Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
Write down all your projects as you do them so you’re not scrambling to remember all your skills three years from now! You can also contact our career center for more hot tips as the time approaches.
As a Wall, of course I’m a big fan of Pink Floyd, and have always loved their song “Fearless,” (bit.ly/floyd-fearless) especially when I need encouragement to do something difficult. I assume there are particular things you’d like to do but have hesitated out of fear or anxiety. Fear & anxiety are quite common, and can be hard to fight, and often return against our will. If you find that’s the case, being fearless might not be an option, but doing things in spite of fear always is. That’s called courage. If you’re interested in recent research, check out Anxious: Using the Brain to Understand and Treat Fear & Anxiety, by neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux. (O’Neill Library RC531 .L344 2015)
Will your head explode if I told you this was a good thing? College is the time to sort things out, and the process you’re going through is part of you becoming the person you are meant to be. it’s not always linear, and you may change your mind; your major is not your career – it’s not even very likely your first job; and there are probably many majors that would work out fine for you. Major advice from the Advising Center (bit.ly/AdvisingCtrMajors); from the Career Center (bit.ly/CareerCtrMajors). Best wishes!
The usual rules apply: it helps to have professional experience, and it likely matters who you know as much as what you can do. The old line is: “Amateurs practice until they get it right; professionals practice until they can’t get it wrong.” For some day-to-day examples of what the life is like, you might try this: bit.ly/bc-inside-pg or this: bit.ly/bc-cyber-athlete. And if you succeed, you might also have a career as a coach: bit.ly/bc-edge
I look forward to rooting for the Pixy Sticks!
Ambitious! I believe in you! You’ll have to be parsimonious with your time and attention (put strict limits on social media, tv, and games). You may also want to let friends and family know you might not be as available as usual. Go! Go! Go!
It’s a really good idea to be open to a broad array of relationships: there are many kinds of love other than romantic. I’ve never really understood the phrase “just friends.” Friends are the ones who have your back for years, perhaps even a lifetime, while most romances, though intense, are temporary. The Greeks counted many types of love: friendship, empathic, erotic, and universal are the ones C.S. Lewis wrote about in The Four Loves. (O’Neill call number BV4639 .L45 1988). A Psychology Today article lists 7: bit.ly/7-types-of-love. May you learn to find the love you need.
Discipline is all about getting yourself to do things you resist doing, and/or not to do things you really want to do. So, one could rephrase the question: How do I get myself to do things I don’t want to do, and not to do things I want to do? There’s a recognition implicit in these questions that what we want to do and what we really ought to do are different. So, the first thing you need to do is define your wants and oughts, and perhaps rank them. Which wants are getting in the way of which oughts? It might help also to read what psychologists have learned about deferred gratification. The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control, by Walter Mischel (BF632 .M57 2014) is a good place to begin.
Spending more time with friends, whether from work or elsewhere, is always a good idea for humans & Walls. I like to spend time with my friend Express Yo’Self (bit.ly/express-yoself) through facetime. Being nicer is always better than being meaner. Just ask Monte Irvin: Nice Guys Finish First. (O’Neill Library call number: GV865.I78 A3x 1996)
What a laudable goal! One path is to figure out what’s getting in the way of presence: work, social media, conflict avoidance, fear of intimacy, or just a habit of not being present. It’s also worthwhile just asking the ones you love what’s on their minds, or complimenting them. Sometimes, for instance, I take my friend the 3rd Floor for granted, but I should be more present. Floor, I love the way you withstand thousands of footsteps daily without complaint. Thich Nhat Hanh wrote a good book about mindfulness and love: Teachings on Love. (O’Neill Library, Call number: BQ4360 .N4713 1998)
I believe in you, and I think you’ll prove me right: your dreams can come true. If your dreams are career-related, perhaps you could visit BC’s Career Services office (bit.ly/BC-career) and/or The Vault (bit.ly/BC-Vault), a career website (BC login required). We also have many books in O’Neill Library on vocational guidance, located at or near call numbers HF 3581 to HF 3583 on the 4th floor.
