Good for you for thinking about others while you are in the depths of pain. Breakups can be dreadful, but in time it will hurt less. Meanwhile it isn’t kind, fair or mature to act out at other people. Be gentle with yourself and others, and seek help (bit.ly/BC-counseling) if you are having trouble maintaining control.

First, go easy on yourself. Change isn’t easy. A rule I try to follow is to treat myself as well as I’d like my friends to be treated, kind of the obverse of the golden rule. With that in mind, it’s also likely best not to attempt changing alone. Counseling is always a good place to start: bit.ly/BC-counseling

In some marriages–perhaps even many–that is quite possible. If you want to make a case for this claim, Historical Abstracts could be a place to begin (https://bit.ly/bc-historical-abstracts). Try searching marriage and economic history as subject terms, and you’ll begin to see the edges of the volumes of research on this topic.

Prejudicial attitudes about groups *should* always fall apart like this when you get some experience with individuals from the group. Kudos to you for learning.

I am so sorry; these have been stressful times. I would call upon University Counseling Services (bit.ly/BC-counseling) to get help dealing with depression – please don’t go it alone!

I would say that it is very important that you communicate with someone about the difficulties you’re facing. Life can be hard, and it’s even harder alone, but communicating can ideally give you a support network you can use to solve problems.

Well, there seem to be many people named ***** Zhang, so there are too many answers to fit on this wall. Also, please remember that questions should not include personal identifying information.

Thank you, thank you! And welcome back.  We miss the class of 2020, but we know you’re off to beautiful things.

Hello to you!

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time making friends here. 🙁 Every community will be full of sub-communities; humans are tribal that way. Walls both protect and exclude, and groups do the same thing. I’ve noticed that doors in residence halls close automatically. That’s kind of isolating all by itself. Maybe you could read or study in a lounge, or prop your door open, and be open to what transpires, including conversation.

Go, Brandon! (No matter who you are, I’m sure you need a cheer.)

You made me laugh! We all worry about this sort of thing. The possibilities seem to be: to ignore their request, to respect their request, or to finesse the request by, perhaps, making a donation to a cause in the amount you would have spent on a gift. Which works best – depends on the individual.