about feelings

why do i get so sad after i get really happy? i don’t understand it. it’s like when i feel my feelings, they have to be extreme.

I suppose this is one interpretation of what is called the pursuit of happiness. Life is of full of things that make you happy, as well as things that may negatively impact your happiness. Hypothetically, if someone works really hard to become and remain happy, they could be devastated if they become unhappy. Perhaps some degree of moderation with wanting to be happy is a good idea.

about love

i’m in a long-distance relationship with someone, and i love them so much and they make me so happy. sometimes i get very scared that we won’t last long enough to see each other. any advice? thank you šŸ˜€

One of the hard things about distance relationships, even without Covid, is the tendency to think about the last visit or the next one rather than right now. Somewhat related is the tendency to not want to bring up issues during the time you have together. Both of these are bad for relationship health. Try to focus on what you have now, today, and don’t sweep your problems under the rug. Good luck! It’s hard, but lots of people have made it work.

Technically when you smell something, you eat it.

The small particles of the meal go into your nose, get absorbed by the tissue and travel thought your blood vessels. Eventually they go into the kidneys and from there to the other side. Will it be possible to stay alive for a couple of weeks by just smelling food non-stop? (even though I will feel hungry)

That’s not exactly the case. Your nose is picking up odor molecules, but in most cases you are not actually eating the substance and getting nutrition (see more details: bit.ly/HowSmellWorks) So please don’t cancel your meal plan – no matter how good the cooking smells…

Boy worth my time?

I was talking to a boy, and it seemed like we had so much in common and we got a long so well. I was hanging out with him and texting all the time. VERY suddenly, he said he is dealing with some stuff at home and needs some time, and needs this to slow down because he can’t date me right now. Should I just give up and assume he doesn’t like me but isn’t being mature enough to tell me? Or could it be possible he might just not be ready for anything serious and he will come around at some point and I should wait? I do like him, but I also want a boy that actually wants me, and him putting me aside makes me question if he values me.

I’m sorry, that’s never great to hear. You deserve the boy who wants to be with you now. Maybe it’ll be this one at some point later, but I wouldn’t spend too much energy worrying about it. Move cheerfully along.

The way parents should teach their children the alphabet:

A is for alcohol, source of addiction, liver disease and other afflictions. So how ’bout water, that might be okay, but if it’s in plastic there’s B for B.P.A C is for corn syrup soda pop uses, and also for carbs found in sugary juices. D, dehydration, you still have to drink, though all these beverages seem like they stink. Eating too little, or too much to count, E is for eating in perfect amounts, and eating some things that you shouldn’t consume, cause dozens of dishes will lead to your doom. F is for fried food that’s filled up with fat. Gluten for G if you buy into that. H is for hot dogs, who knows how they’re made. I for insecticide, veggies are sprayed. J is for jerky with way too much salt. K is for kale, it’s also at fault. But isn’t it healthy? I’m glad that you ask. Cabbage and kale make thyroids too fast. “Forget about eating, I’ll just go outside.” But that is where even more dangers can hide. L is for Lyme disease, carried by ticks. M is for malaria that mosquitos inflict. N is for N-diethyl-meta-toluamide (DEET in bug spray). It kills all the bugs, and it kills your insides. O is for oxygen less recreation. P for pollution in each inhalation. Q is for quicksilver, fishing is wrecked. R, deadly radon that’s hard to detect. S is for sunscreen, but also the sun. Both give you cancer, now isn’t that fun? T for tobacco U V for UV W for watching way too much T.V. X as expected, is X-Ray Y is surprisingly Yerba mate Z is for zealotry. I wonder why this is so little told to the young children… This gives me motivation to live, even though I know, that no matter my actions, I’m still gonna die.

I think small children would probably find this quite entertaining – much in the vein of Gorey’s abcdedaria. Or, as my Dad (a Manhattan apartment) used to sing to me: “A is for architect who made the design, B is for brace that keeps you in line, C is is for ceiling joist….”

Think I’m gay but not sure send help

I’ve had plenty of relationships with girls but usually ended them all after a few months since I didn’t really feel that emotional connection I had when I was with my friends(guy friends) one relationship was really bad and made me start to wonder why I never felt that connection I have with my friends, with a female partner. Am I extremely heartbroken or coming to a realization? Thanks to anyone that responds in advance(:

It sounds like you’re confused about your sexual orientation, which isn’t an easy place to be. Please know that you’re not alone: most people at some point experience ambiguity in relationships that makes them ask questions of one kind or another. Reaching out is the right thing to do. Find people you trust and can confide in. One option for exploring your experiences and identity is always counseling. At BC: bit.ly/BC-counseling. I have no doubt that in some time you’ll know yourself better and can embrace who you are. Until then, continue embracing yourself. You’re a wonderful person.

Why do people find metal and other music, that can not be understood, as attractive?

One could say that subjectivity is what makes art so fascinating. While metal may resonate with some, it may not with others. In regards to understanding, I suppose there are facets of different music genres some folks could have trouble understanding. (Screaming in metal, body movement in hip-hop, etc.) These sorts of things can hopefully be explained by respective fans of different genres.

Aloha. Why is that society has the power to prevent another person from taking their own life?

Why isn’t that the person’s own decision to make? And why does therapist has the power and obligation to prevent suicide? Don’t people ever question that?

Aloha. Lots of people do ask that question. It’s a big topic in medical ethics (https://bit.ly/bc-medical-ethics) and law (https://bit.ly/bc-pad). That’s the scholarly answer. But if this is in any way a practical question for you, there are people available to talk with. You can call 617-552-3225 and ask to talk to the PEC, or call the national suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255, if you’d like to keep BC out of it.

Alohaha btw.. that was just a complaint, not a real plan šŸ™‚

When a person talks about people taking their own lives, I always take it seriously.

That a good thing because sometimes that save lives. Btw, any recommendations on Christmas plan?

One of the joys of Christmas–spending time with friends and family–may have to be put off, or at least done remotely this year. I know you humans like to move about, so to change up your remote gatherings, arrange a call where everyone goes for a walk to a favorite destination and shares the walk and the location. And promise each other a long hug when you’re able to reunite.