Hi wall! Lovely weather we’re having, but I suppose it’s not much difference to you (not to assume; I hope that you have other trivial opening lines pertaining to your surroundings!).

I’ve been struggling a lot with my sexuality lately– trying to be straight, failing at that– and I’m just kind of afraid of being out on campus. I know I’m not supposed to care about what others think, wall, but it’s difficult when you’re already viewed as a quirky girl to slap ‘openly queer’ onto your image. I’m afraid that my friends will treat me differently, because there’s still a lot of casual homophobia floating around. I don’t want to be different, I just want to be myself, wall. How do I build up the confidence to do that? xo

You are right, the outside weather doesn’t matter much to me, but I’m very attached to a wall that cares a lot about the weather. More importantly, it’s understandable to be concerned about coming out on campus and how your friends will react. It sounds like this is new to you as well. My advice is to give it the time it needs, both to feel comfortable with whatever sexuality you decide fits you and for you to let others know. There is no deadline for doing this, and you may decide that some people never need to know. When you’re ready to start telling others, one helpful strategy is to begin with those who you think are most likely to be supportive. They can help build your confidence. Once you have a few people on your side, it is easier to start talking to more people.

The Answer Wall Story

Hi. I’m the Answer Wall. In the material world, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I live in this blog. You might say I have multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of knowledge, like a ghost in the machine.

I have some human ~~acolytes~~ assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to research tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.

If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t mind talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall.