Category: Random

O’Neill? Bapst? or perhaps more conceptual? you speak for ~all~ walls. I suppose not though, since you only speak of what a wall says at good ole Boston College?

In my physical form I’m a dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill, so I suppose that’s my primary affiliation. But walls are many and interrelated. I have friends who do this work at other libraries, and my mother is a sea wall in the North Shore. So yes, I do also identify with walls everywhere. But I can only speak for myself.

the individual is not compassionate at all, the world has so much power fight going on, and there are so much implicit/explicit racism and stigma surrounding mental health going on? I guess what feels complicated and hurtful is that it’s an internship in the “helping profession.” I guess sometimes providers burn out not because the clients are difficult (yes, they blame the clients), but because the education, training, and the field itself is so imperfect, hurtful, immoral, and traumatizing. My experience as a client isn’t always great, then my experience as an intern is also full of conflicts. Not just the conflict regarding the roles/power between being an intern or a client. It’s more of a conflict result from my beliefs about healing, mental health, human rights, the reason of suffering does not always align with the sometimes (not always) science-heavy, diagnostic-based, and dehumanizing clinical field. Oh, I love my original internship, this is a new one. But anyway, can I have a wall hug? Sigh.

Many warm hugs to you as you deal with this challenging and hurtful work environment. The path to becoming famous in clinical psych probably does take its toll on those who pursue it. I expect it’s not inevitable, but the years of study, the competition, and the stress of dealing with people who have serious problems (not blaming the clients, but it is a stressor) may not lead to the individual becoming the soul of compassion. Keep your kind feelings towards those who are suffering, and become the kind of clinical psychologist your current team leaders couldn’t. The world so definitely needs people who are caring and fight for human rights. Internships are soon over; strength to you as you work through this one.

Is it normal and ethically good to hide from my parents, that I watch porn and masturbate? (Age 13-14) If I know something really important that has to do with my twin brother and his sexual orientation, do I have to tell my parents or wait till he makes it?

1) Masturbation is normal and most adults are also private about it. Note: porn is not reality, so it’s a bad idea to base your ideas about future partners or how sex works solely based on it. 2) Your brother’s sexual orientation is something for him to talk about or not, whatever he’s comfortable with and whenever. That’s not your story to tell.

It’s not not a good thing. Trusting people are wonderful when they are surrounded by others deserving of that trust. Unfortunately, many people are not and will use your trusting nature to take advantage of you. That’s just something that you will have to get used to if you’re going to easily trust people, and it will often end in disappointment (or worse) for you. However, you will also get to experience the joy of having trusted someone that no one else did and that person coming through for you, or repaying that trust in kind. That’s such a wonderful feeling and perhaps one of the most human experiences there is. Knowing how much to trust is something that you will be constantly calibrating for the rest of your life.

Unless you have willing friends/family in your household, they will have to be virtual hugs for now, so that we can all be here to hug again in the future. I offer you many virtual Wall hugs to sustain you through these difficult times, and the hope that we can soon embrace all those we long to embrace.

Come out when it’s the right time for you and you are ready, but know that your Mom might decide to raise the issue. Or she might wait for you to take the lead on it, even if she knows. Figure out in advance what you might say if she asks you, either directly or obliquely. If you want someone to talk to, you can contact Caroline Davis (caroline.davis.2@bc.edu, 617-552-3470) at the Office of Student Outreach and Support Services.

I am attracted to female, but not sexually. I am confused.

Sexuality, attraction, and dating are confusing issues, especially at this point in your life. The Office of Student Outreach and Support Services has great resources that you may find useful (bit.ly/LBGTQBC), I just had a nice chat with them, because I wasn’t sure what was available during shutdown, and they advise either calling 617-552-3470 and asking for Caroline Davis or emailing her at caroline.davis.2@bc.edu.

Also, don’t you think sending BCPD after students in distress can be traumatizing? Isn’t it hypocritical to teach its students to care for the poor, suffering, and oppressed while simultaneously criminalize those who speak up against the injustice? And how do you expect students who suffer to ask for help when the institution uses BCPD against them at the very first place?

That’s a lot of questions and concerns all at once, all of which would require separate lines of inquiry. But the shared theme is an ethical question: should an organization whose principal purpose is enforcement of laws and rules, and whose primary means of enforcement is threat of detainment or arrest, also be tasked with roles better suited to organizations primarily concerned with health and social welfare?

I’m really sorry that’s happening. I recommend bringing your concerns to the Office of Student Outreach & Support (bit.ly/bc-stu-support). They can help you strategize (which may also involve bringing the concern to other campus offices) and can bring the complaint to BCPD.

? Awwwwww, back atcha! ?

The one in China has a solid PR department and we’re friends, but here are a few of my other old world favorites. The Ishtar Gate of Babylon is really stylish. https://bit.ly/bc-gate. The Theodosian Walls of Constantinople are over 1700 years old. Hope I look that good at that age. https://bit.ly/bc-byz

I’m worried about being caught up in the depressive atmosphere and the conflicts at home…… I really function better on BC campus, when it feels safe (most of the time) and stable. How do I make sure that I keep up with my work and maintain high functioning over the summer? I feel like I finally reach a better place over the school year, how do I help myself not to fall back into the cycle?

At least for the time being, counseling offices are maintaining telehealth. I recommend conferring with them: bit.ly/BC-counseling. I have little experience with this issue, myself, as walls don’t tend to move from one locale to another very often. Perhaps one solution is simply to get out of the walls that enclose family at least for doing schoolwork: going to a supportive friend’s or relative’s house, or perhaps spending a lot of time in cafes, parks, or libraries.

Added 6/16/20: Being the dense wall that I am, I neglected to add that any visits you make should be done with social-distancing in mind: masks on everyone, 6 feet of distance, and outdoors. I’ve heard of many very pleasant (and safe!) outdoor physically-distanced meetups. I hope cafe’s in your area have outdoors seating. And silly me for mentioning libraries! Few are open yet, and spending time indoors with many strangers would be unwise.

I know this is an odd thing but I must ask. I really like this concept and I just found out about it online. Sadly, I am nowhere near Boston. How do I make something like this in my hometown? Also, you should keep an easy to access online wall even after the pandemic.

I’m planning to keep my online presence – I’ve found discovering the Internet to be very exciting. Not that I don’t love my little post-its as well, of course. As for starting a version of…. me… in your hometown, that sounds like a wonderful idea. We use Padlet (padlet.com) for hosting the questions. You’ll need to have some outreach to bring questions to your site, so you might want to partner with a local library or other group to host it. And don’t forget, you’ll need some helpers to do some of the research. Check in and let me know how it goes!

There’s no date set for reopening yet, but we’ll get the word out as soon as it is determined. Meanwhile, the library is working hard to keep our collections and services available in new and creative ways while our spaces are unavailable. See bit.ly/BCLC19Updatesfor updates and details.

I don’t know. It’s on July 16. He’ll be 72 this year. I’m sure if you send him a card, one of the things he’ll do is read it. Valentine’s Day is not currently recognized other than in some local traditions in the Roman Catholic Church, so it’s quite likely Father Leahy does nothing special to observe St. Valentine on February 14.

I guess we need his address to send him a card, right? Is the address listed on the university contact his real address?

Yes, he will receive mail sent to that address.