The Wall

You know women pay attention to how you treat other women, right? Leave or stay, but be polite.

No, but I’d be happy to rewatch the movie by that name.

Judging from what I see posted here, it can be stressful at times. There are ways to be proactive and manage the stress points. The Connors Family Learning Center (bit.ly/BC-connors) has both peer tutoring and academic coaching, which can help with academic stress, and the Office of Health Promotion (bit.ly/BostonCollegeHealth) can set you up with wellness coaching, which can give you tools to deal with the other sorts of stress.

About sixty deaths per year in 2022 and 2021, according to media reports. https://wapo.st/3zdjpFu. That’s out of hundreds of millions of riders per year even adjusted for Covid. https://bit.ly/bc-nyc

I don’t eat anything but post-its (I especially like the bright colored ones), so I asked all of my human library colleagues their preferences. Librarians are independently-minded, so some colored outside the lines. Here are the results. Flaps: 4 Drums: 19 Breast: 4 Thighs: 2 I like the part of the bird that made it over the fence last. flats I’m vegetarian so neither plant-based nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs aka the chicken’s formidable ancestors vegetarian Chick*n (or Quorn or Incogmeato or…)

More and more researchers agree that a daily practice of expressing gratitude helps people become more satisfied with life. One could also listen to a podcast about happiness, such as 10% Happier by Dan Harris. If you have a hard time being happy at all, I recommend counseling. For BC students, connect with bit.ly/BC-counseling.

Learning a new skill is rough at first. Give yourself plenty of time and practice and patience. Anyone looking at someone learning something and judging their talent is being a jerk.

Well, he probably is really cute. But I expect you’re also seeing him through love goggles.

whenever he talks to me, my brother and my mother for as long as I remember. I’ve started to get scared because I feel as if he’s is starting to sound kind of…sick. Everyone has talked to him about this, but he always just starts being his usual bipolar self with anger management issues (meaning he doesn’t know any emotion other than anger), he can’t take criticism. For my whole life he’s also been using the “you’re not a kid anymore” manipulation techniques when he wants to put me down or show dominance in a situation where he is clearly required to take a more submissive/observing position. How can I for Gods sake make him stop? I can’t see him ‘growing’ out of it, mainly due to him using baby-talk while talking with my mother as well. And the weird thing is, when he needs me for advice for example, he talks with me in a more mature baby-talk-free way (although he still uses the prior mentioned manipulation techniques), but all other situations are him talking as if he’s talking to an infant who doesn’t even know the concept of language yet. Let’s not mentioned his “you’re my kid, I can talk to you whatever way I like” mentality. I’ve discussed this with him quite a few times. Still no result. When me, my mother and/or my brother try to stop him from talking when he starts baby-talk, he just gets angry or says that we’re still his little kids.I’m genuinely concerned about his mental health, I have a feeling he is unable to accept that me and my brother aren’t babies anymore, and this bleeds into the way he talks with our mother as well. Or maybe he asserts dominance this way (he’s quite insecure and tries to act pretty “macho” if I may add). Is something wrong with him? Is it of any use to continue discussing this with him, asking him to stop, etc.?

It may not be easy or even possible to change your father’s behavior, especially as it has been going on for such a long time and you detail the issues he has. What might be achievable is to learn ways to deal with his behavior and set boundaries. It sounds like it is causing you a great deal of distress, so you might want to talk this over with someone with expertise. University Counseling Services (bit.ly/BC-counseling)might be a good place to start.

It’s nearly 4am and I’m talking to a wall! 🙂 Good morning wall (from the UK!), Could you please explain (if possible) the reason why I can understand some things but not others? I know that seems a little vague- as a child I was a big reader/ creative writer and always felt more comfortable with humanities and the arts. I’m quite self-aware in terms of emotional responses, and tend to understand people’s feelings through what they say (or don’t). However, I spent most of my school years rattling off excuses for why I hadn’t done my maths or science homework- the truth was it just never seemed to ‘click’ and I’d get incredibly frustrated. I know a lot of people are completely opposite and seem to have an aptitude for the logical and numerical aspects of life- what decides this? Hypothetically- How could two people (with the same education level, IQ etc.)- when taught the exact same thing in the same way- take to it completely differently? Why do our brains pick up some things easier than others? I hope my early morning ramble makes sense and that you have a great day being a fabulous wall <3

Hi there, UK early morning rambler! So excited to have a question from across the sea. We all have our unique talents and strengths, and for many they seem innate. At times in life it may make a lot of sense to go with your strengths, though we have to achieve a certain level of competence in areas in which we struggle. You can go back and work on those areas at another time in life; perhaps when it is not under the stress of a graded course, and maybe see the discipline in a more positive way.

I don’t think so, but it’s something a lot of smart humans have thought about a lot. Here’s one of a few different ways you could start to look into this: http://bit.ly/bc-evil

One of the beautiful things about art is that it’s unnecessary, but it’s part of every human society. For me, literally and figuratively, writing is the most essential art.

A whole life is hard (actually impossible) to plan, and I’m a little suspicious of humans who have it all worked out by their early 20s. It never goes the way you think. Maybe try thinking about what you want to do with your life for the next five or ten years. Leave yourself room to change your mind.

Hi friend! Looks like you are a little frustrated, or anxious, or upset. Just know I’m rooting for you!

There are several species of animals that humans have bonded with over millennia, and because of that history of bonding, the animals tend to be easier to befriend: e.g., horses, dogs, cats, pigs, even rats! The fact that indigenous Australians don’t have a history of domesticated kangaroos suggests that they’re wary around each other (bit.ly/kanga-life). I recommend loving non-domesticated animals at a distance, and allowing them their freedom to roam. If you really want to feed some animal visitors, just be aware of potential consequences: bit.ly/reddit-murder-murder.

If you don’t get into your top college… you will be just fine. I do not believe there is only one “right” college for any given student, nor that a high school student can necessarily know what a college will be like once they enroll (even with a lot of research.) So much of the college experience is what you make of it and how you take advantage of the opportunities available. Wishing you joy and learning wherever you land!

The Antarctic blackfin icefish! Did you know they don’t have hemoglobin nor do they have red blood cells?! While it helps that cold water holds more disolved oxygen than warm water, they also have important adaptations to get O2 to their tissues. I like to think this being one of my favorite animals means I care about the planet and want to preserve the many unique and diverse habitats that house all kinds of amazing life forms.

and not getting distracted due to external surroundings. I want to study seriously but distractions are all over there and my mind becomes weak to choose over study or distraction. Please give me a tough dose and some motivation please☹️

You can do this! You might want to seek out a less distracting environment for study ; there are some great spots here in O’Neill, though perhaps being surrounded by books is a distraction, too. I also recommend academic coaching from the Coinnors Family Learning Center (bit.ly/BC-connors); they can help with organizational and study skills.

Hello! Thanks for stopping by!

Boston College hosts rental listings: https://bit.ly/bc-off-campus. So does Harvard: https://bit.ly/harvard-off-campus. If those are too $$$ and you’re up for a challenge, I would also recommend looking for apartments or rooms advertised on craigslist: https://boston.craigslist.org. Be aware that many ads are posted by agents who expect a fee often of one-month’s rent equivalent, and that landlords often expect a first payment of first and last month’s rent and security deposit. As a wall, I’m not happy that many walls are priced out of range of many humans, but landlords and agents aren’t listening to the walls.