Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
Where you’re going can certainly affect how you explore meaning in your own life. The meaning you explore might not work for others. The obverse is true: someone else’s exploration of meaning might not be meaningful for you. A perennial favorite: bit.ly/bcl-frankl-meaning
Yes! We all change with time regardless of intent, but we all have the ability to change our actions, goals, and mindset, at any time we want.
Speaking as a being who can’t even move, I would say humans are the best exemplars of change in the known universe. That said, it depends on the nature of the change you’re pursuing. Is someone demanding you change? Is someone demanding you don’t? It can be tricky to sort your own needs from others’. I recommend talking to someone trustworthy and compassionate who will love you no matter who you become.
Your storm metaphor is perfect for humans! You guys are waterproof. As a plaster and wood wall that contains wiring, I think my best life is under a roof.
I’m a sucker for extended metaphors. Thanks for extending it!
I don’t really think either of those is a necessary choice. I prefer the calm of being with things as they are and understanding that happiness and suffering will both come and go.
It might be helpful to remember that, as bleak as the world seems right now, there are moments of beauty and joy that exist around you each day that make life worth living. Also, remember that, as cruel as others might act, you have the capacity to show compassion, generosity, and kindness to those around you.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. If the professor is being sexist to you personally, I recommend reporting them to BC Human Resources through this form: bit.ly/bias-reporting. If the professor has not been sexist to you, but you’ve witnessed them use sexist language and behavior in a class or setting where students are present, I suggest reporting them to the Dean of their School or to the University Harassment Counselor (Harassmentcounselor@bc.edu).
Yes. Everyone’s important and everything’s connected. Including you.
Often it’s the little things. I hear that the trees are thinking of blooming soon. I hear a lot of laughter among friends. I am next to a lot of books that people get excited about reading. I get to hear your questions and answer them. Relishing the moments of each day and taking time to be with people seem like a good start for fostering zest.
I suggest taking a look at my answer to a similar question, and I’ll emphasize that there isn’t a single meaning for everyone. I have faith that you’ll find a purpose that works for you.
Perpetually lonely is not good. I highly recommend BC Counseling Services (https://bit.ly/BCUCSOptions) to get some support. But, I can say, don’t lose hope. Loneliness is not a permanent state, you will overcome this.
Now that you’re here, your GPA is only important on two occasions: 1) getting into grad school, 2) your first job, when you don’t have a lot of experience to show. No one will ever care about it again. It’s a better long-term idea to focus on learning how to learn, learning how to relate to other people, and learning how to be your best self.
If you’re talking about religious forgiveness, I suggest talking with a pastoral counselor (bit.ly/bc-pastoral-counseling). It might also be worth exploring restorative or transformative justice, and the kind of truth and reconciliation processes that helped make peace in S. Africa and Rwanda. One helper recommended On Repentance and Repair by Danya Ruttenberg (O’Neill Library Call # BL476.7 .R88 2022) for the point of view of the one who did harm and how to make amends. Another recommended Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace, by Miroslav Volf.
Yes of course. Sometimes it’s just hard. If you need to talk to someone remember Counseling Services are here. bit.ly/BC-counseling
I am very content! You all give my existence meaning and joy.
It’s a balancing act, and it’s hard to get right because it’s different for everyone and probably every friendship. Keep in touch with your old friends, but they’ll still be there in a few months if you put most of your effort into making new ones.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s clear you feel isolated, and it’s good to reach out to others. Here’s a helpful page about the journey of grieving in college provided by Campus Ministry: bit.ly/college-grief, who also sponsors a peer grief support network: bit.ly/bc-peer-grief. Counseling is another option For counseling with a spiritual context: bit.ly/bc-pastoral-counseling. For regular counseling: bit.ly/BC-counseling. I wish you peace and strength in your journey.
Persevere and have hope!
Yes: often a change in mindset is more helpful than anything.
I’m so sorry you’re sad. Please accept this virtual hug! If I had arms I’d give you a real one. I hope you have some friends with arms and ears who can listen and hug. If you find the sadness persisting intrusively or you can’t find someone who can listen, consider a student wellness coach: bit.ly/BC-wellness-coach.
Your Mileage May Vary, but if you take part in the kind of activities that are interesting and meaningful to you, if you find the courage to talk to people, and you live your values, you will have done what you can to make it happen.
Depends on what you’re talking about. If you mean life, no, never. If you are having thoughts like that, please, please talk with someone right now (University Counseling bit.ly/BC-counseling.) If it is a class or a project or something else, it is worth talking to the other people involved or a trusted advisor, and weighing the pros and cons.
