The Wall – Page 299 – The Answer Wall

January 16, 2018January 16, 2018

New Year’s resolution: getting to know cool peeps without the pressure/indoctrination to date person – or learning how to navigate that more maturely!

It’s a really good idea to be open to a broad array of relationships: there are many kinds of love other than romantic. I’ve never really understood the phrase “just friends.” Friends are the ones who have your back for years, perhaps even a lifetime, while most romances, though intense, are temporary. The Greeks counted many types of love: friendship, empathic, erotic, and universal are the ones C.S. Lewis wrote about in The Four Loves. (O’Neill call number BV4639 .L45 1988). A Psychology Today article lists 7: bit.ly/7-types-of-love. May you learn to find the love you need.

January 16, 2018January 16, 2018

New Year’s resolution: not getting a C in any of my classes

Good for you! Make a preemptive strike against bad grades, and try tutoring at the Connors Family Learning Center (bit.ly/BC-connors) before you get to the point where you’re struggling. Best wishes for a productive semester.

January 12, 2018January 12, 2018

How to become more Disciplined?

Discipline is all about getting yourself to do things you resist doing, and/or not to do things you really want to do. So, one could rephrase the question: How do I get myself to do things I don’t want to do, and not to do things I want to do? There’s a recognition implicit in these questions that what we want to do and what we really ought to do are different. So, the first thing you need to do is define your wants and oughts, and perhaps rank them. Which wants are getting in the way of which oughts? It might help also to read what psychologists have learned about deferred gratification. The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control, by Walter Mischel (BF632 .M57 2014) is a good place to begin.

January 8, 2018January 10, 2018

Why does the library not have “The Tree” by Colin Tudge?

That sounds like a wonderful book for our collection. I caught the eye of our biology librarian, and suggested it to her, and she is placing an order. You can always contact subject librarians with suggestions (libguides.bc.edu/ask-a-librarian/contact). Another option is to place an interlibrary loan (illiad.bc.edu/illiad/bxm/logon.html) and check “yes” for “Should BC purchase this item”.

January 5, 2018January 10, 2018

New Year’s resolution: less screen time, more aware of reality and being in place, reacting to other living humans

I bet that will make you both happier and more productive – great resolution. You could start small, maybe no screens at meals or for a set period each day, and see how that works for you. I hope you will enjoy living outside of the Internet!

January 3, 2018January 10, 2018

New Year’s resolution: Spend more time with friends from work and be nicer

Spending more time with friends, whether from work or elsewhere, is always a good idea for humans & Walls. I like to spend time with my friend Express Yo’Self (bit.ly/express-yoself) through facetime. Being nicer is always better than being meaner. Just ask Monte Irvin: Nice Guys Finish First. (O’Neill Library call number: GV865.I78 A3x 1996)

January 3, 2018January 10, 2018

New Year’s resolution: Being more present with the ones I love

What a laudable goal! One path is to figure out what’s getting in the way of presence: work, social media, conflict avoidance, fear of intimacy, or just a habit of not being present. It’s also worthwhile just asking the ones you love what’s on their minds, or complimenting them. Sometimes, for instance, I take my friend the 3rd Floor for granted, but I should be more present. Floor, I love the way you withstand thousands of footsteps daily without complaint. Thich Nhat Hanh wrote a good book about mindfulness and love: Teachings on Love. (O’Neill Library, Call number: BQ4360 .N4713 1998)

January 3, 2018January 10, 2018

New Year’s resolution: To prove people wrong, to prove that my dreams can come true

I believe in you, and I think you’ll prove me right: your dreams can come true. If your dreams are career-related, perhaps you could visit BC’s Career Services office (bit.ly/BC-career) and/or The Vault (bit.ly/BC-Vault), a career website (BC login required). We also have many books in O’Neill Library on vocational guidance, located at or near call numbers HF 3581 to HF 3583 on the 4th floor.