{"id":11564,"date":"2019-11-20T03:23:15","date_gmt":"2019-11-20T08:23:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/?p=11564"},"modified":"2019-11-20T17:58:43","modified_gmt":"2019-11-20T22:58:43","slug":"how-do-i-approach-a-suitemate-with-some-things-that-are-bothering-me-without-hurting-her-feelings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/2019\/11\/20\/how-do-i-approach-a-suitemate-with-some-things-that-are-bothering-me-without-hurting-her-feelings\/","title":{"rendered":"How do I approach a suitemate with some things that are bothering me without hurting her feelings?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"520\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/20191120_031217_2.jpg\" alt=\"How do I approach a suitemate with some things that are bothering me without hurting her feelings?\" class=\"wp-image-11563\" srcset=\"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/20191120_031217_2.jpg 520w, https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/20191120_031217_2-300x277.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 520px) 100vw, 520px\" \/><figcaption>How do I approach a suitemate with some things that are bothering me without hurting her feelings?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>\n\nFirst, let go of feeling responsibility for her reaction. It may sound cold &amp; unfeeling, but you aren&#8217;t responsible anyone&#8217;s feelings but your own. That said, you can present your concerns in ways that are less or more effective or compassionate. Start with &#8220;I&#8221; statements; describe how you reacted &amp; felt. Avoid &#8220;you&#8221; statements, which will be perceived as accusatory and likely encourage defensiveness. Finally, before you talk, clarify for yourself what your precise concerns are, and what you&#8217;re looking for in a response.\n\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>First, let go of feeling responsibility for her reaction. It may sound cold &amp; unfeeling, but you aren&#8217;t responsible anyone&#8217;s feelings but your own. That said, you can present your concerns in ways that are less or more effective or compassionate. Start with &#8220;I&#8221; statements; describe how you reacted &amp; felt. Avoid &#8220;you&#8221; statements, which &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/2019\/11\/20\/how-do-i-approach-a-suitemate-with-some-things-that-are-bothering-me-without-hurting-her-feelings\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;How do I approach a suitemate with some things that are bothering me without hurting her feelings?&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11564","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11564","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11564"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11564\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11574,"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11564\/revisions\/11574"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11564"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11564"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/library.bc.edu\/answerwall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11564"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}