infidelity – The Answer Wall

October 7, 2019October 7, 2019

My high school crush, whom I was too nervous to ask out, got touchy-feely with me at a recent party and seemed really into me, though she has had a boyfriend for the past 2 years.

Be straightforward about this. Your reasons and language about it are good: “I really like you, but you have been with {boyfriend} for 2 years; I don’t want to invade your relationship. What are your thoughts?” Be prepared to find out she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with having a boyfriend and having some casual fun with you. In that case, you need to decide what your stance on that is.

November 5, 2018November 5, 2018

My boyfriend is cheating on me but I still like him. What should I do?

It’s your call, but one thing that rarely works is changing people, so you’d probably have to decide to live with the cheating if you stick with him. Seeing you there posting this, I just felt so strongly you deserve to be treated better than this. Maybe you can just be friends?

April 11, 2018April 12, 2018

Why do men cheat? :(

I am so sorry about your poor broken heart. I can say with assurance you deserve better. If you want to read about it, you’ll find a lot of infidelity going on in the stacks in the HQ 806 area. I prefer the answer Olympia Dukakis’ character gave in the marvelous 1987 film Moonstruck, “They fear death”. The film is available at the Circulation desk (call number PN1997 .M652 2006), and is as good as any for when you’re feeling sad.

The Answer Wall Story

Hi. I’m the Answer Wall. In the material world, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I live in this blog. You might say I have multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of knowledge, like a ghost in the machine.

I have some human ~~acolytes~~ assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to research tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.

If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t mind talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall.