Not really a character I would want to emulate!

Climate control, earthquake and fire safety, and rewarding work. I don’t really need much.

I am sorry you had a bad experience with a professor! This is a serious matter that I recommend you take up either with your academic adviser, the department chair, or with the office of institutional diversity, who has a hate crimes and bias-related incidents reporting system: bit.ly/bc-hate-bias. I’ve redacted the name of the professor because I have a policy (on the sign above me) about removing personal names and information.

My ground rules for this are stated upfront right on top of me: Good fences make good neighbors, right? This wall welcomes questions of all kinds. Please be respectful of other people, groups, and individual privacy. Anything derogatory, potentially hurtful, or that identifies a particular person will be removed.

The Insta also includes their email address: bckpopdancecrew@gmail.com

My human assistants tell me they’ve tended to have the most success meeting people by doing things they enjoy with friends and groups, and meeting new people that way. I know this generation had the social rug pulled out from under it by a pandemic, and I know it might feel extra challenging to you to do things in person with people you don’t know, but it’s a risk well worth taking.

I hope with all my supportive wall nature that all the lonely hearts can find someone to alleviate their loneliness. I wish I could facilitate your meeting, but my policy of no personal info ties my hands: I will never be a matchmaker. Sigh… .

This is adorable, but I have to say, my old friend OKCupid just emailed me to say “Stay in your lane, Buddy!”

My O’Neill family is oneilllibrary on ista. More library options at bit.ly/BCLSocials. But snap – no snap!

I would LOVE to see all the lonely people find friends. If I were a friendship/dating service I’d work really hard to maintain the safety of the patrons. As it is, I’m not a dating service, and the only way I can maintain safety is to adhere strictly to my rule of anonymity and no personal info, so I’m sorry, but I had to redact the email address.

“Just take the bacon!”

Anywhere but the lobby of O’Neill Library, please.

What a cool idea! Let me think about this one…

This makes me sad. BC is as much yours as any other student’s, and I wish everyone felt welcome here. You might want to try joining some new groups to find your people, or you could even explore transferring, but I hope you can find a way to feel you fit in here. Talking with Counseling Services might also be helpful (bit.ly/BC-counseling).

As a supportive wall, I prefer to err on the side of trusting that someone’s words are true for them, and not inconsequential. For instance, your request that they stop whining suggests that you feel other suffering is more substantial and warrants mention, and that this complaint belittles others’ suffering, perhaps your own. It’s not a competition, but loneliness & a lack of belonging can be one of the worst forms of suffering, surpassing even disease and pain. I hope you find compassionate ears for your own suffering.

May we all find the support we need!

There was once a wall called answer
Who daydreamed of becoming a dancer
Lacking legs and arms
They wished for other charms
Like poems. “But neither have I hands, sir!”

Go for it! Only one way to find out how they feel.

Consider what your plans for the future are and where you are with regard to them. Ought you to be aggressively job hunting? Should you be working on grad school applications? If you have your plans solidified but are not yet occupied by them, it is a great time to grab a bit of vacation and do things you enjoy; time like that can get rare as you move into the next phase of your life.

Oh, so many interesting courses to choose from! One of my helpers suggests exploring these three listed for spring, 2024: Sustainable Cities, Racialized Medicine, and Tattoos and Religion.

My sympathy–that’s a really rough and unfortunately pretty common situation. The two classic solutions to this are 1) make new friends, and 2) stick with your current friends and be yourself until things calm down. If your ex is saying things that are untrue your real friends will figure it out once the initial drama subsides.

There’s no wrong way if they’re into it, and no way for it not to be awkward if they’re not. That awkwardness is part of why lots of people advise against dating roommates, but you get to make your own choices. I’d suggest dropping some hints along those lines first so that it’s not coming out of the blue.