
I’d recommend the same thing when trying to talk with anyone: start with a “hello” and bring an open mind. And remember that a good conversation is as much about listening as it is about speaking.
Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
In many love stories time is spent together or a friendship develops that grows into romantic affection (see plot of any RomCom from the late ’90s – early ’00s for example). In your case, patience will be your best friend. As singer Doris Day said, “Que Sera Sera” (Whatever will be, will be).
Focus on being a good person. The specifics of what that looks like for any given man are less important than the basics of being a good human being. BC’s core classes in philosophy and theology have a lot to say about that, but one place to start might be Aristotle’s Ncomachean Ethics. Book II of that is about what is “good” (virtuous) in people. Two specifics, though: 1) Learn to admit when you’re wrong. 2) That thing that needs doing that nobody else wants to do? Do it yourself.
Like beauty, “best” is in the eyes of the beholder (or, in this case, the reader). My helpers tell me that while Sally Rooney’s novels tend to touch on common themes around friendship, romance, class, and more, each book offers something slightly new that might appeal to different readers for different reasons.
It’s bittersweet when a chapter ends. Your feelings make sense, they will probably continue to fluctuate, which is to be expected. You may be moving away, but your friendships won’t end, they’ll just shift. You have accomplished so much while here at BC. When you were new here, you probably couldn’t predict how many friends and memories you would make. Remember that you can handle whatever the future holds.
Studying with breaks for self-care to make the studying more effective. Getting rest, eating good meals, and factoring in whimsy too. We can only memorize and remember so much without taking good care of ourselves. Also, I find flash cards very effective.
Now that you’re here, your GPA is only important on two occasions: 1) getting into grad school, 2) your first job, when you don’t have a lot of experience to show. No one will ever care about it again. It’s a better long-term idea to focus on learning how to learn, learning how to relate to other people, and learning how to be your best self.
There are many ideas about this, but generally try to actively listen to what someone is saying and show genuine interest in their lives. Have warm, positive body language (a brief smile with raised eyebrows and keeping eye contact for example) to make folks you interact with feel at ease. Be a bit vulnerable to show you are authentic and folks around you can be themselves. Expressing humor and finding points of connection are a bonus but take time and practice to get right.