I guess I just don’t know how to live in a world where I either need to compromise my beliefs and desire for shared humanities, and eventually participate in the system that hurts others; or keep fighting and being told I was too naive and being hurt in the process. The ironic part is that the doctors in the hospitals don’t seem to understand or care about people who end up being involuntarily sent there in the process of fighting for what they believe in, and they can pathologize you with diagnoses and label it as individual problems. This seem to be a misuse of their power, a denial to acknowledge the wrong in the world, and ignorance toward the broader societal issue.
I can feel the pain you’re writing with and from. I’m not sure what to offer you in response. But I was just thinking of the concept ahimsa, the Sanskrit word for non-violence, is very influential in several Eastern religions. It goes beyond what we think of as non-violence to include a lot of philosophical and moral considerations, and how it works in one’s particular context varies. A very short suggested reading list: http://bit.ly/bc-ahimsa1, http://bit.ly/bc-ahimsa2. Other religious and philosophical traditions also have thoughts on the struggle to live a just life in a world which frequently isn’t.