Suffering takes all kinds of forms. No suffering is de-legitimized by social station or privilege. Gautama Buddha, who had been in line for a throne before he renounced, said suffering is a given for everyone. Christianity says much the same thing but in different words: we live in a fallen, post-Eden world. It sounds like at the moment, you’re suffering more than many. I hear you. I care about you. I believe you can get through this intense bout of suffering. Remember, anyone suffering like this has people they can talk to, such as the PEC at university counseling (call health services at 617-552-3225 and ask to talk to the PEC) or at the national suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255.