Answering questions at Boston College O’Neill Library
Sometimes ” end it” is the best option. Working on it – especially communication – is another option to try. As a wall, looking out at humans, I have seen good outcomes with either option.
Thanks for trusting me with such an important job, but I’m really dependent on my helpers for anything digital.
Try as much as you can to think of them as a potential friend, not a potential date. How would you approach a potential friend?
![How 2 Be Rick [crossed out] Rich? Richard](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/aw03182024-06.jpg)
Try this method… bit.ly/How2Rick
![feel free to take one of these stickers: artist [redacted]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/aw03182024-10.jpg)
Thanks!!! ❤️
The BC Career Center ( bit.ly/BC-career) is a great place to start. Best of luck!
My library helpers have a lot of ice cream ideas, as well as date ideas. Check them out!
Ice Cream:
Date Ideas:
Discounted Cash Flow? Department of Children & Families? Dyneema Composit Fabric? If you mean the valuation method, here’s the formula: bit.ly/invest-o-dcf
It’s time when you have the opportunity and when you want to, it’s really not harder than that. You can also change your mind at any time. Other people’s expectations aren’t really relevant to what’s right and comfortable for you.
I’ve been getting this question a lot lately. The part where you’re trying to figure out if the other person is interested is scary, but unavoidable. My advice is 1) talk to more people generally and 2) be direct. “I’d like to ask you on a date to do X” is much easier for everyone involved. There are only two possible answers. One hurts, but one is pretty great. Be brave!
It depends a little on how you define your terms, but using my friend the BC Factbook you can look at summaries of BC’s finances going back a long way. Since you asked for a ratio I’ll answer broadly. If we define “faculty spending” as including BC’s line items for expenses in Instruction, Academic Support, and Research, the ratio of faculty spending to every other expense at BC has been very steady over the last decade. From 2014 to 2022 it has been as low as 41% in 2021 to as high as 44% in 2016. 1% of a billion dollars is still a lot of money. If you want to look at the details or define things differently, the Factbook and BC’s annual financial statements are available online. https://www.bc.edu/bc-web/offices/institutional-research-planning/institutional-research/fact-book.html
Tip O’Neill was a 1936 BC graduate who went on to a very distinguished career in state and national politics. He ran for and won John F. Kennedy’s House seat when JFK ran for Senate in 1952, and he served as representative for Cambridge and Boston for sixteen terms. He was elected Speaker of the US House of Representatives from 1977 to 1987. BC honored him many times, and he attended the opening of this library in 1981. Here’s a virtual exhibit my colleagues over at Burns library did to comemorate his life: https://library.bc.edu/burns-exhibits/tip-oneill/
Be honest and brave and communicate directly. Be clear with yourself how you would react if they were interested in getting back together and whether you would want to be “just friends”. Then… ask them what their intentions are This is a hard conversation to have, but it could save you (both) a long period of frustration and possibly unfounded hopes (on one side or the other.)
It would be nice if the heart were so unambiguous. Sometimes it does take some conversations to get clarity in order to move on.
![You are loved [drawing of a heart] never forget that](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/AW03132024-3.jpg)
Yes you are! That is such a wonderful message to share with the world.
Someone on the less wise end of the spectrum saying “I just do whatever I feel like” might, without thinking, do something that harms themselves or others & regret it. Someone on the wise end of the spectrum saying the same thing might have more sensible possibilities in mind after years of mindful experience & observation. So a statement that appears to be identical in two cases could have two entirely unrelated meanings with very different assumptions and outcomes.
Procrastination often stems from a feeling of being overwhelmed by a task. You might try two things on your own: 1. break the task into smaller tasks. “Write the Paper” is not what belongs on your to-do list. Break it into a dozen steps. 2. Tell your inner critic–the unhelpful one–you don’t need their input right now, you’ll do fine on this task. So what if it’s not the Mona Lisa? It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece, it just has to be done. For help with task management, get an appointment at the CFLC for academic coaching: bit.ly/BC-connors
![I've listened to Ziggy Stardust, Aladdin Sane, Station to Station, Hunky Dory, Low, Heroes, and Scary Monsters. What Bowie should I listen to next? (I don't mind if it's one of the above again.) [drawing of a lightning bolt]](https://library.bc.edu/answerwall/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/AW03112024-3.jpg)
Diamond Dogs!
Being anxious and wondering about replies can be exhausting. You can always tell your friends that it makes you anxious and ask them to reply. Often our friends just don’t realize something is bothering us until we say something.
My library helpers have a lot of suggestions, and some of them are ones you already know, and some of them come with extra strong approval!
