It’s a tough call. Knowing what is developmentally appropriate at a given age, and taking into account what you know about your child, you can give them the expectation that they will do the things that they can, and you will help and teach them to do the things that they can’t (yet), and you are there for them to cover the things that are beyond their abilities…. until they’re not. The goal, in my opinion, is to raise functional adults, while not crushing the child. We have many books on parenting in the HQ 755-792 range (O’Neill floor 4, shelf 121), but don’t expect the experts to agree!