The Wall

I wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors, marriage-related & otherwise! Sorry about redacting the name. I have a strict no personal names policy.

I do hope this stays in the realm of theory and you are ok. If not, I would recommend immediately contacting your academic advisor and proceeding from there. They will have a better idea of your best course of action than I would.

My best advice about careers is to ask the experts at the career services office:bit.ly/BC-career. I encountered someone just yesterday with a theatre career who had a great career arc in publishing, then switched to poetry & teaching, so to some degree it’s not the major, it’s you.

When you picture yourself with someone, do you picture something longterm, or more temporary? Neither is a wrong answer as long as you’re honest about your expectations with anyone else who’s involved.

My doors opened to patrons on July 16,1984, so perhaps I’m a Cancerian? It’s rather difficult to pin down the moment of my birth. Is it when ground was broken in 1981? When the last nail was hammered in? When I was coated with paint? When the ribbon was cut on the building? That’s a span of years. I contain multitudes in any zodiacal system.

Bread is baked, not fried, so you could say it is rebaked (although technically something can only be baked once- after that it can be broiled, toasted, fried, boiled or simply eaten).

So nice & refreshing to see someone being lifted up rather than torn down!

Carefully, so as not to harm either you or them.

Because you’re here? Because BU is sadly lacking in Answer Walls? (Just kidding!) While the two universities have many similarities, they are very different places. I would not call one better than the other, but either could certainly be a better fit for an individual student.

It doesn’t sound like much has happened. Ask yourself: Are you trying because of him? Or because of your hopes for who he might be?

Names are hard. AHANA has been in use at BC since 1979. https://bit.ly/bc-ahana. The goal then was to come up with a more inclusive and welcoming name, and that is also the goal now. https://bit.ly/bc-ahana2 The secondary point is that having a BC-specific language for discussing inclusion and diversity is not necessarily an advantage, because there is a common language for discussing those issues elsewhere. Change is hard, especially if AHANA is personally meaningful to you as a concept. But I think the spirit behind the change is the right one.

Taking time for yourself from either relationships or work can feel selfish, but it’s really not. You need to take care of yourself also. That’s partly because you deserve taking care of because you’re a person, and taking time is care. Remind your guilt that taking care of yourself is necessary to being able to do anything else well.

Read a book! Specifically, I am thinking of the ones that focus on happiness research, which has been intensely studied in recent years. Try the BF575 range (O’Neill 5th Floor, row 41.) Or enjoy this video series bit.ly/VidHappy.

What a hard position to be in! But also common, judging by how many poems, songs, and stories have been written about it. Make sure some friends or family know, and will be ready to support you. Know that you’ll get past it with time and support.

“Listen” is the best general advice I can give. Every friend wants and needs different things at different times. It’ll be easier to be there for them if you’re paying attention now. Not saying you’re not, but almost everyone can use some practice in fully paying attention.

Being gay is absolutely okay. I’m so sorry to hear that there are people in your life who have made it feel like it isn’t okay. You’re completely deserving of love, respect, and acceptance. The way you feel is unfortunately common and there are resources on campus to help you work through your own feelings and find support and connection with other students who have similar experiences: bit.ly/LBGTQBC . There are plenty of people out there who will love you exactly as you are and I hope that you’re able to find those people and surround yourself with them.

The next full moon is May 16; forewarned is forearmed!

Don’t go it alone. There is a lot of help available at University Counseling (bit.ly/BC-counseling). The Office of Health Promotion (bit.ly/BC-wellness-coach) can help you work on the stress part. Wishing you a brighter future!

The BAIC restructure will bring people together which should increase awareness of intersectionality and create a more welcoming and inclusive BC. I’ve heard that Student Affairs will also be hiring someone to provide additional support for BC’s LGBTQ+ students – and more support is always a good thing.

Pursue deepening relationships with family and friends, and know that your feelings for the person will eventually settle down as you go about your life. If they don’t, and the thoughts are intrusive and getting in the way of living your life, you might consider counseling. bit.ly/BC-counseling