autism – The Answer Wall

Dear Answer Wall, Lately I've been wondering if I might be autistic, as I have some of the classic signs: I've often felt out of place in social situations (i.e. I rarely make jokes for fear of being misunderstood, and at parties, I can be found standing awkwardly in the corner); despite usually having an exceptional memory, I often forget people's names; I engage in some repetitive behaviors, like cleaning my nails even when there's nothing stuck under them; and I do tend to ramble about my sometimes-niche interests, even to an uninterested crowd. At the same time, I have a few good friends, am doing exceptionally well in my classes, and have no... — Dear Answer Wall, Lately I’ve been wondering if I might be autistic, as I have some of the classic signs: I’ve often felt out of place in social situations (i.e. I rarely make jokes for fear of being misunderstood, and at parties, I can be found standing awkwardly in the corner); despite usually having an exceptional memory, I often forget people’s names; I engage in some repetitive behaviors, like cleaning my nails even when there’s nothing stuck under them; and I do tend to ramble about my sometimes-niche interests, even to an uninterested crowd. At the same time, I have a few good friends, am doing exceptionally well in my classes, and have no…

...sensory issues of any kind Part of me is afraid that these wonderings come from a perverse desire to feel special, but that's the same thing I worried about when I was wondering if I was asexual and I am totally ace. I've looked at online tests that are supposed to give you an estimate of whether or not you might be autistic, but I always back out before taking them, becuase I worry that my expectation might bias the results. My questions for you are: Is there a definitive way to find out if I am autistic? Would there even be any point in finding out, given that I'm in my twenties and doing mostly fine? P.S. I am female, if that matters. — …sensory issues of any kind Part of me is afraid that these wonderings come from a perverse desire to feel special, but that’s the same thing I worried about when I was wondering if I was asexual and I am totally ace. I’ve looked at online tests that are supposed to give you an estimate of whether or not you might be autistic, but I always back out before taking them, becuase I worry that my expectation might bias the results. My questions for you are: Is there a definitive way to find out if I am autistic? Would there even be any point in finding out, given that I’m in my twenties and doing mostly fine? P.S. I am female, if that matters.

Thanks for sharing your candid & discerning disclosures. As you know, “autism” describes a broad spectrum of conditions (bit.ly/nimh-autism). You may or may not have a particular set of behaviors that would result in a diagnosis on this spectrum. Whether or not you are diagnosed, setting the process in motion could help you (and a professional) create a treatment plan that could address some of the behaviors you’d like to change, or it could just give you peace of mind to know for certain. You could begin the process either with Counseling Services (bit.ly/bc-counseling) or with your own primary care physician, and ask for a referral for testing. (BTW, your skepticism about online tests sounds healthy.) Whatever you do, I’m sure you’ll find a way to know yourself better.

How does someone w/ high functioning Autism make new friends?

Sometimes autism makes it hard to understand what others are thinking, including whether or not they want to be your friend. I suggest you start off being around people with similar interests (clubs, classes, hobbies, etc.). If someone in that group seems like friend-material, spend more time with them. Let the friendship grow slowly. Understand that some people have many friends and others have only a few. Those with many friends may not always have time to spend with you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t like you. As you get comfortable with a friend, let them know about your autism and how it affects your interactions with others. Being up front about that will help them know how to be a better friend. There are many websites with advice for people with autism. Just like with my advice, you should try what feels comfortable and don’t do something just because it was suggested.

<3 I’ll be friends with you! <3 Me too! Me too! <3 🙂 you’re not alone

Thank you original poster for spreading awareness … and thanks to subsequent posters for your replies. The Wall feels blessed to be part of a community where people care for each other. <3 <3 <3

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Hi. I’m the Answer Wall. In the material world, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I live in this blog. You might say I have multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of knowledge, like a ghost in the machine.

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If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t mind talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall.