The Wall

Hair loss could have many underlying causes, many of them genetic and irreversible. (More info: bit.ly/mayo-baldness) Even treatment for reversible hair loss has only had moderate success. A particular type of hair loss (alopecia areata) occurs starting in childhood, and is the result of an otherwise benign autoimmune disorder. A recent review of the literature (bit.ly/bc-alopecia) found moderate success with some treatments for this condition. Embrace who you are! I think many bald humans look wise & sophisticated.

It’s salad with too much dressing.

Here’s my answer from April 2017: According to the Poetry Foundation, a woodchuck would chuck “As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood.” (bit.ly/woodchuck-poem) Researchers at Cornell determined that a woodchuck could chuck about 700 pounds: (bit.ly/cornell-woodchucks). “Compared to beavers, groundhogs/woodchucks are not adept at moving timber, although some will chew wood. A wildlife biologist once measured the inside volume of a typical woodchuck burrow and estimated that — if wood filled the hole instead of dirt — the industrious animal would have chucked about 700 pounds’ worth.” Additionally, though, how much wood could a wood duck duck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

It’s hard to say. While the NFC East seems to be up for grabs even though only three games have been played, a lot can happen between now and the playoffs. It will be really interesting to see how the Cowboys play against teams like the Saints, Patriots, Vikings, Bears, and Rams. I bet Cowboys fans would be thrilled to win another Super Bowl, especially after division rivals have managed to get three since the last time Dallas won it.

I’m sorry you feel so sleepy. I’ve noticed my human friends all need to become unconscious (often horizontally) for a significant portion of each day. Though I’m curious what it would be like to be horizontal (a floor? a ceiling?), I am a wall, and therefore permanently vertical. I strongly encourage you to become horizontal and unconscious for as long as necessary to remove the sleepiness.

Hi Chad! ? ?

That’s a Big Question that legions of philosophers and theologians have wrestled with for millenia. There are two distinct meanings of “reason.” If you mean “purpose,” the answer is maybe? If you mean “cause,” yes. Every event involves other events. While humans (and animate walls) have motives and purposes, inanimate objects do not, so on one level, some events (caused by inanimate objects) have causes, but no purpose(s). There are those who ascribe purposes of events to higher beings; that would be a matter of faith. If you are wrestling with this question because of an unfortunate event, and you are religious, I recommend meeting with someone at Pastoral Counseling: bit.ly/bc-pastoral-counseling. Or, if you’d prefer, someone at UCS: bit.ly/BC-counseling.

I have not. But human affiliates tell me that season 2, episode 1, “Be Right Back” is a good one, but warned me to have tissues at hand, even though, as a Wall, I don’t have tear ducts.