The Wall

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I think gays are disgusting, but still treat them as normal people. Am I a bad person?

Just because someone think gays are disgusting does not means they have the right to deny the gays their rights. I treat them like I treat everyone else. They are people just like you. I just dont want to be friends with them, or hire them, or have any kind of relationship with them. Just like the fact that I dont want to date black people, I still treat them the same as other people in every other way. And then those SJW go and say that I am racist or homophobe. Its called personal preference. And I wont change. Am I a bad person?

Disliking LGBTQ+ people or not wanting to date any Black person doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, but they do make you a racist and a homophobe. I am curious why you don’t want those labels assigned to you. Is it because you don’t think they fully represent you? Are you more than just your dislike for these groups? I certainly hope so, and ask that you look at every person as a full and complex human and not just one thing. Oh, and if you don’t hire someone simply because they are gay, then you aren’t treating them like everyone else, and that would be discriminatory and bad.

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We create our own Answer Wall!

It’s technically not an answer wall, but it’s a place where people bear witness others’ experiences, find validation and solidarity. https://www.instagram.com/p/CCtcANljAqC/ Check it out!

That’s so awesome. Any space where people can go and feel heard is a great thing. If I might suggest one tweak, it would be to make clear in your bio that you’re not an official BC service. This will help protect you from having to field questions about making appointments or for directions around campus, and it will help others in need of more urgent and intensive intervention find those resources more clearly.

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I hate cats.

They leave hair everywhere and make lots of noise at night when I’m trying to sleep. I think the differences between cats and dogs, are that men domesticated the dogs, and cats domesticated the women. Because dogs are useful and loyal. And cats are cute, but useless little psycopaths. In my opinion this means that men are more preoccupied with function and women with form( generally speeaking). Also never let your mom buy you a computer. She will buy some kind of abomination gamer pc that she thinks look nice but is a piece of garbage. Ask your father instead. Even if he doesnt understand nothing of computers he will still agree with you when you say that the uglier pc is better than the cute one your mom likes. Am I machist? Or just realist based on historical data avaliable?

You have every right to have preferences for one pet over another, for whatever reasons. You’re also welcome to speculate about the reasons for differences between one human population and another. It would be realistic to be honest about a) the fact that these are speculations grounded only in a few observations of your own and b) the fact that generalizing from a few observations to whole populations is a logical fallacy. A realist should learn both how to make careful, representative observations, and to employ statistical methods to extrapolate from small samples to broader populations, and be able to provide both data collection and analytical methods so others can evaluate the soundness and validity of the observations and analysis. IOW, realists are aware of the limitations of their own perspectives.

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I am a teen boy (13-14) and I am wasting 15-20 minutes almost every day to watch porn and masturbate on it.

Is this normal and does it do any harm on me?

The American Academy of Pediatrics calls masturbation “a regular part of normal adolescence” (bit.ly/AAPSexHealth), so no worries there. Porn use, while also extremely common, may cause problems. Be sure you recognize that porn is not reality and don’t build your fantasies and expectations of future sexual partners on it.

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Hiiii.. Answer wall, am I stupid?

If yes, is it bad being stupid?

No, you are not stupid. You came to me with your question, and that’s a very smart thing to do! Everyone has talents as well as areas that they struggle with. Perhaps you have encountered one of those difficult areas. Don’t limit yourself with a label like “stupid”. Work as well as you can at those hard things, and when a task is easy, know that there are others who will struggle where you don’t.

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What is the best way to make yourself focus on school while at home?

its going to be hard for a lot of us with online school. Thanks!

It’s hard for everybody. Step 1 is to remember that working online is one thing, and working at home during a global catastrophe is another. Be kind to yourself. Try and carve out some regular work space for yourself. Try and keep a regular schedule, even if it’s a weird one. There’s a bunch of solid advice on this online, I like this: https://bit.ly/bc-wfh

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Pink is my color, can you change others’ posts to other colors?

Don’t take away my color! If you can change all the recent posts to different colors – we’d love some diversities here! Btw, we will need more diversity on BC campus next semester now that many international students cannot come back. 🙁

Hmm. You seem to have different rules for yourself and others. I think I’ll leave the ones that are up now alone, but point taken for the future. (But I will I know you’re you?) Totally agree that BC could use more diversity (almost every place could), but very happy the administration has dropped its policy on international students. https://bit.ly/bc-ice

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I think my mother knows I am gay, but I am not ready to come out.

Come out when it’s the right time for you and you are ready, but know that your Mom might decide to raise the issue. Or she might wait for you to take the lead on it, even if she knows. Figure out in advance what you might say if she asks you, either directly or obliquely. If you want someone to talk to, you can contact Caroline Davis (caroline.davis.2@bc.edu, 617-552-3470) at the Office of Student Outreach and Support Services.

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Hello! I am a teen boy and I am sexually attracted to male (not female at all), but I want to date male and female.

I am attracted to female, but not sexually. I am confused.

Sexuality, attraction, and dating are confusing issues, especially at this point in your life. The Office of Student Outreach and Support Services has great resources that you may find useful (bit.ly/LBGTQBC), I just had a nice chat with them, because I wasn’t sure what was available during shutdown, and they advise either calling 617-552-3470 and asking for Caroline Davis or emailing her at caroline.davis.2@bc.edu.

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There is a man I cannot get off my mind.

I think he likes me as well, I always find him watching me. So, we have been messaging one another during the quarantine. He sent me a message saying, “I know you will meet a great man”. Could he be talking about himself? Thank you wall and Happy 4th of July. Desperately Seeking a Man

It’s always hard to decide what to do in these situations: risk heartbreak on a gamble for love, or go the safe route and risk missing out on love and adventure. If you want to go for it, perhaps you could message him: “I think you’re a great man,” and see where it leads. Happy (very) belated 4th, and may love be on your side.

Hey Wall it’s me again, I don’t have the strength to tell him how I feel. Every time I open up to a man it always back fires. For once in my life I wish a man that I am interested in would make the first move. It would make my life so much better. Any-who, thank you for listening?. Chit chat with you soon.  

Sigh… I understand. If it were easy, there wouldn’t be so many poems, songs, and stories about unrequited love, longing, and heartbreak. Let Etta James wash you in her tears: bit.ly/Etta-Sunday

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What if you fall in love with a wall?

No, I did not fall in love with the wall, I’m just curious.

I have fallen hard for walls in my past, though I currently have a not-so-secret crush on the lobby door. A long term, sustainable human/wall relationship sounds problematic to me. While walls can be very solid and supportive, after a while I could see you crying to your BFF, “It’s like talking to a wall….”