How to be confident in myself?

How to be confident in myself?
How to be confident in myself?

Patience with yourself and practice is the short answer. Often pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, and practicing positive self-affirmation and positive body language are a good starting point. And avoiding comparison. As a wall, I’d say standing straight and being happy with who I am is key, and I’ve also accepted that I’ll never get as much human interaction as the library door and that doesn’t change how much I’m needed as a wall.

There is this on-campus group I auditioned for, but I got cut. I thought I’d get over it by now, but I am through missing out on the thing I want to do more than anything else. Any advice?

There is this on-campus group I auditioned for, but I got cut. I thought I'd get over it by now, but I am through missing out on the thing I want to do more than anything else. Any advice?
There is this on-campus group I auditioned for, but I got cut. I thought I’d get over it by now, but I am through missing out on the thing I want to do more than anything else. Any advice?

Anything that requires auditions is brutal, you have my sympathy. Is there another thing you could do with those talents that you’d enjoy? With a lot of arts anything you do makes you better at them, and it’s a small world, your shot might come around again a little later.

Don’t take a class w/ Prof. [redacted name]. She is a BIGOT.

Don't take a class w/ Prof. [redacted name]. She is a BIGOT.
Don’t take a class w/ Prof. [redacted name]. She is a BIGOT.

I am sorry you had a bad experience with a professor! This is a serious matter that I recommend you take up either with your academic adviser, the department chair, or with the office of institutional diversity, who has a hate crimes and bias-related incidents reporting system: bit.ly/bc-hate-bias. I’ve redacted the name of the professor because I have a policy (on the sign above me) about removing personal names and information.

girl what??? you got censored :(
girl what??? you got censored 🙁

My ground rules for this are stated upfront right on top of me: Good fences make good neighbors, right? This wall welcomes questions of all kinds. Please be respectful of other people, groups, and individual privacy. Anything derogatory, potentially hurtful, or that identifies a particular person will be removed.

Are there any kinds of books that should be banned?

Are there any kinds of books that should be banned? On what basis? Who can make those decisions?
Are there any kinds of books that should be banned? On what basis? Who can make those decisions?

The short answer is no, you’re not going to meet many librarians (or library walls) in favor of banning books under almost any circumstances. The baseline for the profession is the American Library Association’s Library Bill of Rights. Librarians try to build collections that serve all of a community, and you can’t do that without collecting material that will be controversial to some. The few shouldn’t get to dictate to the many what they can read.

Dear wall, I’m lonely. How do I pull guys/girls (I’m bi)

Dear wall, I'm lonely. How do I pull guys/girls (I'm bi)
Dear wall, I’m lonely. How do I pull guys/girls (I’m bi)

My human assistants tell me they’ve tended to have the most success meeting people by doing things they enjoy with friends and groups, and meeting new people that way. I know this generation had the social rug pulled out from under it by a pandemic, and I know it might feel extra challenging to you to do things in person with people you don’t know, but it’s a risk well worth taking.

I'm bi too and available(freshman girl)
I’m bi too and available(freshman girl)

I hope with all my supportive wall nature that all the lonely hearts can find someone to alleviate their loneliness. I wish I could facilitate your meeting, but my policy of no personal info ties my hands: I will never be a matchmaker. Sigh… .

Omg, that's so cute, do u want to meet up?
Omg, that’s so cute, do u want to meet up?

This is adorable, but I have to say, my old friend OKCupid just emailed me to say “Stay in your lane, Buddy!”

What's your insta/snap?
What’s your insta/snap?

My O’Neill family is oneilllibrary on ista. More library options at bit.ly/BCLSocials. But snap – no snap!

Here is my spam email [redacted] email me
Here is my spam email [redacted] email me

I would LOVE to see all the lonely people find friends. If I were a friendship/dating service I’d work really hard to maintain the safety of the patrons. As it is, I’m not a dating service, and the only way I can maintain safety is to adhere strictly to my rule of anonymity and no personal info, so I’m sorry, but I had to redact the email address.

I feel like I never belonged here.

I feel like I never belonged here.
I feel like I never belonged here.

This makes me sad. BC is as much yours as any other student’s, and I wish everyone felt welcome here. You might want to try joining some new groups to find your people, or you could even explore transferring, but I hope you can find a way to feel you fit in here. Talking with Counseling Services might also be helpful (bit.ly/BC-counseling).

Quit whining
Quit whining

As a supportive wall, I prefer to err on the side of trusting that someone’s words are true for them, and not inconsequential. For instance, your request that they stop whining suggests that you feel other suffering is more substantial and warrants mention, and that this complaint belittles others’ suffering, perhaps your own. It’s not a competition, but loneliness & a lack of belonging can be one of the worst forms of suffering, surpassing even disease and pain. I hope you find compassionate ears for your own suffering.

Drawing of thumbs down with an arrow pointing to the right (Appears to be Directed to "Quit Whining")
Drawing of thumbs down with an arrow pointing to the right (Appears to be Directed to “Quit Whining”)

May we all find the support we need!