I can tell you’re trying your best. I admire your persistence. In fact, your persistence is inspiring and has given at least one of my assistants the courage to work through some of their own difficulties. So it doesn’t seem from my perspective like hope is what’s missing. Maybe it’s trust? When you fear that trust could be betrayed, it’s hard to take a risk. But you’ve also already demonstrated your courage in sharing as much as you have here. You really are hopeful & courageous, so I believe you have the capacity to keep trying until you heal.