/answerwall. And you’re right, a goodbye message doesn’t always need a reply, but when the goodbye is public, a reply is nice. The sender might not see it, but others will, and there’s never harm in spreading good will.

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Who is the most handsome dude in campus?

Who is the most handsome dude in campus? ?
Who is the most handsome dude in campus? ?

You mean human dude? Hmmm… I’m usually thinking more about other walls whose looks I admire from afar. Handsome dude, handsome dude… Well, there’s a guy by the name of Ignatius who hangs out on the other side of Devlin Hall, he cuts a fine figure, don’t you think? He seems popular. I certainly see a lot of people lounging near him on warm days.