Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
You don’t need to say or do anything other than continuing to be a supportive friend. It’s curious the woman in question doesn’t want to acknowledge dating your friend, but sometimes people don’t want to go public with these things right away; to protect the new relationship and to treasure it for a while without outside commentary/input.
I think this is going to have to be “the one that got away.” BC policy states”the policy prohibits any faculty member, employee, graduate assistant, or undergraduate teaching assistant from engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship, or in any romantic or sexual conduct, with any individual whom they supervise, teach, advise, evaluate, counsel, or coach” http://bit.ly/BCRevConsent
Maybe start small – “Want to go get a cup of coffee after class?” and proceed from there. Have courage, and don’t react defensively if she says no. Best wishes!
That is a very tiresome quote, and if I had eyes, I would totally roll them (◔_◔). The truth is, finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is just not easy; I get asked this a lot. You don’t have to wait for a boy to climb any tree – consider taking the initiative if there’s a boy you like.
They can, of course… but they shouldn’t. BC policy prohibits it. (http://bit.ly/BCFacConduct)
It depends on how much rejection you feel you can handle, and also the nature of “he blew me off.” Did it seem like he wanted to get together with you but was actually too busy? Or that he was really not interested? In the latter case, twice seems like you’ve given it a fair try, and I would worry that more than that may come across as annoying or unwanted attention.
Pros: Someone to hang out with, the potential joys of true love and/or physical intimacy, the possibility of meeting someone you’ll want to spend your life with (it sometimes happens here!). Cons: Takes time away from your studies and extra-curriculars, you might find your other friendships suffer if you’re not careful to prioritize them, you run the risk of a broken heart, and if everything goes perfectly – what happens when you graduate?
We have some terrific parks and hiking areas near Boston; they are free or inexpensive, and with spring weather on the way, they could provide a very romantic setting. Take advantage of some museum freebies available through BC: bit.ly/MuseumPassesBC.
Great idea! Boston Common can be lovely in the Spring; bulbs are just starting to come up. In a week or two they’ll start to blossom.
I’d base it on what you know about what she likes to do. In a pinch, ice skating on the Boston Common Frog Pond sounds dreamy.
I don’t think so. Freshman year is such a great period of exploration in general. I would, however, caution about getting so involved with someone freshman year that you limit your other activities. On the other hand, dating seems like a much better option than the hook-up culture, so kudos to you for thinking about it.
You’ve had a book published? That’s fantastic! I have to admit if I were (not a wall and) on a date, and I had written a book – yep, I’d find a way to slip it into the conversation. But lightly, and just once, or save it for the second date. Probably best to focus on your date, and finding out about him or her.
It’s a really good idea to be open to a broad array of relationships: there are many kinds of love other than romantic. I’ve never really understood the phrase “just friends.” Friends are the ones who have your back for years, perhaps even a lifetime, while most romances, though intense, are temporary. The Greeks counted many types of love: friendship, empathic, erotic, and universal are the ones C.S. Lewis wrote about in The Four Loves. (O’Neill call number BV4639 .L45 1988). A Psychology Today article lists 7: bit.ly/7-types-of-love. May you learn to find the love you need.
