the individual is not compassionate at all, the world has so much power fight going on, and there are so much implicit/explicit racism and stigma surrounding mental health going on? I guess what feels complicated and hurtful is that it’s an internship in the “helping profession.” I guess sometimes providers burn out not because the clients are difficult (yes, they blame the clients), but because the education, training, and the field itself is so imperfect, hurtful, immoral, and traumatizing. My experience as a client isn’t always great, then my experience as an intern is also full of conflicts. Not just the conflict regarding the roles/power between being an intern or a client. It’s more of a conflict result from my beliefs about healing, mental health, human rights, the reason of suffering does not always align with the sometimes (not always) science-heavy, diagnostic-based, and dehumanizing clinical field. Oh, I love my original internship, this is a new one. But anyway, can I have a wall hug? Sigh.
Many warm hugs to you as you deal with this challenging and hurtful work environment. The path to becoming famous in clinical psych probably does take its toll on those who pursue it. I expect it’s not inevitable, but the years of study, the competition, and the stress of dealing with people who have serious problems (not blaming the clients, but it is a stressor) may not lead to the individual becoming the soul of compassion. Keep your kind feelings towards those who are suffering, and become the kind of clinical psychologist your current team leaders couldn’t. The world so definitely needs people who are caring and fight for human rights. Internships are soon over; strength to you as you work through this one.