How much helium do I have to microdose into my friend’s food before he starts floating?

How much helium do I have to microdose into my friend's food before he starts floating?
How much helium do I have to microdose into my friend’s food before he starts floating?

PLEASE don’t try this. Not really sure how you’re envisioning this working, as helium is only solid at a temperature around absolute zero. But in gaseous form, the answer is an amount of helium that would cause death by hypoxia a long time before any floating happened. Estimates of number of balloons required to lift 100 pounds: https://www.uu.edu/dept/physics/scienceguys/2000July.cfm.

Study spot on the weekend before 9am?

Study spot on the weekend before 9am?
Study spot on the weekend before 9am?

If you’re in student housing, use your local lounge, which ought to be pretty quiet while everyone else sleeps. Academic building locks are set to open at 6:30am on the weekends, so you could, for example, go to Stokes and use the seating on the ground floor near the Chocolate Bar.

Can you give me some long distance date ideas? NOT BASIC!

Can you give me some long distance date ideas? NOT BASIC!
Can you give me some long distance date ideas? NOT BASIC!

1. You each find a location with interesting things to look at without telling the other what it is, and video call, simultaneously giving each other tours. 2. If you’re up for travel, agree on a specific random destination and time, and meet each other there as if you’re spies for warring countries destined to fall in love; you must stay undercover and not be discovered by your spy masters. Disguises optional. 3. A recurring book date: on alternate nights, read each other chapters from a book as bedtime stories. 19th C. novels work well because the chapters are short. I recommend anything by Dumas, esp. the D’artagnan Romances.

This is a fiction, RUN !!!

This is a fiction, RUN !!!
This is a fiction, RUN !!!

Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the creator’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. (If you want a fun history, check out bit.ly/work-of-fiction.)

Will I be happier in the future?

Will I be happier in the future (in which my body will be weaker + slower and my parents and my cat will be dead), after spending my entire youth in school then eventually become a mediocre / ordinary person?
Will I be happier in the future (in which my body will be weaker + slower and my parents and my cat will be dead), after spending my entire youth in school then eventually become a mediocre / ordinary person?

Life has a lot of ups and downs, regardless of age. It sounds like your feeling down about the future, which can be really draining. I recommend seeking some extra support to navigate these existential feelings. BC Counseling Services (https://bit.ly/BCUCSOptions) is a great resource. I highly recommend checking them out.

Ronaldo is the GOAT!

Ronaldo is the GOAT!
Ronaldo is the GOAT!

If you mean Cristiano Ronaldo, he does have a claim to that title based on titles won and career stats, through Lionel Messi, Pele, and Diego Maradona all have strong cases in each of their favors.