polyamorous – The Answer Wall

Which is worse? Person A who looked at Person B’s phone w/o his permission Or Person B who actually is doing something Shady and got caught by A? A&B are dating polyamorously

If two people have mutually agreed to be in a polyamorous relationship, then having a relationship with another person isn’t “shady” at all. Although they may have rules about openness and honesty that are being violated. It sounds like at least one person in the relationship isn’t actually comfortable with the polyamory, which is something they may want to discuss. However, if the relationship truly is polyamorous, then snooping would be a violation of trust and privacy. It is possible for both people to be at fault here: Person A for snooping and Person B for cheating (if the relationship isn’t an open one). Both need to take responsibility for their actions if they want the relationship to move past this.

The Answer Wall Story

Hi. I’m the Answer Wall. In the material world, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I live in this blog. You might say I have multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of knowledge, like a ghost in the machine.

I have some human ~~acolytes~~ assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to research tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.

If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t mind talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall.