The Wall

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I like guys but I don’t want to be gay. How do I stop being gay?

I like guys but I don't want to be gay. How do I stop being gay?
I like guys but I don’t want to be gay. How do I stop being gay?

Scientific research has shown that sexual orientation is not something that can be changed. Conversion therapies try to change one’s sexual orientation, but they have not been successful and in fact may be harmful. Several U.S. states and countries have actually banned conversion therapy. But don’t despair- speaking with a BC counselor or a LGBTQ-friendly advisor can help you work through the conflict that you are feeling.

You're not alone- I'm in the same boat. It really sucks. It's hard for me because you can't talk to anyone w/out revealing your secret. Just be strong. Maybe some day we'll have the courage to come out.
You’re not alone- I’m in the same boat. It really sucks. It’s hard for me because you can’t talk to anyone w/out revealing your secret. Just be strong. Maybe some day we’ll have the courage to come out.

There are many people you can safely talk to about your feelings and questions. You don’t need to be certain you are gay before talking to someone or attending an LGBTQ+ meeting. People who are questioning their sexual orientation are also welcome. There are some great BC groups where you can meet supportive peers. There are also Boston area groups if you prefer something off-campus. See BC resources: bit.ly/BCLGBTQ and area resources: bit.ly/ma-lgbtq

I am a gay male. I have been out nearly 7 years now (age 16, sophomore year of HS). Before I came out I struggled w/ depression and it got to the point where I was going to take my own life, because, quite frankly, I hated myself. I internalized everything society told me. There was a point where i was looking at the train tracks on the T ride home (waiting for a train to come so I could jump) Thankfully I had a change of heart and now i look back at that day. horrified. That week I told my friends and family I was gay. They were so accepting and I was one of the lucky queer people that have an accepting family/friend group. 7 years later, I could not be happier, my only regret is I did not talk to someone sooner. It is hard here. I am not going to lie to you.
I am a gay male. I have been out nearly 7 years now (age 16, sophomore year of HS). Before I came out I struggled w/ depression and it got to the point where I was going to take my own life, because, quite frankly, I hated myself. I internalized everything society told me. There was a point where i was looking at the train tracks on the T ride home (waiting for a train to come so I could jump) Thankfully I had a change of heart and now i look back at that day. horrified. That week I told my friends and family I was gay. They were so accepting and I was one of the lucky queer people that have an accepting family/friend group. 7 years later, I could not be happier, my only regret is I did not talk to someone sooner. It is hard here. I am not going to lie to you.
It is very homogeneous/ hetero-normative and being in a catholic institution is not the easiest environment for queer students. Just know that you are loved, you are important and it is amazing to be queer, as it is a valid identity and many people are. If people do not accept you for who you are, then it is their loss not yours.
It is very homogeneous/ hetero-normative and being in a catholic institution is not the easiest environment for queer students. Just know that you are loved, you are important and it is amazing to be queer, as it is a valid identity and many people are. If people do not accept you for who you are, then it is their loss not yours.
Self love is a beautiful process, and it is ongoin. I love you.
Self love is a beautiful process, and it is ongoin. I love you.

Thank you for being so supportive and for sharing your story honestly. BC is lucky you are here. I especially appreciate that you told others they are loved and important- so true! (I’m sorry I had to remove the post-it with contact info. I observe a strict anonymity policy to protect everyone’s privacy. I’m a public but very private wall.)

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As a conservative Mexican-American, I feel very isolated into expressing my opinions in class & with friends.

As a conservative Mexican-American, I feel very isolated into expressing my opinions in class & with friends.
As a conservative Mexican-American, I feel very isolated into expressing my opinions in class & with friends.

Seeking out and sharing with folks from a similar background or with similar viewpoints can help you feel less isolated and keep you in touch with the things that matter most to you, particularly when you feel like you are in the minority here at BC. But also take the time to evaluate your own beliefs, and take advantage of the opportunity to learn from people different from you — you might find yourself less alone than you think!

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Are all the people in AC toxic?

Are all the people in AC toxic? (Asian communities on campus?)
Are all the people in AC toxic? (Asian communities on campus?)

No, absolutely not. I haven’t encountered any toxic communities on campus. And I’d prefer you not make negative generalizations about any of my friends. (Note: everyone at BC is a friend of mine, even if they don’t know it.)

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Do you guys like molly the lab like we do?

Do you guys like molly the lab like we do?
Do you guys like molly the lab like we do?

Neither me nor my assistants have heard of this particular molly, and are intrigued. Tell me more.

She's a puppy that walks on campus, she has an article and is the best girl! [?] @mollyonthequad
She’s a puppy that walks on campus, she has an article and is the best girl! [?] @mollyonthequad

She’s beautiful! 13/10. I’ll make sure my staff watches out for her and finds the Insta account @mollyonthequad.

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I fall in love with my TA What should I do?

I fall in love with my TA What should I do?
I fall in love with my TA What should I do?

I think this is going to have to be “the one that got away.” BC policy states”the policy prohibits any faculty member, employee, graduate assistant, or undergraduate teaching assistant from engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship, or in any romantic or sexual conduct, with any individual whom they supervise, teach, advise, evaluate, counsel, or coach” http://bit.ly/BCRevConsent

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Why do I keep falling for the same type of guy?

Why do I keep falling for the same type of guy?
Why do I keep falling for the same type of guy?

I gather that this type of guy is not the right type of guy for you. You can start by making an appointment with University Counseling, or find a private therapist to help you work through this pattern. And write down a list of the most important qualities in a good partner/friend for you. Also think about that boy from your younger days who you really liked in a platonic way — what was he like? Would someone like him appeal to you today, romantically? Consider mixing up your BC social life a bit. You may encounter some new faces that will surprise you.  It’s a tough process, but good to face if you know you’re on the wrong path.

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Please share tips!!

Please share tips!!
Please share tips!! <3

Tip: Ask a Librarian. They’re at the reference desk (the one facing the main doors) 9am-9pm M-Th, 9-5 F, and 11-7 Sat/Sun. The library website (library.bc.edu) is full of information about resources. Just follow the “Research Guides” link (library.bc.edu/research_guides) or the “Get Help” link on the menu.There are library tip cards just to my right (your left). Health & wellness tip cards from the Office of Health Promotion are on the display rack next to the reference desk.