How do I get hit by the newton bus so I can avoid finals?

How do I get hit by the newton bus so I can miss finals?
How do I get hit by the newton bus so I can avoid finals?

I once knew an old but energetic man named Mr. Mehta; he was always busy, always in a hurry. I didn’t see him for a few months, and then one day he appeared in crutches & bandages. I asked him what happened. “I went under the bus!” he exclaimed cheerfully. But how could he be so happy, since his injuries slowed him down so much. “I am able to retire! And I am alive to be with my grandchildren!” He died a year later, possibly as a result of the injuries. I’ll bet you’re much better at taking exams than getting just the right amount of injured by buses. Good luck on your finals, and stay away from those buses!